Make me feel better-foot in mouth moments

[Solenti]

I've just unintentionally dobbed someone in to their parent for smoking . Said person is an adult and owns a house and a business, but has never told his parents he smokes. I did NOT know this. Thus, have just casually mentioned it on conversation to his horrified Dad. Fuck.
Cheer me up with your terrible moments.

Once asked someone to take a seat...who was in a wheelchair 🙈 he replied I've already got one

I used to have a long running joke with a group of friends where every time someone said "I can't do .. " the rest of us would chorus "because you smell". It made us laugh.

One day I was sitting with my boss and some colleagues. We'd all been talking about kids not liking us (we're teachers) and my boss said "the kids don't like me because" and I jumped in with "because you smell". It did not go down well, because he does actually smell, so everybody went silent and looked at their feet. He started asking everyone if he did smell, nobody answered, it was awful!!!!

A neighbour was just back from a fairly long hospital stay for a cancer-related operation and treatment. He was looking a bit frail and had livestock, so when I bumped into him I cheerily said, as we parted, 'Let me know if you need a hand.' Guess what he'd been in hospital to have amputated...?

2 things both said by same friend without meaning to hurt.

A neighbour had come round to thank everyone for being so thoughtful whilst he was in hospital having an ear removed. Friend said 'Hey, get an earful of this'.

Same friend writing to someone who had just had a mastectomy'Just to keep you abreast of matters'
!!

We always used to joke about lost things being 'down the back of the sofa" in a sort of automatic way, about anything
... cue colleague talking about losing a baby...oh dear!

Not me but an old colleague: A man we knew through work had been in a train accident. When we saw him next and doing well she told him how glad she was he was getting his life back on track.

I used not work with a (lovely) lady who had suffered from alopecia and always wore a wig as a result. One day she got very angry and upset about something quite trivial which had happened and just went totally over the top ranting about it. I got annoyed with her ranting Andrew told her to “keep your hair on ..... “ ......

A friend asked me if she looked fat in her dress, I tactfully asked her if she had any Spanx she could wear under the dress, she informed that she was already wearing them!