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Original poster

Make me feel better-foot in mouth moments

33 replies

Solenti · 31/10/2018 14:34

I've just unintentionally dobbed someone in to their parent for smoking . Said person is an adult and owns a house and a business, but has never told his parents he smokes. I did NOT know this. Thus, have just casually mentioned it on conversation to his horrified Dad. Fuck.
Cheer me up with your terrible moments.

OP posts:

Disneydilemma · 31/10/2018 14:48

My worst one was when I used to work with a man who had sadly lost his only daughter the year before. Someone had brought some hot cross buns into work and I started to offer them round in the staffroom whilst singing the hot cross buns song (cringey enough as it was!).
I got to the ‘if you have no daughters’ part just as I reached this man and immediately realised what I’d said and stopped abruptly which made it even worse. Awful.

I’ve also asked a friend what her plans were for decorating her new flat only to be told that she’d already done it

AviatorShades · 31/10/2018 15:06

Last week..met a woman who had just been for tests or something re: her heart being enlarged? So, nicely, I asked her how it went. "absolutely normal" she said..."so it's just a big head you've got,then?" I said...

FFS shoot me now! Yes, back in the summer we had the Saga of the Sunhat (cos she's got a large crown) and honestly I was talking about that, BUT she's also a loud mouth know it all as well...

Dhalandchips · 31/10/2018 15:10

Ooh, at the wedding of the friend of my brother...the bride came over to the table we were all sitting at for a chat. I said gushing "ooh I bet you're REALLY looking forward to your trip on the Orient Express" she said "so that's where we're going..." I was mortified, I'd completely ruined the surprise.

Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 31/10/2018 15:27

I told my friend when she was half way through the book that Sirius Black died. She had tried so hard to avoid hearing from anyone and it just slipped out from me totally unexpectedly

Original poster

Solenti · 31/10/2018 15:58

Thanks everyone. Some awful/hilarious here, feeling a bit better now. Nothing worse than those fuuuuuuuuuck moments!

OP posts:

ItsJustTheOneSwanActually · 31/10/2018 16:02

Walked into a friend's new house. Noticed they had painters tape up. Said "oh it will be lovely when you've painted - it's so dark at the moment"

Yeah, she'd just painted it....it was ghastly though

Justmuddlingalong · 31/10/2018 16:04

Spent the day with my best friend, before she went in for a major operation.
'Give me a bell when you've come round from the anaesthetic, let me know you survived' said I.
We both had a chuckle...
That was the last conversation we had.

Fairypiggy · 31/10/2018 16:05

My friend was wearing a shirt and tank top and I asked him ‘are tank tops back in then?’ Like some kind of amateur fashion critic ffs!

Original poster

Solenti · 31/10/2018 16:05

justmuddling

OP posts:

Ironfloor269 · 31/10/2018 16:08

My cousin visited us after a long time and we were trying to take a selfie on his phone. He works in IT so DH joked that since he works in technology, taking a selfie should be easy peasy.

I then piped up, 'so just because he works in IT, does he have am inbuilt selfie stick?'

ItWasntMeItWasIm · 31/10/2018 16:09

Oh jesus you lot! 😂

KlutzyDraconequus · 31/10/2018 16:10

Dad and I collecting a car from somone ed previously met,
"Where's your mum tonight?" Dad asks the guy,
"My mum?" Man replies
"Yeah, carol"
"She's my wife...."
Silence lasted forever...

StressedToTheMaxx · 31/10/2018 16:11

My friends mum was in the hospital sick.
She text me to let me know her bloods where better so they where thinking of letting her home in the morning.
I replied: I hope she dies

I meant--I hope she does
I apologised profusely and thankfully she did get out in the morning. And is very well to date

chilledteacher · 31/10/2018 16:13

Went for a walk with DS2 when he was 2 weeks old and not sleeping much (hence I was very sleep deprived) Bumped into ex work colleague who was infertile and after years of heartache had instead got a beautiful beagle pup. "What a beautiful baby" said colleague said. "thanks, want to swap" said I 😳. Worst part was that she walked away saying "anytime" sadly and I didn't have the words to go after her. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Justmuddlingalong · 31/10/2018 16:16

I've mentioned this before on here, but the memory of it still makes me sort.
DP and I bumped into a friend who's DM had been in hospital having a leg amputated. DP asked him 'how's your mum, is she back on her feet? Foot! Feet!
What a tit. 🙄

CurcubitaPepo · 31/10/2018 16:25

About 15 years ago I went back to work after the Christmas break I asked a colleague if he’d had a good Christmas in that conversational way that you do.

However, what i forgot was colleagues disabled daughter had died about a month earlier and he’d just had the shittest Christmas known to man.

I did apologise.

Choccybisc · 31/10/2018 16:29

Someone of these

Ironfloor269 · 31/10/2018 16:53

Me again.

I was once sharing some banter with a colleague and meant to say 'you are an accident waiting to happen' but what came out was 'you are an accident'.

I should stop talking to people.

mayhew · 31/10/2018 16:59

At the wake after my Dads funeral, a couple my mum knew came and sat with us. After some general chit chat, the wife said "Anyway, where's Bob?" Err...we left him at the crem.

They were at the wrong wake.

TheLampthatWas · 31/10/2018 19:42

I have to give a little background first. Years ago I was something of a fan of a minor celebrity and belonged to a large forum where we discussed our shared interests. We later moved away from the forum as there was a lot of trouble and censorship. One member created a small forum where we could talk. Most of us were invited but some weren't as they had been threatening people and one was practically a stalker.

I was attending an event featuring minor celebrity and the stalker type was going to be there. She recognised me during the interval and I thought I'd better go talk to her and try to smooth things over. There were no personal issues between us.

We discussed the new forum and I intended to say that the founder hadn't invited everyone and was keeping it small and to those who had became particularly close. What I actually somehow said Was that we hadn't invited everyone. Even the people that we actually like.

I realised what I said and for some reason tried to cover it up by using the word like every few seconds as though it was something I'd always done. To make it worse I began to imitate her Newcastle accent while still saying like every sentence. I couldn't stop.

Thankfully I don't think that she heard me as the venue was pretty loud and we struggled to hear each other, but it was another ten long minutes of that before we parted.

curiousthing · 31/10/2018 19:52

This was back in school when you said 'your mum' to everything and I said it to a new friend and she turned round and said 'my mums dead' I apologised over and over and thankfully she was lovely about it as I obviously didn't know

LemonMousse · 31/10/2018 20:03

Years and years ago (late 80s) a few of us girls who worked together went on holiday to Spain. On our return we were discussing in the office how some of the German visitors to the hotel were rude - I piped up 'And they don't shave their armpits!' (As I said - it was the 80s - I now make no judgement on what people do with their armpits)
Another lady in the office said 'My Mum's German' to which I responded 'Do you just shave one armpit then Sharon?'
I still cringe 30 years on!

goodnessgrace · 31/10/2018 20:05

Awful one for me.

Met a friend's new baby, gorgeous baby girl and I was holding her and cooing over her (as you do) and said something daft like "ooh no, you're not baby Bella (her actual name) you're Fred!"

(When I was younger my parents used to show me photos of myself and say it wasn't me it was the boy down the road named Fred - weirdos yes)

It was only when I left I remembered my poor friend had a stillbirth two years previous and had named the baby boy....... you guessed it. Fred.

Names changed as so outing and awful

I still think about this now, even as Bella is 12yo!!!

Stressedoutteacher45 · 31/10/2018 20:15

I asked a man with one arm I was serving at a restaurant if he wanted a hand whilst getting money out his wallet.

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 31/10/2018 20:17

GoodnessGrace
Jesus, I want the ground to swallow me up just READING that.

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