DB dropping hints regarding money WWYD?

[twiglet]

Myself and by DB are polar opposites I believe if you want something then you save he has always had the attitude of I deserve it regardless and is generally terrible with money etc.

He has 4DCs both him and my SIL work but would probably be lowish income family (but live rent free due to being left a house).

I've had 3 phone calls in as many weeks initially it starts asking how I am and how my pregnancy is going. As soon as I ask how things are there is a massive hint dropped so far it has been final reminder on electricity bill, the fridge broke and yesterday's call was my nephew managed to smash the TV at the weekend (kicked a ball).

He then says this is the last thing he needs before Xmas etc. I know he is hinting for me to offer the money (he knows I have a good job). So far I have avoided doing so by saying oh dear, have you tried free cycle/gumtree or speak to the company for a payment plan etc.

I could afford to sort it for him and part of me feels guilty as its also my nieces and nephews but I also know he has form. He would never pay me back and owes my parents in the region of 30k over the last 15 years from them bailing him out.
With a baby due in February and renovation work ongoing in our house I really don't want to offer it and my DH says not our problem that he's rubbish with money.

But my WWYD is in regard to the hints and do I just come out and say your just going to have to deal with it? We live 500 miles apart so thankfully it's only on the phone!

Sorry for the essay didn't want to drop feed.

Perhaps they could tell him this then he won't be 'worrying' about repaying the loan just now when times continue to be hard.....

I think that’s a very good idea.

What would your parents say if they knew he was ringing you hinting for cash?

I’d be tempted to tell them. I’d also speak to SIL and say, ‘oh no-DB was telling me all about x, y, z-how awful!’ etc in the hope she’d tell her DH to stop moaning to you.

Ignore. He has already had part of your inheritance as your parents won’t get back what he owes them. Don’t give him any more.

Remind yourself that giving him money isn't actually helping him (and it is a gift, he'll never pay it back). Throwing money at this problem won't solve it, only he can do that.
If you want to help, offer to go through his finances with him, and look into the debt charities and what they can do to help. Ask if he needs help to make a budget. He will almost certainly react as if you stamped on his puppy, but this is the sort of help he actually needs.

@Holidayshopping spoke to my parents this evening not related but brought up the conversation I'd had....... They bought him a fridge freezer as "his Xmas present" at the weekend

I think I'm very used to things being unequal now, I'm an adult (technically so is DB at 35....) so not going to say anything about it when I receive a scarf!

@Bluetrews25 I get the suggestion but even if my parents did that and explained it I know full well he would kick off both now and when a will would be required (hopefully not for a long time they are early 60's).

The more I think about it the more I realise just how much he is a CF and how many more examples of things he has done over the years!

I definitely like living so far away so I don't have to regularly deal with his behaviour!