Drunk heavily until 11 weeks not knowing I was pregnant

[Worried1st]

I’m a new mom to be and I need some advice or any similar experiences anyone else has had on this topic. I’m at the stage where I’m near abortion as I’m so worried I have done irreplaceable damage.

I found out I was pregnant at 11 weeks and during that time I was working a very busy summer and drinking every day. I wasn’t drunk every day but I can’t think of a day that passed that I didn’t have a beer or two after work and some days I had way more . I went on two wine tasting holidays and definitely wasn’t thinking about my health or the health of my baby. I was working long stressful hours but I was running frequently.

When I found out I was shocked as I am absolutely horrified at the amount I have drunk not knowing. I was on birth control and my periods are light so I didn’t notice until I started feeling really run down and nauseous. I just figured it was from my work.

I am obviously not drinking since I found out and I’m just over 16 weeks now. My window of time to abort is very little and I’m at such a crossroads. My long term partner is supportive of any decision I make. I want to keep the baby but I don’t want to be selfish and subject the innocent child to a lifetime of suffering because of me.

Can anyone help me?

You should be fine, alcohol affects a baby in the midterm later stages of pregnancy I do believe although I may be wrong. But talk to the midwife and you'll find the best advise from her,
I found out at 6 weeks pregnant and was living a very party lifestyle my daughter was fine. Good Luck x

I’m sure it’s fine, and it’s not like you can do anything about it now is there?? Try not to worry.

Your baby will not be harmed by your drinking so early in the pregnancy, I assure you.

You're not the first and you most definitely won't be the last . Don't beat yourself up about a situation you didn't know about. Many a healthy child was conceived in similar circumstances! Have a chat to your GP, midwife or whoever can reassure you with hard facts behind them. And don't allow yourself to be judged - this is your decision, it has to be right for you and your partner.

I know very little about this, but am curious to know on what basis previous posters know that babies are not harmed by drinking early in the pregnancy?

From the advice I read online, it seems that that is completely untrue.

National Organization on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: "Any woman is at risk of having a child with an FASD if she drinks alcohol during pregnancy. Alcohol can harm an embryo or fetus at any time, even before a woman knows she is pregnant."
www.nofas.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Fact-sheet-what-everyone-should-know_old_chart-new-chart1.pdf

"Some of the most severe problems happen when a pregnant woman drinks in the first trimester, when the baby's brain starts to develop. But the second and third trimesters aren’t safe either. The brain is still developing then, and this process can be interrupted by even moderate amounts of alcohol."
www.webmd.com/baby/fetal-alcohol-syndrome

Sorry OP, realise this is not the information you wanted, but I don't think it helps to give you consulation that may not be right. I would advise you to get in touch with a support organisation for children with FAS, to learn what it can be/what it would mean and perhaps to get some reassurance too. www.nofas-uk.org/

Please talk to your GP or a midwife before you make any firm decisions. Back when I was young you were at least 6/7weeks before you even suspected you were pregnant. Then it was a trip to the doctors before you found out for sure. I'm sure I drank during the first timester and my DD is now a high flying academic. Get some concrete advice then you can make an informed choice. Good Luck x x

OP how many people do you know who have FAS?
Compare that to how many women have drank in the early stages of pregnancy not knowing?
Of course no one can say for certain their will be no damage but I highly highly doubt there will be.

I drunk like a fish for 11 weeks before I found out about DD. She’s completely fine. I think this happens ever such a lot.

FAS is actually very rare and unless you drank bottles of vodka a day you are unlikely to have really affected your baby. The reason they tell you not to drink is because people tend to underestimate their intake and everyone is different .

Happened to me - my now 6 year old is fine. I was 9 weeks before I found out I was pregnant. I was heavily drinking/nights out. I wondered why I felt particularly sick when nursing a hangover (morning sickness !).

You are obviously really grappling with your decision.

I assume you have already looked into FAS. My understanding is that the risk is greatest during the second half of the first trimester. There are degrees of FAS. Some babies with FAS have it very obviously because the face is affected (when heavy drinking at around week 8 in particular might have an affect I believe) and in some the effects are more subtle (intellectual or psychological difficulties). I do not really think anyone can answer the question definitively as to how many people they know with FAS.

All that said it’s not really clear how much you were drinking. It sounds that it might not be at a level that puts your baby at a significant risk of FAS.

Since you are asking for advice and are plainly conflicted I do not think it is fair to say to you it will all be fine. I don’t think it’s possible to guarantee that. Though I’d say it’s more likely than not your baby would be fine it is probabky the case that most people drinking heavily in early pregnancy do stop before the 11 weeks mark.

I think you should probably look up FAS much more deeply if you have not already. And consider talking to your midwife.

Best of luck to you. You sound very responsible. Whatever you decide to do I hope you can move forward positively.

This happened a lot previously, before we became aware.
You would have to be drinking, A LOT, of vodka, for example for FAS.
Not the same as drinking frequently.

I was pissed on my hen night. Before I realised I was pregnant!

It's my understanding that FAS is mainly from when the Mum is an alcoholic. It's not from just a bit of a beery summer.

It's certainly not a sole reason to terminate.

This article makes it sound like, SERIOUS amounts of alcohol are required. Spirits. As apposed to wine tasting holidays!

I found Tendence post to be scaremongering: ott, anxiety ridden, paranoia.
With alcoholic parents?

Just my take on it.

You really have to drink a lot for a child to have FAS, and even amongst alcoholics who drink during pregnancy, the majority of their children are not affected.

Actually the symptoms and problems associated with FAS is on a spectrum. Each baby responds and develops uniquely, women who are alcohol dependent do not necessarily have babies with FAS but are obviously at risk. You would be surprised how many babies and young children are recognised as having FAS, not all have the facial features associated with it but go onto develop learning difficulties or behavioural difficulties, ADHD is linked for example. Not all mothers will admit to early pregnancy drinking so it is not always easy to diagnose.

My advice having worked with children with FAS is to be totally honest with your midwife/health visitor - it isn't unusual for women to drink not knowing they are pregnant. But don't assume it will be fine, it's much better to say and any issues can be picked up on.

I was out typically on a thurs, fri and/or sat and had at least 6 bottles of beers. I found out at 28 weeks. Baby was perfectly fine and midwives/consultants really assured me that was likely to be the case.

Thankyou all so, so much for all your comments. I really appreciate the advice and just being able to talk freely about this. This decision is the hardest one il ever have to make.

I spoke to my pre natal doc and my family doc and they both said the same thing which is that no one can ever say there is no risk...but they also assured me that the chance is very low. They both said their main concern is the stress my anxiety is causing to the baby.

They are flagging my 20 week scan to have more of an in depth look at bone structure and facial features which may or may not tell FAS, but they are aware of my anxiety regarding this and I have been completely honest about everything I drunk. If only I could turn back time....

Thanks again all of you x

www.drinkaware.co.uk/alcohol-facts/health-effects-of-alcohol/fertility-and-pregnancy/foetal-alcohol-syndrome-fas/

This website gives the facts on drinking in pregnancy.

the first 3 months are actually the most critical as that is when the baby is developing. the babies face is formed in weeks 6-9, babies with FAS have a very distinctive look if excessive alcohol is consumed during that period.

Its so worrying that people still believe that its later pregnancy that is important - a baby is simply growing then - rather than being formed.

OP facial features will not show on a 20 week scan - they will not show now till 8 weeks after birth - sorry a medical professional told you otherwise. There is simply no way to tell now it any damage has been done in your first 11 weeks....
If you choose to have the baby, you can ask to be referred after 8 weeks to a geneticist, they will take the pregnancy history, examine the baby, ask about how the baby behaves - sleeps, eats etc - and then measure the baby, weigh baby, measure the face, head, hands, feet. Take photos. take bloods. This is all measured and compared with the population. Usually then a group of doctors meet and discuss the child and decide if they have FAS.
You as the parent go back to clinic after a month or so and are given the results of all the tests - and a yes or no to FAS.

It is scary but good to be informed so I hope this helps.

you did not know you were pregnant so please don't beat yourself up about it. you have sought advice - its annoying they said they can tell on a scan - they cannot, this is wrong advice. please look at the FAS link if you are worried.

That's all you can do OP, you've not done anything illegal and you're taking all the protective steps for your baby.

I hope all works out don't be hard on yourself

Since we're talking about this - too ashamed to start my own thread. When i was pregnant with DS19 I drank a bottle of wine at 5, 8 and 12 weeks. He has some mild learning difficulties and mild ASD. Was it the alcohol?

FAS is rare, I know several women who drank a lot before they knew they were pregnant. Their babies were fine. And one who drank throughout pregnancy, her baby was fine too. Please don't overthink it too much, the massive likelihood is that you won't have done any damage. Unless you plan to neck several bottles of spirits a day, baby will be absolutely fine!

But my other son has very severe ADHD and i didn't touch a drop.

I drank and smoked heavily (and took drugs occasionally) before finding out to my great surprise I was 7 months pregnant.
I am unbelievably grateful that my dd was born healthily with no obvioius repercussions. She’s 15
now and while I wouldn’t ever advise such a lifestyle when pregnant obviously, she’s turned out just fine.
I did feel hugely guilty about it at the time and I think I was really lucky.
I work with a child who was born with FAS, it’s very sad what it can do.