Reducing stress levels at this time of year

[notsurewhatshappening]

It's always such a busy time - loads of viruses going round, Christmas events, DD is having her birthday and party soon, 2 school plays to see plus masterminding my own (I'm a teacher), shopping, preparing for Christmas etc. DH is working away at the moment and I'm panicking about all the stuff I need to do... How do you look after yourself and keep things calm and low stress??

Be really organised and get as much done in advance. Online shopping- amazon prime.
Take echinacea to boost my immune system.
Say no to social events you don’t want to go to.

Yes - things I want to say no to:
Helping at the Christmas shopping thing at youngest's school
Running a stall at the school fair
Doing a maths workshop at 6 pm one night
Going to rugby club Christmas party
Chaperoning at Christmas play
Rushing around seeing people for the sake of it

As far as school goes, I've happily donated gifts to sell at the fair and given money for non uniform days etc. Last year I did a lot of volunteering. I'd rather be at home under a blanket this time though!

I used to whip myself into a frenzy trying to get organised etc but after a bereavement last year I’ve completely changed. My top tips are
Stop giving a fuck about all the small things. I say that a lot on here as a tip and it really is life changing
Order online if and when you can. Even if you have to pay the delivery it saves you the stress and hassle of going to pick things up.
Make lists
Say no to things you don’t want to /can’t do. We say yes to so many things out of politeness, not actual wanting.
See if you can cut back on some of your Christmas gift giving this year, there’s so many gifts exchanged just for the sake of it and quite often it’s just unwanted tat.

A good night's sleep helps. Perhaps saying no to alcohol at any event as well.

Good ideas thanks!

Don't do stuff. Of course, there are some things you have to do, but I've become an expert at avoiding thing which seem to be unnecessarily time-wasting or stressful.

My latest motto is "Christmas is optional."

I sympathise entirely OP. I feel like this too so you aren't alone. The things that really help reduce my stress levels and keep my anxiety under control are the simplest things. Getting enough sleep and remembering to eat regularly are really important. I know anxiety and stress can make it difficult to drop off to sleep and I struggle with this sometimes. I use audiobooks to help me drift off. Another thing that really helps is to say no to unwanted social things i.e parties etc that you don't want to go to. I frankly hate work Christmas parties and routinely decline invites to them. I really hate the commercialised frenzy of this time of year and I have pared down my present list to those people I actually want to buy gifts for. Vouchers are absolutely ok as gifts and ordering stuff online really reduces the stress and time spent trying to find car parking and queuing in heaving shopping complexes. I take time for myself every day and my current favourite thing to to is settle into a warm bath with Netflix on the iPad and let the tension and stress of the day go. I try to eat well and make sure I'm drinking enough fluids even if I have to add squash to water. Lack of daylight is a bit of an issue at the moment so try a vitamin D supplement. I take a B50 complex vitamin and it helps reduce how tired I feel sometimes. I have pre ordered Christmas lunch from marks and spencer and do online grocery shopping so that helps as well. Hope some if these are helpful x

I also sympathise! I get v v stressed before xmas.

These are my tips:
I have pretty much decided not to send xmas cards this year but I will try to send a few to elderly aunties, etc. - from a very early age I paid my DD to write them for me (pennies per card) - I have all the addresses on computer so just print off labels for envelopes. Also resorted to a Round Robin for said elderly aunties, on the assumption that's better than nothing! RRobin is mainly just a photo of us and a paragraph wishing them well - hopefully not cringe inducing.

I have a little notebook in my handbag. One end is present ideas for people (cross them off when purchased). Other end is ideas for me :-)...In the middle I have lists for food, etc. etc.

It helped me when I accepted that Christmas is not really for me to enjoy but instead to really buckle down and do my best to ensure that everyone else enjoys it whilst smiling merrily along the way. I think if you start to feel hard done by because it should be your time to relax and enjoy too, that's a recipe for frustration and added stress.

I have stopped searching for the perfect gifts for people and try to just get something nice. I have decided this year that I will wait until really close to Christmas to buy for those that I don't need to post.

MIL comes for a week before xmas and she will help me to wrap.
Instead of wrapping, get gift bags (I save from previous year) and just scrunch stuff into pretty tissue paper (secure with one strip of sellotape if necessary). Get a decent sellotape dispenser that you can use one-handed. DD will decorate luggage labels for bags.

I have an electric blanket on my bed and I take a cup of tea up to bed and snuggle into the warmth to relax.

We have said no to presents for adults this year. Each year my in laws present us with a list of shit for the sake of it. Then mother in law asks what we want but with a tone that suggests it is a massive inconvenience. For me, Christmas gift buying should be about seeing something cute you think someone would love, not presents to order. So we are only buying for the kids and if I see something I love for myself, I will buy it!
My mum spent years trying to make Christmas perfect and it was obvious she hated it. My plan is basic Christmas package accompanied by lots of time spent playing with the kids or going Christmassy places.

If anyone saw Martyn Lewis’ programme about how ridiculous Xmas is getting, he said it all! Don’t buy tat for the sake of it, dont spend more than you can afford ! Invest in experiences and memories not commercialised crap. Easier said than done, but I found it really inspiring.
It’s nice to know that it’s a common experience to feel resentful and exhausted. I stopped enjoying Cmas years ago as it’s all down to me to organise and I just never enjoy it anymore. In fact I dread it. Christmas should be family time and about love not getting into debt and feeling majorly stressed.

Presents for kids etc. Tell kids to write up a list. Spend 1 Friday night working out what you are going to buy people. Blitz biggest local shopping centre Saturday morning. Then home and online shop for anyone you haven't managed to buy for yet. Don't worry about getting the perfect presents - how many presents you receive are perfect??

I get frustrated at how people say cards are so much effort. They can be done in one sitting maybe 2 hours. Really. I don't do a long message - just add will phone you over xmas for a catch up.

I'd say to the school fair, that sounds time consuming. And other stuff you don't want to go to - but make sure you really don't want to go, sometimes a few wines at a Christmas party is really relaxing!

School concerts etc. Even if at 5, get home and have an early dinner (something crappy) then off to school concert. This means they can be straight to bed when home.

Don't worry about viruses etc - if you get them, you do. But nothing can stop that.

I do lots at the beginning of December - maybe that would help you?

So 1st December up early to get tree, tidy, decorate tree and house.
Sunday presents and cards (don't send until 10th though)

8th December - full list of what to buy for xmas dinner and what recipe I am using for each component.

I won't go take the kids to extra-currics that weekend, DH will and I can have peace and quiet to sort things out.

Going through a bereavement but still want my 3 DC to have a nice Christmas. I think reducing my stress load is key to this because I'm exhausted and drained this year. Normally I'm very up for it.
So I'm not doing cards this year and only doing one night out, one I really want to do. No extra shows, trips. The kids get plenty of stimulation through school.
We are staying home and keeping it quieter.

To help control some of the stress actually during the Christmas week, I heartily recommend that you get outdoors, every single day. Instead of going to parties with friends, arrange to meet them in a park, or on a beach, and let the kids race around like loonies.

One of my favourite things to do is catch up with friends whilst having a walk. We usually head to a local forest, about 15 minutes drive away. There's something so lovely about a forest on boxing day, even if it is full of other people with exactly the same idea. Whilst I love settling on the sofa with the cat and a book, it's essential for my mental well-being to get outside for an hour or so each day. I die a little if it doesn't happen.

Christmas x3 - I like your style, sounds like a good plan.

We have cut down the presents big time, most of my friends have agreed to stop buying for each other's children which has made me much calmer about the whole shebang.

Also, since realising that my inlaws don't treat our Christmas day like a proper special day I am making much less effort this year. If they don't like it they don't have to come next year (please please please)
We like biscuits and ice cream for pudding, so that's what we are having!

I've done a planner for the whole of December and have put things on that are already booked (school plays etc) then if there are extra things that crop up I can easily see if it will fit in or not.

But mainly, the way to reduce stress is to say NO to any extraneous stuff (item or activity) a lot more. I hope you succeed in having a more laid back time this year OP. xx

I managed to go for a swim today on my own, which was fab!

I’ve heard it said that most stress is caused by a needless effort on our part to secure the goodwill and approval of others.

Amazon John Lewis and more Amazon. Last year absolutely everything, including all the food, was ordered well in advance, online. Even the cards and wrapping. Apart from the odd thing I happened to see that I thought people might like. And try not to say yes to anything you don't actually want to do.

YES, Enthymeme and bimbobaggins,, all good and true that you have both said here.. Christmas can be made simple and lovely if you have the mindset to do it this way.

I have agreed no gifts with a few people, which leaves me very few to buy for. Three DGCs and friends' DS are getting Advent calendars I have made and filled, and I've sent fancy Advent calendars to both nieces and their partners (they will possibly think I am bonkers, but old aunties are meant to be eccentric, right?).

DP and I have agreed we'll just get lots of nice easy buffet food for Christmas Day when we will be 4 adults and two DC, we have a family Christmas meal for ten on 23rd and I'm not doing a big roast twice.

Nonetheless I will probably feel pretty stressed at times! Hope yours goes well OP.

Write a list of things you think you need to do. cross out the things you’re not bothered about and things no one will be bothered about in 3 months time. Keep what makes Christmas special to you and those round you. Give experiences instead of tat. Remember Christmas is a time for joy and sharing peaclove and happiness with those around you. Everything else is just people trying to get a share of your cash

I'm going to buck the 'order online' trend. I say allocate yourself one day (rope in grand parents/aunts and uncles/friends for child care if necessary), have a list and go to a really nice decent sized High Street/shopping centre that you know and like and enjoy some time buying the Christmas gifts that you need/want.
Stop for coffee.
Look at and feel the gifts.
Enjoy the colours in the shops.
I find having a gift theme can help too. I don't know who you buy for so it might not work of course, but one year I had a voucher for 25% off White Company and so bought all my gifts from there.
Candles, luxury bath oils, pajamas etc

Or if you do need to do on line shopping, make it tickets for shows at your local theatre/civic centre/cinema?
or the recipients local theatre.

And I second the no alcohol and a good night sleep.
Even if you have to take some sleeping tablets just for a night or two. Everything can feel better are a good night sleep.

Good luck and hang in there; this too shall pass.

Some great ideas here and I want to second not attending events unless you really want to go. I went to our work Christmas do last night even though I really didn't want to and felt very flat afterwards. I chose not to drink and came home early. On reflection I would have been so much happier spending that money on a few bottles of wine and inviting a few close work friends over for a drink. I think FOMO kicked in rather than putting myself first.

I think there’s a lot of pressure from others and I used to be weak and give in to things I don’t want to do. I’ve already been told I’m bah humbug about something and in the past I would have given in but now I don’t care.