Would you leave a lovely house because of bad neighbours? Have you?

[Freshstart40]

Would you/have you moved from a house you love because of bad neighbours?
We have lived in a lovely house for five years, relations with neighbours have gotten progressively worse, we just ignore each other now, say hello if we have to when passing in the street. All due to constant diy noise. We could just about put up with this but their son now shouts abuse over the fence, he's only 7 to my two children. I remove them from garden so they don't hear much but I'm worried things will only get worse the older he gets. The kIds all go to the same school too so often share a school run space. The 7 year old is constantly in trouble and the parents have little control. Eg ramming his scooter into other kids ankles, growling etc

So, would you move to protect your children as they grow up? We have recently paid off our mortgage, very very lucky I know. (Due to inheritance) But we would need to get another long term mortgage to move into a similar property.

Of course no guarantee of nice neighbours anywhere but we've never experienced this level and the thought of it now affecting the upbringing of the kids is so sad. I've been stressed to the extent I've sunk back into a depression I had after my first was born five years ago and I can't seem to get out of it. I never quite believed the effect stress has on a body but I'm constantly getting bugs and my hair is falling out so much. No medical condition as had bloods done etc. Also started binge eating again after four years on the wagon.

So, is it worth moving because of nasty neighbours even though we'd either go into a worse house or take another big mortgage. Or just put up and shut up. We'd be keeping the children at the same school as they are so settled there so would be a move to another part of town.

Any advice really really appreciated. I keep going around in circles. (& eating large quantities of chocolate and biscuits!!)

Personally I would. If it's affecting the quality of life and you're miserable.

I don't think I would move at this point. Just keep ignoring and hope the boy loses interest.

Yes I would. Your quality of life and mental health is much more important.

I think I would be tempted to move if it’s having such a bad effect on your health.

On the other hand, you can’t know what neighbours you may get in a different house, or if your current neighbours might move. If it was simply a case of not getting on with them, I’d just ignore, but you can’t realky do that with children involved, especially as they go to the same school.

Presumably, it’s unlikely they’ll move anytime soon, if they’ve done lots of diy. Why not do a bit of research and see what sort of house you could move to and whether anything locally matches up to what you have. You could find something you’ll love as much. If you don’t, then perhaps that tells you to stay.

Bear in mind too, that moving is really stressful and not always straightforward. Is there no way of resolving the difficulties with the neighbour?

I think in your situation, where it is clearly affecting your physical and mental health, yes I would move. It's also not fair on your children not to be able to play in the garden. I really feel for you OP, it sounds really stressful

You could always rent it out and use the money to rent somewhere in the hope they eventually move rather than taking on a mortgage. Preferably to noisy students or the likes.

I would definitely move. Poor you.

I'm desperate to move due to next doors 2 terriers that bark.
It's for increasingly bad in the past 22 months (see I'm counting).
They are lovely people but oblivious to how they live impacts us. Their dogs are the sound I wake up to and often the sound I drop off to. And can be heard several times a day. I've now developed an ear for them. So even when they just yap for 10 seconds d's and not 30 minutes at a time it goes right through me.
I havnt made a formal complaint because ive heard it can impact a house sale as you need to declare it but tbh I can't see reporting would help. They arent going yo ztop having the dog in the bedroom or it not get excited at 6am, they aren't going to get rid of the dog or give up their jobs to be there mire, they can't stop people walking past their house etc etc.

We are so fed up. Dh works away so dies not get it as bad as me but had month off in August and was shocked.

We are like you- we would need new mortgage and go back to being skint to move and worry that as we can't buy an isolated house we may end up with a similar problem. I want yo just sell and move to rented just to get away from it asap. I'm getting pretty desperate and finding it increasingly hard to be nice to them although I always say hello etc.

We moved due to neighbours many years ago. Happily living in nice semi, had done loads to it and got it just how we wanted it. New people next door. The noise was awful, unbelievably loud opera music, sex so loud I thought he was killing her and two constantly barking dogs. We obviously asked them to keep the noise down several times to no avail. In 10 weeks we had moved.
During those 10 weeks I thought I was going mad, no sleep and the constant stress of it all.
Never lived in anything but detached since even if it's meant a smaller home.
I thank my lucky stars every day for my lovely neighbours where I live now.
I can't say what you should do but I'd definitely be trying to move if it was affecting my health. Additionally, if this escalates into full-blown neighbour dispute you'll have to declare it to potential buyers so ifyou are going go sooner rather than later.
Feel for you.

Thanks everyone, and sorry Cath to hear of your situation. You don't appreciate how badly it can affect you until it does! It's the anticipation of it too. We have tried to make peace but we're met with insults and accusations of being intimidating and anyone who knows me find that laughable. So at that point I gave up. Just not reasonable people.

We did. From a flat, we had lived there quite happily for 10 years and then new neighbours moved in upstairs. The noise and mess was unbelievable.

Luckily we were able to stay at a relatives so we sold as quickly as we could. This was nearly 20 years ago but I can remember the toll it took on both our mental health.

Good luck

Yes we did. We’d done loads to it and loved it but the neighbours were just awful. Because it was such a lovely house we were able to afford something bigger, and in the long run, better. Neighbours here are all so kind and friendly and we’re so happy we moved.
If you made this house lovely, you’ll do the same to the next.

I've moved sooner than I otherwise would have from a flat to a house much further out, due to one set of neighbours being extremely noisy. They were a family of 5 in a middle floor, converted 2 bed flat and seemed to have several guests every day on top of the comings and going of their daily life, all with extremely loud voices. It worked out very well, current neighbours are quiet.

I've moved several times due to neighbour problems [barking dogs, very late parties, bullying, shared drive etc.]. The one next to me now is a miserable sod who doesn't speak to me but she leaves me alone and that's ok.

I've never regretted any move, moved onto another lovely place, made a bit f a profit each time. My mental health is more important to me rather than suffer because of selfish neighbours year in year out. Money should be used to improve our situation/s whatever it may be and you cannot put price on peace in your own home.

Yes, sad that it seems to be fairly common. People can be horrible, and if your life is affected by them then I agree you should move. I'd rather be somewhere smaller/cheaper and be content.

We moved due to our mental case neighbours as it was affecting DH’s mental health.

It was such a relief. I hadn’t realised how much it was affecting us until we moved.

What? No way would I be driven out by a 7yo.

If he's in the garden shouting abuse , why bring your DC in. I'd bloody film him and show his parents. (I'd also be out watering my garden a lot and hose him)
Put up a high trellis and fast climbers (Russian ivy) to block him.

School Run- avoid him, cross the road , leave earlier.
He's 7yo . Why should he cost you £1,000s in moving.

The ramming into people with his scooter. Is this on the way to school? He'll do it to the wrong person one day.
If he comes at you , put your foot up to the front wheel to stop him sharply. I wouldn't let him mow my DC ankles.

I know MN will say "Oh you can't call a child a Little Shit" or "He might have SN"

But he's a Little Sh*t !

We are looking to move because our neighbour is nuts. Every weekend he starts noisy work bang on 8 o’clock both days. He also has a job that means he’s up at 5am and he clatters around during the week and starts up his incredibly noisy car.

This morning he was grinding metal in the front garden at 8am. I’m usually up at 7 but I’m starting to feel anxious as soon as 8am draws close, wondering what’s he going to do today. He also goes through the bins and throws non recyclable rubbish in our recycling bin so it doesn’t get taken. I’ve started waiting at home till the bin men come on recycling day and guarding the bin. We even have a lock on it but he tips it upside down to get in. I really feel for you OP and moving may be a good move if only to keep you sane.

We moved because of bad neighbours and very thin walls. Took a major financial hit because of it, but totally worth it for my mental health. We agonised over the decision and the financial implications, but in the end, we just had to get out.

But because it was right for us or other posters doesn’t mean it’s the right decision for you. Only you can decide on that. Could you make any changes to reduce the stress for now, for example a higher garden fence so the next door child can’t see into your garden?

And shitloads of wind chimes to drown the little darling out

I moved from my dream terraced house in West London due to noisy neighbours. OK these places aren’t sound insulated by any stretch of the imagination but you’re considerate to your neighbours.
The next door house was bought for a young woman by her parents (she was 21 & the house was worth £350k!). She wanted to go travelling so rented it out. She did leave us an email address to contact her.
The renters, a married couple & the wife’s sister, worked in the City & on paper seemed model tenants.
However they used to take tons of drugs & party late into the night regardless of whether it was weekday or weekend. We would call the council noise department & police but nothing helped. The tenants got sneaky - all quiet during the evening then a blast of music at 3am going on for 15 minutes - enough to wake you up but not enough time to complain.
It was awful! We were both having to work on bugger all sleep, you’d get home from work & sit there waiting for the noise to stop. We were both being treated for anxiety by the end of it.
All the way through this, we were emailing the young lady & receiving petulant replies on how we were ruining her holidays. We gave her email to the other neighbours & they started to complain to her as well. Unfortunately complaining to the letting agent didn’t work as he was related to the tenants...
When the owner returned after 8mths (!) the house was pretty much wrecked inside. Her parents were furious especially when we showed them all the emails we’d been sending & their daughter’s responses. She never let the house out again & things were pretty quiet. But the damage was done.
After that we looked to move out of London! In fact outside of the M25 where we found a detached house. If any of the neighbour’s have a party & there’s music, I do start to panic but everyone one is very reasonable - no noise after midnight & only at weekends.

Not us but my DParents moved from a nice house they had done loads of work to near my DFs work to a big odd ramshackle place in a completely different far away area when I was young. I asked why when I was a lot older and was shocked at the "neighbours from hell" they described including throwing bottles over the wall when I was out in the garden and rougue bonfires

Yes i did. We lived in a wonderful house in a lovely neighbourhood until the house next door was sold and neighbours from hell moved in. They ripped down fencing, poisoned our trees, had a cctv camera pointed at us 34/7, screamed abuse and threats until we couldn't go outside, deliberately played loud music through the night, and the children were terrified. We got out of there as soon as we could and now live in peace again.

Thank you. I'm reading each reply gratefully. Showed my husband too. We agree we should move. I just need to try and not become more bitter and angry. It's tough.

Put up a big 6ft fence between you and the neighbours, and maybe even a laurel hedge if there's room.

I don't know if you've had any arguments with the ndn, but you have to declare any disputes when you are trying to sell a house, which can make it difficult.