Parents evening - one or both parents?

[cjt110]

DH has had a shit day at work and has messaged to say he will stay in with DS tonight whilst I go to parents evening. My mum is due to sit for us tonight. Is it normal to have 2 parents attend parents evening?

It would be easier all round to just go on my own (I have to pick my Mum up and drop her off after as she doesn't drive) but it feels a bit sad too.

It's usually just me because dh is normally at work. Last time he was out of the country. He comes if he can make it but it's normally just me.

Thinking about it, I don't think I've ever seen both parents go to parents evening at my DC's school. It always seems to be just the one....the only time we both went was the first parents evening for our dd who has sn and was in the process of being diagnosed.

Not so much about what other people would think, but if it was my partner I would be fuming he couldn't make the effort for our child.

A mix of both at my sons but we always go together. I do all drop offs and pick ups and deal with anything at the school so I think it's important for my husband to be included in parents evening

As a teacher, I'd be delighted just to get one parent!

Not everyone has childcare in the evening for both parents to come. We certainly don't. I tend to do parents evening but we share drop offs etc.

Ours has always said Bring Your Child so we've tended to go as a 3.

We tend to both go if at all possible, but I don't think it's necessary (it becomes more useful at secondary school age as you have no chance of one person remembering everything).
That said, we always took our DC with us. If we'd not been able to do that, we would have had one parent stay at home and the other go.

In OP's case I don't think it's worth the complicated childcare arrangements for 10 minutes with the teacher.

I'm a teacher and wouldn't think anything of 1 parent turning up. Rarely do both parents come.

1 parent is very usual at DDs school. I wouldn’t bring two of us unless there was a particular problem that needed addressing.

Only seeing one parent isn't unusual, if you NEVER saw the other parent (occasional pickup, school concert, open lesson or another parents evening at some point in the child's school life) it would be a little odd.

As a year 6 teacher I would occasionally get a comment from the previous teacher like 'don't expect to see x's parents, they never come to parents evening'. But never a comment about only one parent coming.

Why on earth wouldn't it be fine to go on your own? All single parents do.

1 parent is good. 2 can often turn into a social event meaning lots of annoyed parents in the queue. I have been to plenty of parents evenings where I’ve been kept waiting too long because mummand dad are both in cracking jokes about something or other (ok, it’s usually the dads) or they feel the need to ask ten thousand questions . No need for more than one parent!

We do our very best to both attend if we can. However DH travels frequently for work and therefore isn’t always in the country.

The teachers have never batted an eyelid.

I have to say though I’d personally find “a bad day at work” a very ooor reason for not attending.

It does depend on what constitutes a bad day though obviously.

I go in my own as DH looks after both kids at it’s usually at dinner/bath/bedtime.
I was a teacher for 10 years and never batted an eyelid at how many parents/carers where there...what’s important is that at least one family member goes

Wow typos! You can tell that I’m a beaten down, knackered ex teacher! It’s all gone to pot!

Secondary we always both went with the child. Primary I did once or twice alone but usually both of us with the child.
I think it’s important the children saw us as equally involved and interested.

Dh has never been to a parents evening. I do them all. I tell him everything when I get home.

One parent attending would not flag up anything - that’s ridiculous. Remember, that many of the teachers at parents’ evening are parents themselves juggling their own childcare issues to stay late after school to hold the meetings. They aren’t judging. To be honest, it’s easier to stick to the 10 minute slot with just one parent attending so they’ll probably be quite happy.

What do you think single parents do?

Do not many schools run a creche during parents evening? Ours did so we all went and DD just went in the creche and waited for us, except on the odd occasion DH's own parents evenings at work clashed with DD's so I went alone. I don't think he judges any solo parents who turned up to see him especially on those nights!

Just done a quick tally, and reckon I must have now been to over 60 Parents' Evenings

(3 dc - 2 now left school, one in 6th form x 1 each for Nursery and 3 each for each yr of Primary, but some of those would have over-lapped) then one per year for secondary per child)

I suspect dh has been to fewer than 10 of those.

No-one ever looked at me like I had 2 heads.

Have been on my own when DH has had work commitments. DH has been in his own when I have (I have a job where I am sometimes calkedvin at short notice).

Mubfruevd dies with both her DH - her son’s step dad of many years and ex -her son’s father.

We do a mix- whoever is available goes.
I find them pretty pointless though tbh, if there was a problem I'd hope to know about it when it arose rather than waiting potentially months for a 5 min slot. It's usually just "X is fine, her work is fine, any questions?" So IME your DH won't be missing much!

Before anyone jumps on me, yes I appreciate that the teachers give up their evening to do it, yes I smile and nod and say thank you to the teacher and tell DD how proud I was to hear all about her time at school.