My 8 week old will not sleep by herself

[Kierajay96]

Any tips on how to get my 8 week old to settle by herself? At the moment she will only get to sleep if she’s being cuddled and once she’s put down she’s wide awake again and usually crying.
We’ve tried swaddling, the bouncer chairs, putting my arm in her next to me so that she can still feel me there. Running out of ideas and I’m struggling to keep up with house work & getting some time for myself.. HELP

Mine was like this! This that worked ... a bit.... holding her for about 20 mins before putting her down until she was deeply asleep. Warming the Moses basket with a hot water bottle ( obvs removing it before placing sleeping baby in) .
By the time she was about 3nmonths however, I’d lost the will to live and threw DP out the spare room and followed safe co sleeping guidelines. We both slept well then but it is not for everyone!

She is 8 weeks old! Just cuddle your baby because before you know it she won’t be so little anymore!

I'm sorry but my response is - 8 week old babies do not naturally want to sleep by themselves! She is a very clever baby who is doing what she can to stay close to her mum. My ds would only sleep on me for the first 3 months, including overnight. I'm not saying it's a 'good thing' or the 'right thing', I'm just saying it is the natural thing that your baby wants. My dd wasnt as bad but every baby is different.

Have a look T The No Cry Sleep Solution by E. Pantly.

Cuddle your baby, screw the housework!

OP she is only 8 weeks old, very tiny and too young to be left to 'sleep by herself'......

Feel like there’s so much pressure from the health visitor to get baby to settle by herself and sleep on her own that I felt like I was doing something wrong but clearly by reading the comments it seems pretty normal! Thank you all x

Yes 8 week olds aren’t meant to sleep by themselves!

So very normal.

Errr, she’s 8 weeks??! cuddle her and enjoy it

Tell the HV to do one 😂

Totally normal! How odd that your health visitor is suggesting she learns to settle herself - she's a tiny baby, designed to be in your arms! Try to enjoy this precious time with her because even though it's knackering, it's very fleeting.

Enjoy the cuddles! I did virtually no housework for months, only cooking and some washing up, I just wanted to cuddle and do lots of skin to skin at that age (plus, during the day she would also wake up when put in the Moses basket!)
Does your baby sleep in the pram? Maybe go for a walk for some head clearing time x

Currently co sleeping with my 6 week old - same! This is my second though so I am not stressing about it because I know how quickly it passes. Enjoy the cuddles when you can but to give yourself some freedom to make a sandwich or do anything that requires two hands just get a baby carrier.

Have never met a self setting small baby so just allow yourself to know it's normal and don't worry about the 'shoulds' from anyone x

Same here with my 9 week old. I use a sling for in the day to get stuff done. At night he sleeps on me. Not ideal from a SIDS point of view but I can’t get him to sleep anywhere else! It will get better with time, I hope! Best of luck - let me know if you do find anything that works!

Mine never slept without us at that age. You're expecting too much.

DD has always slept in her cot and she's now 12 weeks. We always place her in her cot when she's sleepy and give her 10mins to self settle providing she's not crying. If she goes to sleep then great, if she doesn't then we'll help her with cuddles, swaying etc. We always transfer her to the cot when she's asleep so she knows this is her sleep place. I'll use the buggy if we're out. The cuddles are lovely but sometimes you need to eat, pee and have a moment to yourself. Try the little ones sleep programme that you can download online. That has lots of useful info.

Ah black cat - I would love to watch you have a second child and you realise your lo is not that normal!!

Have you tried a stretchy wrap carrier? You can't do everything as they get in your way on your front, but you can do some things as your hands are free. Mine slept for longer in one too.

Ha well most people I know tell me when I choose to have a 2nd I should find it quite easy in comparison. My LO is a very fiesty, bright little girl. In fact when we were in special care she was described as a 'rather challenging first baby'. She knows what she wants and she damn well let's the world know to. However as much as she's a little ball of chatty energy, we as her parents can set boundaries and routines which we did really early. She's thrived with this. She knows when it's bedtime, waking up time and where she sleeps. She's confident because within her capabilities for her age she knows what's happening. I'm sure with a toddler in tow this will be more challenging next time but I'd do it all again because it's giving them the skills they need IMO. It might not be for everyone but hey it worked for us so all I can do is share my experience.

OP have you tried playing some white noise as soon as you put baby in the cot? Loads of apps. Both my DCs sometimes found it soothing and other times just wanted to be back in cuddles. Its still really early days and cuddles now instead of cot doesn't mean that your baby will never sleep alone! I'm saying that now with my 11 week old on top of me in bed while 3 year old is fast asleep in her own bed having been cuddled a lot in her early weeks too.

Oh black cat - she’s been special care. I don’t mean to be upsetting but special care and nicu babies are very different - they are used to not being held 24/7 as they’ve been in Cots and incubators and only come out for short cuddles.

It’s not really a model you’d want to promote - it’s a necessary product of trying to keep them alive.

I'm sorry but i find the insinuation that OP is struggling because she hasnt set boundaries utterly laughable. Baby is 8 weeks. Boundaries dont exist.
OP my 8 week old is asleep on me as we speak. 2 hrs of trying to settle him in the cot - i have given up.

I'm with @blackcat86. Although for us it wasn't a Moses basket, but a sleepyhead. It seemed to give our DD a comfort and she was happy being put their as her sleepy place.