What do you do to make your child feel loved?

[Glossymare]

I mean, the extras, on top of the obvious essentials.
I read on a thread the other day how a poster felt envious of a childhood friend, whose mum has warmed up her coat on a radiator. The poster said how her own mum would never have done that for her.
It got me thinking about any extra things I do to show my own children how much I love them. In the winter months, I sometimes warm their towels in the tumble drier for a few minutes before wrapping them in them as they get out their bath/shower. When I’m at the shops I sometimes pick up little treats which I know they’ll like, as a surprise. I have affectionate nicknames for my children. Every night at bedtime, I lie on each of their beds for 5 minutes or so, just to have a chat.
Then, a more personal one. I don’t really drink. Or rather, I don’t get drunk in front of them. My mum was an alcoholic and her drinking really frightened me. I used to lie awake at night shaking, hearing the music getting louder and her slurring away to herself. I didn’t feel unloved, but certainly not a priority. I couldn’t understand why she was so unhappy and would choose her booze despite knowing how scared it made me and what it turned her into. I swore my children wouldn’t go through that. So, my children fall asleep to the sounds of me and dh boringly chatting away over cups of tea
What extra things do you do to show your children you love them?

I send them chocolate at university. Even though they have shops right where they live and it costs me loads in postage

If my daughter is working late I will put a hot water bottle with her pyjamas on top of it under her duvet. I sometimes pick up my oldest sons ( doesnt live at home) favourite cake up when Im doing the food shop and drop it round.

I put their school shirts over the radiator on cold mornings so they are warm to put on.
I make them cocoa and run baths for them if they get in from school or training on a cold, wet day.
If they've been away from home I always make their favourite dinner the night they return.
I get up early at weekends to make pancake batter so when they come down to breakfast, they get a treat.
They are teens now, so supposed to clean their own rooms, sort out their own kit etc but sometimes I do it for them as a surprise (not often, but when I can see they are getting stressed or feeling overworked.)

Mine are still small so lots of random hugs and kisses. Especially when they're a bit cranky or after they've been naughty.

I also try to actively listen to what they have to say. I grew up in a bit of a 'children should be seen not heard' household so always felt a bit unimportant.

I put their pyjamas on the radiator when they are in the bath so they are warm to get into after. We all get into my bed for a story and a chat about our day and we have group hugs.
I also talk to them about how lucky we are to love and to be loved.

One of my sons loves the smell of lavender so I put lavender oil on his pillow
I tumble dry their already dry towels just before they get of the bath and have the fire roaring ready for them

Sometimes I make a sponge ready for when they are home from school

I always look so animated and happy when they talk to me even though what they are saying may bore the pants off me (it usually does)

I buy them a treat when I go shopping

My youngest likes me to play with his hair when we are sat together watching a film

I especially love my youngest saying so sincerely thanks mum -it's lovely

Loads of hugs and kisses and telling him I love him (probably gets on his nerves).
I spend all my time with him.
I always make sure he’s warm and cosy.
I sit in his room for 15 mins at bedtime as he gets anxious about going to sleep.

Yeah i do the radiator thing too, i did it for one of their friends once - they were just confused!!

I love the idea of sending them chocolate at uni, I am stealing that for when the time comes.

I am mainly place marking with my post

When he wakes up DS (3) comes in to our bed for a "snuggle five minutes" even if me and DH are already up and dressed we still get back in to bed and he tells us if he had any dreams and then he asks what we're doing that day. Then when we get home we always have ten minutes on the couch where we talk about our day. We also have at least two nights a week without tv or phones where we'll either play games with DS or just play with whatever he likes.

I don't work Mondays so we have a day with just us and DH works from home so manages to take every Thursday afternoon off and pick up DS from nursery to have an afternoon with just them. Sometimes our days or afternoon will be us going somewhere special but usually it's just the park or a play in the garden, painting or den making or a favourite film on the couch with blankets and treats.

Love this thread.

I always make a big thing out of plumping up their pillows for them (ages 5 & 7). They sometimes do it for me now so I guess they understand what I mean by it

I write little notes for him saying I love him and miss him sometimes if I've gone to work before he is awake

I like making his fave meals and desserts

I might steal the warming towels/ pjs one

I think he knows he is loved and v secure!

I still love the smell of my mums washing and I'm nearly 42!

Well mine are 18 and 25 now. We're a family that never had any issue with giving lots of hugs and telling each other how much we love and care for each other.
Yes all the little things obviously show we love them but for me it's always been more about how much time we spend with them, reading to them when they were little, taking them to their activities, standing on the sideline in awful weather, going to all the P/T meetings, having movie days, being there for them when they have breakups, cooking favourite dinners, driving for hours to take/pick them up from university helping with homework, essays, uni/job applications. Encouraging them to move out of their comfort zones and supporting them fail or shine.
It doesn't end once they are grown up. I miss them when they're not home to give them those big squeezy hugs.

Lovely thread

I make them hot chocolate and warm their undies and pjs on the radiator on cold days

Always make sure the bottom draw of the freezer is full of ice pops and lollies in the summer

I stop what I’m doing and look at them when they’re speaking to me (sounds random but I see a lot of parents ‘mmhmm’ing their kids nattering while they’re still looking at their phone or doing something else)

They always pick the music in the car and we sing
Loudly

I tell them I love them and give them genuine compliments as much as I can (you’re so good at X, you’re so helpful, you’re very funny, such a good big brother etc)

Go to everything at school (I realise I’m very lucky to be able to do this)

They each get uninterrupted 1:1 snuggle and chat time every day, usually at bedtime

Sometimes I’ll give one treats and make them think it’s just for them and their sibling hasn’t had any to make them feel special (they all get it but run off giggling thinking it’s something just between me and them)

Sometimes I’ll tidy their room for them when they’re at school on bedroom tidying day

I make the older ones little ‘spa baths’ with spa music, a bath bomb and bubbles, a little drink in a plastic champagne glass and a little chocolate

I try to spend some time actively playing with them each day even if it’s only 15 minutes or so

We have a lot going on and a lot of children (4) but I really really hope that each one knows they’re special and loved and aren’t just ‘one of the kids’

I’ve thought of another one - I wake them up nicely in a morning with a stroke and a kiss on the head and say “good morning” while I open their blinds - DP tends to just holler up the stairs at them to get up and i just think it’s such a harsh way to be woken, does my head in!

When my daughter (5) wakes up she goes straight to her desk to draw or write. I sometimes write her a little note before I go to bed for her to read first thing, telling her how much I love her and that today is going to be a happy day.

Going to steal the spa bath idea!
Before my eldest ds goes on residential trips I always ask him what he’d like for dinner the night of his return always a blinking pork roast which I’ll cook

Strike through fail there

I warm towels & pjs up for after a bath.

When I make their beds I replace all their cuddly toys (in a particular order for ds1) I sometimes tuck their toys in too :)

I go to EVERYTHING at school (very lucky to be able to do this)

I make 3 different packed lunches every night as they all like different things.

I run them around to different clubs even though it's a logistical nightmare!

I read to youngest ds every night. Slightly older ds & dd usually prefer reading to themselves but if they ever ask for me to read to them I do.

A little thing I try to do is to take pictures of them individually or with just me or dh with them. I think it'll be nice especially when they're older to make up a photobook all about them to not have siblings in every photo. A friend of mine is 1 of 5 kids & she said once she wishes she had some photos or just her & just her & parents etc. I thought she had a good point & with 3 dc close in age I try to consider that.

That’s made the hairs on my arms stand up. How awful

My above comment was to @NottonightJosepheen

Great idea @JurassicGirl about having photos now and again without the siblings. That hadn’t ever crossed my mind before.

Take them out for walks - they often complain about going, but I have a book of 'adventure walks for kids' and they've usually enjoyed them, and we have a special time together.

Sometimes we invite them into our bed for a morning cuddle at the weekend.

Apologise to them if we got too angry, or angry with them for the wrong reason

Every now and then I put a little vase of flowers in my 5 year old’s bedroom. If I’m picking her up from school without little bro in tow I sneak her a sweetie for the way home. I always ask about her day, what she ate, who she played with, what she learnt.

We have dinner as a family round the table every night.

My 2 year old doesn’t need anything g in particular right now but plenty of hugs and kisses. And when he asks me to play with him or sit with him I always do. The jobs will keep.

Ds 1 I take to footy and watch ( often do the interchange/ keep score ) . Drive him to various activities ( he’s a scout and also army cadets, so always bloody busy😂😂) . He gets choice of food after camps.
Ds2 loves going to the airport to watch the planes . He has a good camera. When we get home he shows me the pictures and videos he did. This is truely love as its batshit boring 😂 however some of the geeks are good looking 😂

I still wake them up gently and ask what they want for breakfast, then make it for them while they get an extra 15 mins lie in. They are in their late teens now.