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Original poster

Parents evening - one or both parents?

49 replies

cjt110 · 06/11/2018 14:29

DH has had a shit day at work and has messaged to say he will stay in with DS tonight whilst I go to parents evening. My mum is due to sit for us tonight. Is it normal to have 2 parents attend parents evening?

It would be easier all round to just go on my own (I have to pick my Mum up and drop her off after as she doesn't drive) but it feels a bit sad too.

OP posts:
overagain · 06/11/2018 14:31

1 parent is the norm here.

SoyDora · 06/11/2018 14:32

Generally a mix of both. Often both parents can’t make it due to working hours/childcare issues etc, that’s just how it is!

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 06/11/2018 14:32

I normally go on my own. At our school it's a mix of 1 or 2 going.

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Original poster
cjt110 · 06/11/2018 14:33

I suppose I'm a bit... Will it appear shit to school if it's just me? I drop off and DH collects.

OP posts:
SoyDora · 06/11/2018 14:34

Why would it appear shit? They know people work and have childcare issues.

HairyToity · 06/11/2018 14:36

I don't think anyone will judge. We've both gone when we have concerns. DH has gone without me when I've had work commitments. Also I've gone on my own previously, save arranging childcare with grandparents.

Gileswithachainsaw · 06/11/2018 14:37

I go on my own..loads do.

They expect one of you to be looking after the kids surely.

Nicknacky · 06/11/2018 14:39

We have done both, but probably more often or not I go myself. I usually only see one parent there.

Original poster
cjt110 · 06/11/2018 14:41

Ok, I will cancel our plans - I thought I was being mean insisting DH went. Easier all round really if just I go.

OP posts:
Original poster
cjt110 · 06/11/2018 14:42

I suppose I don't want them to think DH isn't involved.

OP posts:
Annajohnsdottir · 06/11/2018 14:43

It's only shit if you feel it is. Totally normal otherwise to only have one parent there.

On a side note, as your DS gets older (assuming he's at primary school now?) ask if he'd like you to both go, if that's possible considering work, childcare etc. My dad never went to one of my parents evenings and it always made me sad. He could have gone but just didn't want to because he was lazy and left it to my mum.

Work out what works for your family each time they come up Smile

VladmirsPoutine · 06/11/2018 14:45

One.

Original poster
cjt110 · 06/11/2018 14:45

Annajohnsdottir Good suggestion :-)

I'll go on my own. Far easier. I go home, go to parents evening and come home. Otherwise it's go collect my Mum, go parents evening, get home - settle DS as he'll be upset at Gma leaving, drop mum off and go home.

OP posts:
puppymouse · 06/11/2018 14:45

I hope they don't judge as DH is going to DD's first ever parents' evening tomorrow alone.

I'm away for work which was arranged before the date was communicated to parents. I am annoyed as DH doesn't see things the way I do and I know I'll crave more information than he absorbs or asks.

But I don't have any concerns or valid reasons to pick up with her teachers to ask for more of their time just for me.

Witchend · 06/11/2018 14:47

Mix. If you feel bad, apologise for your dh along the lines of "Mr cjt says he's sorry, he meant to be here, but work has put a spanner in the works."

Usually both me and dh go, but sometimes (especially at primary level when we've had 2-3 a year) it's worked out so only one can go, and now at secondary it's not unusual for one of us (usually me as dh knows his way round the school better than me :D) to have to nip off to pick up one of the dc from an activity so miss some of the subject teachers.

I've rarely had a parents' evening I've learnt anything about my child though.

Original poster
cjt110 · 06/11/2018 14:49

Great, thank you all for reassuring me.

Relief all round for me, my DH and my DM. And I get to miss bedtime Grin

OP posts:
Blobby10 · 06/11/2018 15:37

Once mine left year 4, I always went on my own. it was quicker than taking DH who just waffled on about our other children instead of the one we were seeing the teacher about.

Once they got to high school and secondary school, I still went on my own as it was definitely quicker to do that system solo Grin and you definitely couldn't go over the 5 allotted minutes

A primary teacher friend did say only having one parent at Parents Evenings would flag up a 'lack of parental involvement in education' and trigger a 'keep an eye on this one' at their school but I think/hope she was pulling my leg

Original poster
cjt110 · 06/11/2018 15:51

A primary teacher friend did say only having one parent at Parents Evenings would flag up a 'lack of parental involvement in education' and trigger a 'keep an eye on this one' at their school but I think/hope she was pulling my leg I bloody hope that's not true.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 06/11/2018 15:55

blobby if she wasn’t joking then I think she is an arsehole!

BadBadBeans · 06/11/2018 15:59

@Blobby10 I'm a primary school teacher. That is entirely untrue! She was definitely joking.

Crunchymum · 06/11/2018 16:01

I know several primary school teachers and it's absolute bullshit that they would ever think just one parent going was unusual?

Complete and utter bullcrap.

TowerRingInferno · 06/11/2018 16:08

Dh has only made it to 1 parents evening in 9 years.

Blobby10 · 06/11/2018 16:09

Thanks nicknacky, BadBadBeans and Crunchymum - it was a few years ago now (all mine are at uni/working!) but still good to know that I wasn't on a list!!

LockedOutOfMN · 06/11/2018 16:09

DP goes alone. I'm a teacher and think it's better for him to deal with stuff like this. He is happy to.

Hmmalittlefishy · 06/11/2018 16:12

I've always gone to parents evening on my own while dh watches the dc.
Just worked out that way.
It's a pet annoyance of mine that parents both turn up, take their kids who then proceed to run wild, shouting and ,disturbing everyone. If you have very young dc or those that find it hard to sit and wait (understandbly lots do) then surely one of you stays at home while the other goes

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