Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Please help. Not coping with baby.

42 replies

Upsetmummy27 · 15/11/2018 19:44

She cries all the time and wants to feed constantly. When I pick her up my 2 year old cries to sit on my knee and doesn’t understand I have to feed the baby. He is very clingy right now. If I put her down she starts crying straight away. I can’t feed her constantly. I’m worn out. I can’t get a decent meal or a decent nights sleep. I haven’t eaten 3 meals a day since before she was born. I seem to burst into tears at the drop of a hat. I know it will get better but right now I can’t see how to manage another day without falling apart let alone possible weeks of this.

OP posts:
JimmyJones · 15/11/2018 19:46

Hello lovely. That sounds really rough. How old is your baby? Do you have a partner or other support nearby? Flowers

SnartyFartBlast · 15/11/2018 19:49

I’m so sorry to hear this. Do you have anyone who can help? You really don’t have to do this on your own. Flowers

Mrswalliams1 · 15/11/2018 19:49

It sounds really tough. How old is your baby? Do you have someone to help?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Families
Mumof1andacat · 15/11/2018 19:50

Do you have a health visitor?

SorenLorensonsInvisibleFriend · 15/11/2018 19:51

Oh, I have such a strong memory of this. My son was two years, three months when my daughter was born and it was.. so hard. I remember picking him up from nursery and saying, "I like Tuesdays because I know the next time I'll pick him up will be Thursday and that's almost the weekend" and one of the staff said, "talk about wishing the days away"... yes, yes, I was!!

But it gets better. I promise. Every day the little baby is growing stronger. And your little two year old grows and adapts in the same way you had to when they were first born. It's a weird, stretching, painful time but.. it will work out. And you'll one day have a wonderful moment where you realise you're not just paddling as crazy as... to just keep up. You're actually able to breathe and enjoy it.

It might be an idea to seek help from people as much as you can - I needed nursery for my son, and even had a Mother's Help for a few hours, which was a Godsend. She just took some of the weight of it all, and made it fun for him while I was a dazed, sleep deprived mess. Hang on in there x

anonkneemouse · 15/11/2018 19:51

You sound fed up and exhausted.

Can you ask for help from friends and family? Discuss your feelings with HV and see what advice she can offer too maybe?

You could have PND or you could just be in need of a good rest, either way a chat with HV or GP might help.

calpop · 15/11/2018 19:51

We've all experienced this. It will get better. For now can you ask someone to help and give you a break?

AtrociousCircumstance · 15/11/2018 19:52

I’ve been there - you don’t think it’s ever going to get better. But it does, before you know it. Hang in there 💗

SorenLorensonsInvisibleFriend · 15/11/2018 19:53

If you're nearby, I'll do baby cuddling or two year old entertaining, honestly. Just find someone for two hours a week and that little slice of time is enough to lift the pressure a bit. I'm not far from Brighton.

ISeeTheLight · 15/11/2018 19:53

How old is baby? Does he/she seem in pain? Is it all the time or are there better/worse moments? What about during the night? Any other symptoms?

I ask because DD has CMPA (cow's milk protein allergy) and it was utter hell until she got diagnosed at 5 months - never slept more than 40min at a time during the night (and that was on her side cosleeping), rarely napped, wanted holding all the time, kept pulling her legs up from pain in tummy, etc.
I believe that healthy babies who aren't in pain don't cry all the time, so I'd go see your GP.
Good luck op Flowers

Original poster
Upsetmummy27 · 15/11/2018 19:56

Hello everyone. She is 6 weeks now. I do have some help but because I don’t live with her dad no one is around all the time. I don’t seem to feel any connection to my baby. I’m literally going through the motions with her, trying to make sure she is clean and fed etc, but I feel detached and like I am looking after someone else’s baby. Is that normal at this stage?
I’m seeing my health visitor Monday. Can they help with this sort of thing?

OP posts:
MrsCar · 15/11/2018 19:57

That brings back memories Flowers

My biggest regret is that I didn't ask someone, anyone to help.

Do you have anyone?

If it's any consolation, my life got easier at around 6 months, when I could put baby sitting in a high chair and they could sit in it watching me and their siblings

Original poster
Upsetmummy27 · 15/11/2018 19:59

I was planning to take her to our immediate access clinic tomorrow as my sister has suggested she may have reflux. She has very violent hiccups, lots of wind and projectile vomits soaking everything in the vicinity. I’m hopeful that if they agree she has reflux they may prescribe something that will help her and ease the crying.

OP posts:
SnartyFartBlast · 15/11/2018 19:59

I’m so sorry to hear this. If you can get help from family or a friend please do. You don’t have to struggle alone. Big hugs Flowers

ZaphodBeeblerox · 15/11/2018 20:00

Sorry OP. How old is the baby? Do you have some support?

Hang in there, it does get better. Is there anyone who can watch the 2 year old for a bit to give you a break?

Flatwhite32 · 15/11/2018 20:02

@Upsetmummy27 You poor thing. I only have one child (16 week old DD), but the early days are hard. My DD has CMPA and reflux, and weeks 5-8 with her were hell, as the CMPA reactions were at their absolute worst. Don't let them fob you off with Infant Gaviscon for reflux. It often doesn't work. My DD was prescribed ranitidine, and it has worked really well. I also removed dairy from my diet. She's like a different baby now!

ladybirdsarelovely33 · 15/11/2018 20:05

This is a tough time for you and I can relate. Its good that you are recognising that you do not feel fine. I think it would be good to speak to a GP as it does sound like PND too.

Realitea · 15/11/2018 20:05

It does sound like pnd to me. I felt exactly the same with my ds who was constantly sick. I was on my own with him and it was so hard I just felt the lowest I’d ever felt, I couldn’t see a way out and I felt very detached from him.
My hv wasn’t any use either. But that was 18 years ago. It just gradually got easier and easier and now he’s a young man and we have so many laughs together now. It does get better!
Talk to your health visitor, GP, talk to whoever you can, don’t stop until you get the help you need at the moment. I think the bottom line is, you’re just exhausted and really need your basic things back like a sleep and meals! They’ll come eventually.

peanut2017 · 15/11/2018 20:06

Feel your pain. Have a nearly 4 month old and a 19 month old and it's so tough. Had a good day today. It's bloody hard work so don't think you are alone

No advice really as others have already mentioned about asking for help.

Just know you are not alone 

WineIsMyCarb · 15/11/2018 20:10

Sorry you're having such a hard time OP. What you are doing is the hardest job in the world and you are in the worst slog of it.
I can't come and take both children for a week while you sleep and eat a balanced meal, but I can suggest you let your 2yo eat loads of chocolate, watch videos on your phone and make a terrible mess (or whatever is usually banned / very limited) as it really does get easier. Like, a totally different kettle of fish. My LOs are nearly 3 and nearly 1 now and I'm back at work. I drink hot tea and they play nicely on the mat in the lounge on Mummy-day/weekend mornings.
Flowers

ISeeTheLight · 15/11/2018 20:14

Sounds a lot like CMPA symptoms (wind) combined with reflux, my DD had very similar symptoms. Please go see your GP, if you're breastfeeding you'll need to do a dairy free trial (check everything you eat), or GP can prescribe special formulas (eg neocate). It's extremely hard, I'm sure I had PND because it was so, so hard to cope with. Don't let GO brush it off as it's all in your head though, I had to go back every week for 6/4 months before they believed me.
There's also a support group on Facebook, parents there are very helpful and you feel less alone. (Main group - CMPA support)

mossyroundhill · 15/11/2018 20:17

I'm so sorry, OP. I remember when my daughter was that age, I posted on here under a different name saying I was close to leaving her with my neighbour and just walking out of the house. It is so, so hard.

Would your baby be happy in a swing or a bouncer? You can get really cheap ones off ebay, I have a 4 month old son now and a swing saved my sanity in the first few weeks. Will she take a dummy? The health visitor will be able to pop over so you can get a shower or some food. Be kind to yourself Flowers

If you want to share whereabouts you are I see other posters are offering help; I'd be happy to help out and I'm sure DD would be happy to entertain your DS :)

Original poster
Upsetmummy27 · 15/11/2018 20:18

Oh that really does sound lovely wineismycarb. I am looking forward to that stage. I think I was spoiled with how easy my son was in comparison and it has come as a big shock finding it so hard this time round.
I will try to get ranitidine for her as it seems infant gaviscon needs mixing with milk and ranitidine doesn’t. Breastfeeding might make giving gaviscon a challenge in that case.
Thank you so much for all the replies. They are all much appreciated.

OP posts:
Cleo2628 · 15/11/2018 20:19

I second CMPA, my 1yo has it and it was hell on earth before we found out what was causing all her crying. Have you got a baby sling? Work out how to breastfeed in that and you’re onto a winner. Oh and co sleeping saved me x

Flatwhite32 · 15/11/2018 20:24

@ISeeTheLight it is SO hard isn't it. I was on the verge of PND when my DD's symptoms were at their worst. The no dairy hasn't been easy. I have lost quite a bit of weight and am now underweight, but it has made such a difference to my DD. She's so much happier!

Swipe left for the next trending thread