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Original poster

Do you feel like you've ever been the love of someone's life?

78 replies

Fivehundredchildren · 04/11/2018 20:43

For the record I don't Sad
I don't know if this is the reality of my situation though or if it comes from feeling, not exactly unloved, but definitely not 'fully and completely' loved by my parents. I think I'm having a realisation that maybe I'm not unloved, I'm just shit at spotting and accepting it.
Do you feel like you are, are have been, the absolute love of someone's life?

OP posts:
Birdie69 · 04/11/2018 23:19

Yes, I've been married twice and I'm sure that I was / am the love of their lives. My DH now, tells me that pretty often and his actions bear that out. And my ex ( who I do see occasionally at family events) sometimes tells me that he has always loved me , and always will . Just to remind me, I guess.

I never had any confidence in myself when I was young, so having two men profess that I'm the love of their life, is pretty reassuring !

Gwenhwyfar · 04/11/2018 23:23

No and not by parents either. I'm presuming the childhood experience is partly why it's so hard as an adult.

ohnothanks · 04/11/2018 23:23

No. Close but no cigar. It makes me sad. Kids aside. We have a mutual love-of-my-life thing going on.

affectionincoldclimate · 04/11/2018 23:25

Yes. My ex-DH. It was one of those all consuming loves that shone brightly for both of us. Far too brightly as it died slowly but when it ended it was fireworks aka what is also described as "acrimonious". I remember him fondly. He remembers me too. I proposed friendship some years ago. He responded "You not just a person to me". It was his choice to end it by the way and from snippets of what he said years later, he regretted it deeply.

It was meant to be that way as i'm now happy with someone else and have a gorgeous DD (never felt like having children with ex-DH for some weird reason). However, he was definitely one of the most significant people in my life and when he ended it, it nearly killed me. I recovered though twice as strong though.

I’m with JG Ballard when he said “First wives/[husbands]are a rite of passage into adult life. In many ways it’s important that first marriages go wrong. That’s how we learn the truth about ourselves”.

DP is the love of DD's life so far and vice versa. She looks like a mini copy of him and they have an amazing connection. I feel very happy about it.

Original poster
Fivehundredchildren · 04/11/2018 23:52

Yes Gwenhwyfar, I suspect that too. In my case my parents were (and still are) so besotted with each other no-one else got a look in, but at the same time I had an unrealistic expectation of what love looked like. I feel torn: I'm happy for them that they have that kind of love for each other but sad that I (and probably most people) don't get to have that. And the kiddy bit of me wishes they could have shared it with me and my brother more too Sad

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 05/11/2018 00:20

Five, I think my parents love me in their own way, but not in the all-encompassing way that most parents love their children. They don't know how old I am, for example. Apart from once when she wanted a holiday, my DM has never been to visit me. I'm no better. I don't bother calling them and only go back twice a year or so. I think I can't have a relationship with a man because I'm so afraid of that rejection.

catinboots9 · 05/11/2018 00:40

No 

Bloominglovely · 05/11/2018 00:44

No. I have loved and been loved but not at the same time. really would like to know what it feels like to be in love and for that love to be mutual.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 05/11/2018 00:45

I've had 3 short-term obsessive boyfriends that have been overpoweringly in love with me. I felt a huge disconnect and that they were in love of an idea of me rather than the reality. My partner that was the great love of my life died and it was devastating. The whole thing was very passionate and consuming.

I want stability and a calm, considerate love.

Rachelover40 · 05/11/2018 00:47

Yes, my husband's. He's never loved anyone else.
It's one heck of a responsibility!

MrsTerryPratcett · 05/11/2018 01:01

My DH I believe.

Not my first H.

One boyfriend who I treated abysmally. I warned him I would (awful cow I was at the time).

The dog, beyond all imagining. 

MinorRSole · 05/11/2018 01:24

Yes, I think dh and I both feel that way about each other. I was in a ltr when we met and he never settled with anyone during that time, I had no idea how he felt until that relationship ended. Our relationship certainly isn't perfect but I love who he is as a person and think he feels the same.

From my side I've never felt like this about anyone else and can't imagine doing so.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 05/11/2018 01:25

Yes, my DH. He makes me feel so loved and cherished, and even though we have been through some truly awful times with money, miscarriages and health, I have always known that he adores me. It is very comforting.

Pasithea · 05/11/2018 01:32

I still am to my husband and one other. Long long long story from long ago but he still contacts me regularly to tell me.

Ohyesiam · 05/11/2018 01:33

Yes, my first husband who died when I was 25, and my current partner.
My mum really loves me but in an oppressive controlling prurient way that sadly creates distance between us.

Athena51 · 05/11/2018 01:33

My DP tells me often that I'm the love of his life and he means it. He is mine also. I had years of a dreadful marriage to endure first and DP and I met in our mid 40s so I think I deserve the adoration Smile

I am definitely the love of my cat's life and he's right up there for me Wink.

Non romantically, my DS is the light of my life.

SoleBizzz · 05/11/2018 01:38

No.

EBearhug · 05/11/2018 01:42

No. I seem to be pretty much unloveable. My mother wasn't that keen on me, either.

TeddyIsaHe · 05/11/2018 01:56

Yes, one. I am older and wanted to settle down and stability and he just wasn’t in the right place. We have stayed in touch throughout the 9 years since we split and our friendship has grown exponentially. He is the definition of a soulmate to me. Unfortunately we (still!) aren’t in the right place for a relationship to work. Which just shows sometimes love isn’t enough.

RightOnTheEdge · 05/11/2018 02:51

Ah EBearhug that's sad SadFlowers

I don't think I have been.

I had a long term dp and we got on brilliantly and he always said and acted like he loved me but he cheated lots of times so he can't have really.

I have been with dp for 9 years and I think that he thinks he loves me but you don't treat someone you love the way he treats me.

Seniorschoolmum · 05/11/2018 03:34

Yes, but like anotherroad he wasn’t the man for me.

Birdie69 · 05/11/2018 03:55

I honestly wouldn't expect to be the love of my parent's lives, as you describe in your question. The love between them is the romantic type of love - the sort where you might say "I adore you ! You're the love of my life !". But I wouldn't think of my parents having that kind of love for me.

I think you are mixing the two types of love - the love between parents and their children, as opposed to the romantic love felt between partners.

You say that you and your brother were not included in your parent's love for each other - well that's as it should normally be. I don't think many people expect their parents to have the same feelings for their children as they do for each other.

brizzledrizzle · 05/11/2018 04:00

If I was then they had a funny way of showing it so I hope not, if that's as good as it gets then there's no hope.

brizzledrizzle · 05/11/2018 04:01

If I was then they had a funny way of showing it so I hope not, if that's as good as it gets then there's no hope.

TheDowagerCuntess · 05/11/2018 05:34

Yes, DH of course. And one other man. We were never together but he told me I was.

He is lovely. I've known him since I was 16 and had a huge crush on him for years. When push came to shove, I realised he wasn't right for for me. And then meeting DH and understanding our laugh-out-loud, best friend compatibility, I feel certain.

I wish he could've found happiness with someone, but he's remained single to this day.