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Original poster

Dd’s friend staying over has the worst BO

36 replies

Rowenaravenclawsdiadem · 03/11/2018 20:47

I’ve suggested they have showers before they go to bed. Both dd and her have said no. The whole of the upstairs of the house smells. I’m not really sure what else I can do. Dd’s room smells eye wateringly bad.

Is it just a case of put up and shut up?

OP posts:
skippy67 · 03/11/2018 20:52

Yep. Get the windows open asap tomorrow, wash the bedding and chalk it up to experience.

Almondio · 03/11/2018 20:53

I think it is a case of let it go. If it was your DD maybe a quiet word another day, but not someone else's child, it's too sensitive and it could really upset and embarrass a young girl going through puberty.
We had a phase of DS's friend coming home to our house after school every day and stinking out the bathroom (think it was a 'just started high school stress poo thing!) and we didn't mention it, just quietly opened windows and freshened up the bathroom. It went on for a term or so before everything settled down Grin

GoldenMcOldie · 03/11/2018 20:54

I would go in and make light of it. Make a joke about whiffy pits and then insist on showers/deo for all.

You could go with, In our house we shower before bed....

Original poster
Rowenaravenclawsdiadem · 03/11/2018 20:56

It’s only the second time I’ve met the girl. I don’t want to upset anyone.

OP posts:
siakcaci · 03/11/2018 20:58

I would go in and make light of it. Make a joke about whiffy pits and then insist on showers/deo for all.

This is what i did with DS's similar friend. I encouraged sleep overs and bought new shower gel, shampoo, toothpaste and deodorant, handed then each a set and told them they smelt too much like teenage boys  eventually it did work, I do think the parents of him just didn't care/notice

How old are they? Maybe it's a failing on parents and they need you to step in and help

Original poster
Rowenaravenclawsdiadem · 03/11/2018 21:00

They are both 13. I just popped in there again, it took my breath away!

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 03/11/2018 21:01

I've worked with adults who smelled eye wateringly bad - the problem was in their clothes eventually. Some people wore the same jumper/cardigan day in day out. God knows why their family/partners didn't say anything to them.

LockedOutOfMN · 03/11/2018 21:03

I would encourage them to shower, however if DD's friend doesn't have clean clothes to change into there isn't much way to get rid of the smell.

Original poster
Rowenaravenclawsdiadem · 03/11/2018 21:05

I just called dd down. She said you can’t tell someone else to have a shower in your house it’s weird. I said well I think your friend might need one. She said no it’s me I stink. It’s not her , but as Dd has asd, I’m so relieved she finally has a friend I’ll put up.

OP posts:
hugoagogo · 03/11/2018 21:07

I really wouldn't say anything. The poor girl would be mortified as would your dd.
It will pass.

IntenseInterest · 03/11/2018 21:07

Glad you’ve decided to put up with it OP, I would probably do the same in this situation.

It’s only for one night 🙂

gower4 · 03/11/2018 21:07

I'd leave it. Don't embarrass them!! It's a funny age as they get to grips with puberty.

Villanelle123 · 03/11/2018 21:09

Definitely don’t try and make her shower. Would find it very strange if when my DD is older she’d been ‘forced’ to shower at someone else’s house. Hopefully that problem won’t ever arise though!

Rebecca36 · 03/11/2018 21:32

Just don't ask her to stay again until she has outgrown the smelly phase.

Almondio, I like your post.

KumquatQuince · 03/11/2018 21:32

Omg my DD is on a sleepover tonight and I’m worried that it’s her! She can be a bit wiffy. Without being too outing, are there any other girls there OP? If it was my DD I would say tell her, she can take it. But in general I’d say don’t.

Gemini69 · 03/11/2018 21:37

Aawww nooo poor girl likely isn't even aware.. what a shame.. it's a tad awkward and such a sensitive age... Flowers

Original poster
Rowenaravenclawsdiadem · 03/11/2018 21:40

There were 2 other girls but they haven’t stayed. Dont have the room.

OP posts:
mimibunz · 03/11/2018 21:42

You told your daughter that her friend stinks? How could you do that?

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 03/11/2018 21:43

If your dd has ASD could the friend also? It can add an extra layer of challenge.

Original poster
Rowenaravenclawsdiadem · 03/11/2018 21:47

No I didn’t tell her her friend stinks! I said that perhaps it was best if they had showers, because it smelt a bit sweaty in her room. Dd said it was her that smelt. I said perhaps both of you should have showers. Dd then said it was weird
To tell people to have showers.

Dd has the subtlety of a sledgehammer due to her asd so I’m not stupid enough to say your friend smells.
I said the room smelt.

OP posts:
LEMtheoriginal · 03/11/2018 21:48

My DD is 13 and bloody stinks!! I think its hormonal. She had a bath the other day and before she was even dry she honked to high heaven.

I now buy her mitchum 48hr deodorant.

You can't say anything though - that would be mean.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 03/11/2018 21:49

You can't say anything without it being awkward and embarrassing. And you can't make her someone else's child have a shower at a sleep over.

Original poster
Rowenaravenclawsdiadem · 03/11/2018 21:51

I asked in a really casual do you want showers before PJs way. But they both said no, so I haven’t said anything else in front of her.

OP posts:
Snomade · 03/11/2018 21:51

Poor girl

AlexanderHamilton · 03/11/2018 21:56

When ds has a friend to stay I present it as fact.

“right time for a shower, who is going first? Don’t forget to use shower gel/deodorant”

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