Have you ever called the Samaritans?

[MonteStory]

Just that really. Were they helpful? If you are happy to explain, can you tell what made you call?

I did. Had horrific postnatal depression and was in a series of panic attacks. I felt like the only way to escape the panic was possibly suicide but in the dead of night, I just needed to break the cycle of panic and I thought calling might help. It didn’t. The woman who answered just said hello and was expecting me to talk. I suddenly felt ridiculous for calling, like I had bothered her and hung up. I would have preferred if she’d picked up the phone and given a little bit of info about the Samaritans, as an ice breaker. I’m sure they are great for many, but didn’t work for me.

Don’t want to put you off though if you need them OP. It was probably just my frame of mind. Hope you’re ok.

There was another thread like this recently so maybe look it up if you don’t get many responses here.

I did and they were awful, I was very suicidal, lost and confused. The person who took my call couldn’t get me off the phone fast enough, they trivialised my problems and told me to go to sleep.

Fortunately my DH heard me on the phone and got me help.

Gosh these responses arent what I was expecting but obviously very useful to know. I'm sorry they weren't helpful to you both.

I called them after my Mum died and I wasn't coping with my grief. They were useless. Disinterested. Dispassionate. I wouldn't ring them again.

Like other pp I rang them at a really bad point in my life and the call was just so cold and bleugh felt like they were just trying to get me off the phone, wouldn't ring them again, it made me feel worse.

Yes. They were not helpful.

Nope. Wouldn't bother

Yeah, I got through to an older bloke who didn't have a clue.

I had better experiences than the above. I rang them a couple of times when in a state about miserable family problems and they just listened and I never felt rushed to get off the phone.

30 odd years ago; explained to the man on the other end why I was so desperate and he said something like 'I would kill myself too' or words to that effect.
Often wish MN had been around, I think I would have got more sympathetic and practicle advice.

I have rung and also texted... They cannot give advice, or even an opinion so it seems. Whilst it felt good to get things off my chest, it was frustrating to get "Hmmm... So how does that make you feel" or similar responses.

Just to add, I was in relationship that was physically, emotionally and financially abusive with no way out - or so I thought. Although I didn't know it at the time I was quite unwell also, turned out to be MS. So a grim time but turned it all around now.

Sad to hear others had not so good experiences too. I phoned because at a low point I was feeling very panicky and upset and couldn't calm down, probably a panic attack. She just told me to breathe which is fine but that is all she kept saying even after I had gone from panicking to calming down then being angry at their lack of anything else. Not sure what I expected of them, maybe someone to talk to about why I was feeling like I did?

People have too high an expectations of the Samaritans. They are not counsellors or psychiatrists, and cannot suggest actions. They're volunteers. They're there to listen and perhaps encourage you to think of your own directions to go, but really can't do a lot else.

www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us/what-happens-when-you-contact-us

Yes, my expectations were too high when I was feeling suicidal and hoped to not be told I was being silly and should go to bed

Yes I called once, and I felt rushed off the phone too! Thought it was the only one

I don't think my expectations were too high, if your ringing up and feeling suicidal someone making you feel like a burden by hurrying it along to end the call isn't going to help you in anyway.

Gosh I’m horrified to read your experiences. I was a volunteer for quite a while about 15 years ago, and as ljjk says, they can’t advise, they aren’t qualified counsellors (although are supposed to do extensive training), they are just there to listen.
One of the first things I learned was never to answer the phone with “hello”. Obviously the quality of volunteers will always be variable, and certainly the second branch I was at had a higher turnover (university city) which meant lots of people had less experience and often less life knowledge than would be desirable.
Sometimes the sheer volumes of nuisance calls and sex calls could leave you quite jaded, but I’m really sad to read so many volunteers have let it affect their approach to calls so much 🙁

I have called them twice. The first time they were disinterested and rubbish. The second time, although I got lots and hmmms I felt better afterwards as I got it all out. One a completely different note (but relevant for me) the Rape Crisis Helpline is AMAZING.

I did years ago and spoke to very kind and calm lady who made me feel like I had all the time in world. She could not have been more patient and reassuring she helped me when I was in a very dark place that day.

Why do people always tell you to just breathe when you're having an anxiety attack? I mean, getting control of the breathing may ultimately help, but by the time you're panicking, it's not usually possible to do that. It's a totally meaningless phrase and usually said by the helper to make them feel as though they're doing something to help.

I've had a couple of very bad patches in my life and have used them. Only for the experience to put me off phoning ever again.

It has been humiliating to open up about deep, hurtful stuff up just to be told to join a club or go and/or have a cup of tea. One man was rude and critical of a situation I was explaining [not very well it seemed], made me feel 100 times worse and I was already extremely distressed. I felt like reporting him he was that bad. But I didn't. I was at rock bottom, could hardly function and everything was pointless.

I had a lovely lady once who did not make me feel as if I had to get off the phone. Sadly she was the exception. If anyone is expecting any constructive advice/points of view/coping strategies I'm afraid you won't get it.

I felt my pain/the situation and my history was trivialised just because I was eloquent. I would just use it to hear my own voice coming back to me, to vent...and for that it did help and was useful to a point. And to be told I could phone back, that they were on the end of the phone calmed me a little. That's all.

If anyone is expecting any constructive advice/points of view/coping strategies I'm afraid you won't get it

From what I know of the organisation. They will not give advice, they will not judge, they are not trained counsellors or therapists.

They are volunteers who give up their time freely to help people who want to talk about their problems.

See below for the number of calls they are dealing with. This does not cover the outreach programmes they do or the help they deliver at major disasters.

www.samaritans.org/news/calls-samaritans-reach-record-high

I haven’t, but I do know several ex-volunteers. Without exception they all stopped because the majority of their calls were sex calls or pranks. It’s a huge shame, and maybe means that the kind, really empathetic people who should be best suited to be samaritans volunteers are also less likely to stay long-term.