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Original poster

Yesterday I got spoken too like absolute dirt

127 replies

Rowenaravenclawsdiadem · 10/11/2018 12:05

And I really can’t shake it off.

I’m in the service industry but from time to
time I help a friend with her rental flat. An elderly couple arrived last night. It’s a small place so I took them up to the flat. They dumped their bags on me so I carried them in, Put them down and I basically got shouted at for 5 minutes. The room wasn’t what they expected, no lift, there was no food provided in the flat. No PC (what??!) Every time I tried to explain or show them how to use something I got talked over, they accused me of misrepresentation but when I’ve checked everything is as described. It’s not even my place I was just helping out! In the end the woman looked me up and down and said ‘just leave’.

I’m a 40 year old mother of 3 and I just wanted to cry. I’m no stranger to criticism or afraid of it. But I was absolutely taken back. Today I’m still really upset. To be fair some of it might be PMT.

Why are people so fucking rude!

OP posts:
CBA2RTFT · 10/11/2018 14:36

I agree with Bert: a rude person is a rude person regardless of their age. Hmm

Anyway, YANBU to be upset, OP. Horrilbe to be spoken to like that. I'm lucky that I have, as some sort of nervous reaction, a tendency to burst out laughing when people are rude. That usually calms things.

Just feel sorry for them; everyone must hate them.

Original poster
Rowenaravenclawsdiadem · 10/11/2018 14:47

To be honest I’m more shocked at their behaviour because they were slightly older. I was taught to always be respectful towards older people so when the torrent of nastiness came out of her mouth I was actually quite shocked.

If it was someone the same age I think I would have been more equipped to stand up for myself. But my ingrained ‘you have to be nice to the elderly’ left me standing there like a child being yelled at by their grandparents.

OP posts:
wigglybeezer · 10/11/2018 14:57

My DS works in a supermarket, he says the rudest customers are generally the elderly, he comes home quite upset about the horrible way he's been spoken to sometimes. I think anger helps some old people feel alive! It peps them up or something.

teaandtoast · 10/11/2018 15:04

The loudness might be because they've lost some hearing? So your 'shouting' is them speaking loudly enough to hear themselves.

Original poster
Rowenaravenclawsdiadem · 10/11/2018 15:09

I would award them that but I wear a hearing aid myself (although it wasn’t visible).

They were just bloody mean. Anyway, I’m going to have a nice big drink tonight and go out for my tea that will cheer me up.

OP posts:
teaandtoast · 10/11/2018 15:11

WineCake

Chottie · 10/11/2018 15:22

OP - you have my sympathy. So many people are so rude and obnoxious. Age is no excuse.

I agree with PP it is their problem and not yours Flowers

Athena51 · 10/11/2018 15:26

Poor you OP, it sounds horrible. I would have been upset too and I'm made of pretty stern stuff.

Here have some Flowers

VassalageorChaos · 10/11/2018 15:28

Feel sorry for them they're old

I think anger helps some old people feel alive! It peps them up or something

nasty comments on here.

BertrandRussell · 10/11/2018 15:45

That famous Mumsnet ageism coming out again.

blueskiesandforests · 10/11/2018 17:48

Oh come on Bertrand you pounced on an innocuous detail nobody had reacted to and poked it with a stick in the hope you could accuse people of agism.

As I said if the OP had said they were late teens instead of 70s far, far more would have been made of their ages in the responses. As it is nobody commented until you highlighted it as the most important aspect of a post about a lone woman being verbally laid into by a couple for no reason.

BertrandRussell · 10/11/2018 17:51

I think it's outrageous that the OP was treated the way she was. The people were incredibly rude. But it is completely irrelevant how old they were. Arseholes are aresholes whether they are 18 or 80.

DoYouWantABourbon · 10/11/2018 20:16

As I said if the OP had said they were late teens instead of 70s far, far more would have been made of their ages in the responses

Absolutely. I wonder if anyone would complain about that form of ageism.

DoYouWantABourbon · 10/11/2018 20:21

Arseholes are aresholes whether they are 18 or 80.

The OP didn't say they were arseholes because they were in their 70s. I think you are reading too much into an innocuous detail.

CBA2RTFT · 10/11/2018 20:52

I wonder if anyone would complain about that form of ageism (against late teens)

I would. I have 3 young adult children, none of whom were rude arseholes in their late teens; nor were their friends.

blueskiesandforests · 10/11/2018 21:38

Well quite CBA, but if the OP had mentioned that the nasty couple were late teens or early 20s you can bet the words "entitled" and "snowflakes" would have been scattered through responses in abundance...

The OP gives as much relevance in her scene setting to the couple being American as in there 70s, and one later response does run with that - so xenophobia might have been a better perceived prejudice to leap on than the (in this thread) non existent ageism.

Ageism exists, but that doesn't mean that every time scene (the description is of what seems to be a hetrosexual couple picking on a woman on her own - MN hates smug marrieds! Why mention that they were a couple, rude people are rude whatever their relationship status! Why point out the woman was the more vocal rude one - what does her sex matter! Ahha! Sexism! Bloody tourists! Do you hate anyone not like you? Are you phobic about outsiders or foreigners? Why does it matter that it was a holiday flat? Bloody renters!

There were lots of little details in the scene setting, people are story tellers and we set scenes with inconsequential detail to engage our listeners/ readers and relive the experience as part of processing it.

setting refers to age along with other factors there's a need to try to stir some ageism up out of nothing so as to point it out...

blueskiesandforests · 10/11/2018 21:39

*their

EnidButton · 10/11/2018 21:56

I think it's worth saying age and nationality for scene and context setting. Beyond that I don't think it's relevant in this scenario.

Oap Unfortunately when people work in the service industry and retail, customers like this are expected. You'd be amazed how rude and nasty people can be when they're just buying a jumper ffs. Retail/service staff become experts in diplomacy, tongue biting and calm voices. Doesn't make it right but it's not surprising. What's wrong here is it's not your job and it's a private flat. They're obviously expecting something a lot different and would've been tired. BUT no need to be bloody rude and aggressive about it. Contact your friend, tell them you're not getting involved and she'll have to deal with them over the phone.

Don't give it any more thought than that. You did nothing wrong. Some people are just arseholes and take things out on anyone within hearing distance.

When I have pmt I take things much more to heart than I normally would and stew on things sometimes. Flowers

EnidButton · 10/11/2018 21:57

Oh Jesus! I meant OP! Shock Most unfortunate typo ever.

WitchyMcWitchface · 10/11/2018 22:03

If someone is this angry about nothing really, or at least nothing to do with the person they are angry at, then the cause of their anger is usually something else, and can be something which has caused them to feel snubbed or put down and hurt their ego. They take this out on someone else to make them feel better and powerful. So you should ignore this OP as it was nothing to do with you at all and all about her issues.

noraclavicle · 10/11/2018 22:09

It wasn’t ageism for heaven’s sake, merely descriptive.

Babdoc · 10/11/2018 22:16

I never met a rude old person who wasn’t also a rude young person in their day! Nasty people don’t improve with age.
The trouble is, because you weren’t expecting it, you got caught off balance, OP.
I bet you thought of dozens of choice remarks and comebacks you could have made afterwards, but at the time you’re just shocked into silence.
Don’t let the grumpy gits get you down. Report them to your friend and let her block them from future letting. Then forget them, and be glad that your own manners and standards of behaviour, and those of your friends and family, are so much better.

QueenDoria · 10/11/2018 22:20

OP, I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this.
Was the situation exacerbated by them perhaps booking an Air BnB but expecting hotel services?

ManonBlackbeak · 10/11/2018 22:23

No PC?! What is it still 1998 or something?

ginandbearit · 10/11/2018 23:08

I've worked in retail book trade many years ago and had to bite my lip to many an entitled rude fucker ...the joy of having my own shop for a few years was the ability to not tolerate anything remotely snotty from a customer ..I have indeed told a few to fuck off never to return after I've expressed my opinion on their upbringing and total lack of importance to me ..the shock on a persons face when told they are a nobody and how dare they speak to me or anyone like they just did ..wonderful .
Didn't happen often but was v enjoyable when it did .