Ex ‘cannot afford’ maintenance this month.

[Corfu06]

Exdp pays a meagre £100 pcm towards our ds. He has him 3 nights a month and doesn’t pay anything towards trips/uniform. Maintenance was due to go in my bank today and last night at 11pm I had a text to say he cannot afford it this month. I have already budgeted for the maintenance and I will be up shit creek now. And what really pisses me off is how he thinks it’s optional. Like I could turn round to my ds and say ‘sorry ds no food this month, mummy can’t afford It’. And I know some fathers don’t have their children/pay at all. I will be contacting the csa today and we can go down a formal route (this isn’t the first time he’s done this) but I am so upset that this is someone I will have to deal with for many years to come. DICK

He’s at utter dick. But, I do think it’s a bit unfair on his mum, to be texting her about it. Hopefully she will lend him the money and he can owe her instead though.

My ex also thinks I'm rolling in it if I scrape together enough to go on a 'sun holiday' with the kids. He has only taken them away once since we split up 5 years ago, but somehow could afford a trip for himself to Bulgaria (told me his friend paid for it when I asked him 🤔🤥). He also accused me of 'winning the lottery' and spoiling the kids because I bought them both trainers they needed for PE. They were Nike Airs but they were fakes. I don't know how he thinks they'd get anything if I didn't, because he certainly doesn't! The kids say he never has the heating on either so are reluctant to go there.

Everyone is saying going through CMS pay the £20 and have taken directly from his wages.

You are not giving any reason why you aren’t using CMS or saying that you will go through them. Why??

I am going to go through the cms after today, I am at work so can’t ring right now but will on my break later today. I also actually have to scrap the £20 together and this lack of £100 has really affected my budget for this month.

I haven’t gone through them before as I am a soft touch I suppose and didn’t want the amount of abuse I will inevitably on the receiving end of once he knows I’ve gone to them.

Well done, OP. I think. Going through CMS will bring you back that £20 in spades, hopefully soon.

Good luck with CMS.
Ex has found a great loophole. Pays a meagre amount (much less than what CMS calculated) they just shrug their shoulders n say "well at least he is paying something". Then few months later he stops paying, I call CMS again, they do calculations of earnings again, he pays a low amount, they do nothing, he stops paying, I call them, they do another calculation... This has been going on for 5 years, he owes almost £7k in missed payments. My next option is an official complaint to CMS and then my MP.

Op if you go through CMS you will actually be entitled to a lot more by what you have said. Let's see how the prick feels once he realises how good he's had it

bonfire that is shocking. I hope you do put in an official complaint AND write to your MP in parallel.

How did it go @Corfu06 ?

As well as going to CMS make sure the kids make their own cards this years and put lots of extra glitter on his.

Tell his mum she will probably be horrified

I'm glad you told his mum and please do contact CMS right away and start the process. if he's making £30+, he should be paying a lot more than a measly £100 a month anyway!

What a horrible father, thinking too bad if his own child can't eat or be warm because he's spent all his money on himself and his girlfriend this month. And to be mad that his son got to go on a mini holiday ... with his mum! ... so why should he support him?!?! Utter dick.

RTFT, she's already gone to his mum

I’m glad to read you’re FINALLY going through CMS. this is about your Son, not your emotional weaknesses toward your Dick of an Ex who clearly shows no empathy emotionally or financially for either you or your Son. You’ve let your Son go without for far too long OP.

I'd be posting it on social media, has he bought presents?
I'm glad you've told his mother.
Definitely go through CMS it should automatically come out of his pay.
What an arse.

Definitely tell his mum.

His Mum knows and defended him by saying he was struggling financially but would have a word

Urgh. Well he can eat a bag of dicks.

No more lenient approach, go through CMS and then he'll really see what it's like to have to sacrifice for your family, the way you have been.

He’s an utter dick. But, I do think it’s a bit unfair on his mum, to be texting her about it. Hopefully she will lend him the money and he can owe her instead though.

I don't think it's a bit unfair on his mum, I would want to know if this was my Son behaving like this. I would also pay the maintenance myself for my grandchild if my Son hadn't paid, and reduce his inheritance accordingly if I could afford it.

Why has a thread from October been resurrected?!

Why has a thread from October been resurrected?

That's a point - there's another one in Trending that's years old as well. Odd.

I’m raging on your behalf!