Adult DC and board money?

[newtothisriver]

I just want to start off by saying I'm not interested in hearing how people wouldn't dream of charging their adult DC to live at home. I'm purely interested in how much those who do pay, pay. Don't mean to be rude but it makes the reading of replies much easier for me.

Next year DS turns 18, he will be living at home and either going to uni or HNC at college, so either way he will get student funding. He also has a part time job.

ATM he is still in school and I get tax credits, out income is low because DH is disabled and can no longer work.

If life was different I wouldn't charge DS a penny, but the truth is the tax credits will drop massively, his sibling is 2 years behind in school so potentially a couple of years down the line I will have 2 adult DC at home and no tax credits/ child benefit.

Right, so those are my reasons. I will need to charge the DC's something to live at home, but I don't know what's a fair amount?

I can't really do the percentage of income thing as income will be variable so I would prefer a set amount.

I was thinking £25 a week, but tbh I don't know if I can afford to support another adult in the house for £25.

I don't want my DC to feel that I am taking too much, but I don't want to be on the breadline that we are already so close to.

What do low income families take from their DC?

Depends upon how much money your ds will be getting when at uni/college. As a general rule my dm took 1/3 of my wage and we did similar to ds1.

I can give you figures of what I earned as a youngster and what I paid to live at home? I was earning about £1100 and gave mum £250

How much tax credits will you lose? Could your DC make up the difference so you are no worse off as a family?

I don't have personal experience to offer, but if you literally cannot afford to support another adult in the house for £25 a week, then you've no choice but to take more have you? So it isn't going to work. How much do you think he will cost, and roughly how much money is he likely to get?

Also i dont think £25 is too much if anything not enough. £25 wouldnt even cover the food ds1 ate. The minimum he ever paid was £50.

How much tax credits will you lose? Could your DC make up the difference so you are no worse off as a family?

I wouldn't expect them to pay that much.

I don't think the kids should be made to make up the tax credits, that's an arbitrary figure that is out of their control.

I would say £25 plus they buy their own toiletries, travel and contribute to food

Depends upon how much money your ds will be getting when at uni/college. As a general rule my dm took 1/3 of my wage and we did similar to ds1.

We won't know until next year, it depends what they will qualify for bursary wise and if the job is giving decent hours for working term time. That's why i prefer a set fare so to speak. A percentage could leave the house really short some weeks.

Actually i just remembered I paid my mum £25 a week (it was 1/3 of my wage) when i first left school and got a job and that was over 20 years ago!

can give you figures of what I earned as a youngster and what I paid to live at home? I was earning about £1100 and gave mum £250

Did you feel this was fair?

I wonder if I could ask for £50 a week

I always had to pay board when I lived at home and was working! £25 seems low - think about all the things you have to pay for - rent/mortgage/council tax/utilities etc, will you still be paying for all food, doing laundry etc? Then sit down with him and see how much he will be receiving, and then you need to work out a suitable amount between you.

if you literally cannot afford to support another adult in the house for £25 a week, then you've no choice but to take more have you?

It would be at my expense really. I would be more frugal rather than charge them more if I had to.

So it isn't going to work. How much do you think he will cost, and roughly how much money is he likely to get?

No idea what he will get, the bursary is done according to income (mine is variable) and we don't can't guarantee he will get decent shifts so far down the line.

It's so hard, I just want to get this in place as a thing so it's something the kids know will be happening

if your ds is doing an hnc or uni will it not be a student loan he gets? (im in scotland so aware there are differences). You would be able to work out in advance roughly how much he is likely to get and go from there. Isnt it approx £5000 a year they get for living expenses? Most students need to get a job as well to pay their living expenses on top of a student loan and I dont see how it would be different just because he is still staying at home. Plus dsil was about £100/week for her student accomodation plus her food so anything less than that is probably a fair price.

I'd say a quarter to a third of his income is the right ball park. Plus he needs to save some money too. Even if he's on a fairly low income he's likely to have more fun money as a young working adult living with his parents than he ever will do in his life unless he ends up with a very well paid job.

There are deductions made from housing benefit made for non dependants. This might not apply to you if your DH gets disability benefits or you don't get housing benefit, but the amounts listed may help you come to a decision about an appropriate contribution.

england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/housing_benefit/housing_benefit_deductions_when_living_with_non-dependants

Sorry, I have no idea how much op would get from tax credits.

You seem to have a fair idea of what you will need to run the house. More than £25, less than the tax credit amount, some have suggested a percentage of 1/3, but this would leave you short some weeks, so it needs to be more than that.

If you're already close to the breadline, I'm not sure what more you can do except ask your adult DC to contribute more, you say you don't want to, but you can't afford not to.

if your ds is doing an hnc or uni will it not be a student loan he gets?

Also in Scotland. It's a loan plus bursary payment.

Thanks barbara

No benefits other than tax credits and child benefit.

you say you don't want to, but you can't afford not to.

Oh no I will, I don't want to do it but I definitely will. I have been thinking £50 but I think £200 a month is a lot

I’m in the same boat. Have read some old threads on here which were a mix of people saying “why would you charge your own child to live at home” (erm... because they have more disposable income than I do!! And as an adult earning a full time wage, they should be paying their way!) and most others said 1/3 of their income to save, 1/3 to spend and 1/3 to you.

I’m currently arguing with DS about this as I’ve asked him for £200 a month (as a minimum) from his £800+ a month wage. (He turned down a better paying job because they wanted him to trim his beard ). I’ve lost more than that in tax credits, child benefit, council tax relief etc so it still doesn’t put me back where I was.

I can’t expect him to totally make up for what I’ve lost, but I do think it’s fair for him to contribute something. Annoyingly his dad has apparently said that he wouldn’t charge him anything if he still lived here (easy to say when you’re on £55k a year and only having to look after 3 DCs one day a week!) so DS blames me for being on a low income, for getting divorced in the first place, and indeed for him being born!! (Wish I was joking!)

He complains that he already buys his own food (Dominos etc by choice as he doesn’t want whatever I’ve cooked for him) and his own clothes (as he wants expensive designer stuff, not the Primark stuff I buy for myself and the other DCs). I’ve offered for him to move out and see how much it costs him to live elsewhere, but strangely he’s not up for that! So it’s £200 a month or bugger off as far as in concerned.

actually even just a loan worked out over term time is just over £100 a week. So bursary and job will bump that up. Maybe £50 isn't that bad :/

£200 a month may sound like a lot, but it's probably a huge amount cheaper than a room in a shared house, which is what it is effectively buying him.

Plus he would have to buy food and pay bills on top of that and presumably if he gives you £200 a month, you will provide everything, except perhaps his transport, phone and food and drink out the house?

If your income is low, don't fall into the trap of being on the breadline yourself, while he has loads of money to spend on all sorts of luxuries. For your family situation he needs to make a fair contribution.

My son earns £40-£60 a day 5 days a week ( doesn't work weekends so doesn't get paid ) ...I charge him £35 a week

I think £50 a week is fair enough. I didn't pay my parents a set amount a week, me and my sibling used to split all the bills between us instead plus helped with food bills.

Our son is 21 and graduated in the Summer. He’s taking a year off studying before going back to do his teaching qualifications so is working and earning around £900 per month.
He seems to think we’re ripping him off by asking for £50 board a month. I actually think we’re being ripped off but DH negotiated that sum.

I think his reason for thinking he’s paying too much is that his girlfriend isn’t paying anything now that she’s back at home. I know that my Goddaughter isn’t paying her parents anything either despite her working full time.

Work out what he costs you and go from there?

So the cost of his share of food and any extra council tax. Will him being at home or not affect any of your other bills? If so, factor that in. Would you get a lodger if he moved out? If so, factor that in.