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Original poster

Would you leave a lovely house because of bad neighbours? Have you?

56 replies

Freshstart40 · 28/10/2018 08:44

Would you/have you moved from a house you love because of bad neighbours?
We have lived in a lovely house for five years, relations with neighbours have gotten progressively worse, we just ignore each other now, say hello if we have to when passing in the street. All due to constant diy noise. We could just about put up with this but their son now shouts abuse over the fence, he's only 7 to my two children. I remove them from garden so they don't hear much but I'm worried things will only get worse the older he gets. The kIds all go to the same school too so often share a school run space. The 7 year old is constantly in trouble and the parents have little control. Eg ramming his scooter into other kids ankles, growling etc

So, would you move to protect your children as they grow up? We have recently paid off our mortgage, very very lucky I know. (Due to inheritance) But we would need to get another long term mortgage to move into a similar property.

Of course no guarantee of nice neighbours anywhere but we've never experienced this level and the thought of it now affecting the upbringing of the kids is so sad. I've been stressed to the extent I've sunk back into a depression I had after my first was born five years ago and I can't seem to get out of it. I never quite believed the effect stress has on a body but I'm constantly getting bugs and my hair is falling out so much. No medical condition as had bloods done etc. Also started binge eating again after four years on the wagon.

So, is it worth moving because of nasty neighbours even though we'd either go into a worse house or take another big mortgage. Or just put up and shut up. We'd be keeping the children at the same school as they are so settled there so would be a move to another part of town.

Any advice really really appreciated. I keep going around in circles. (& eating large quantities of chocolate and biscuits!!)

OP posts:
Agustarella · 28/10/2018 13:09

We live next door to a party house with very loud dogs. After months of arguments they have mostly got the message that it's not OK to repeatedly shout the F word in the garden at midnight or let the dogs bark outside for 45 minutes before 8am or after 10pm. They still give me the death stare every time I see them, as if their behaviour is completely reasonable. They recently partied outside with a professional sound system (like you would get at concerts) until 3am. I get that it was a weekend and their son's 21st, but why should the whole neighbourhood have to lose a night's sleep? Especially when they are noisy every other bloody day of the year. Odd that nobody else seems to complain AFAIK, even though they are definitely inconvenienced by it and don't appear to socialise with the party chav couple. Can't wait to move out.

SugarandVinegar · 28/10/2018 13:09

Yes move, you're very lucky to have the option, op - do it and don't look back.

I've got my home just how I like it - keep myself to myself but a neighbour and her adult son a couple of doors down has started making my life miserable.
Standing stock still with hands on hips glaring at me as I go by - filthy looks, you get the picture.
I'd love to move (rented) but I'm not up to it.

Creaci · 28/10/2018 13:11

I wouldn't. The DIY won't carry on forever. I'd buy a six foot fence and plant a prickly tall hedge in front of it so he can't see your kids. You will spend loads to move.

Agustarella · 28/10/2018 13:15

Standing stock still with hands on hips glaring at me as I go by - filthy looks, you get the picture.

We had one like that when we were in our last house. Strangely enough his wife was super-nice. We were only there a few months and I think he died around the same time (very old). We were renting a derelict-ish cottage with a new baby so weird glaring guy was the least of our problems. Can you slightly change your route home so as not to pass her or is her house too close?

Bluntness100 · 28/10/2018 13:18

I also think move. You're not mentally able to cope with it and it's making you ill. That's no way to live and no amount of money is worth sacrificing your health for.

Sarahjconnor · 28/10/2018 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Freshstart40 · 28/10/2018 13:25

Thanks all. To answer a few questions. There is already a high fence so they can't see over. He still shouts when he hears us and we ignore. We literally live next door so no alternate school run routes. It's the parent s too, not just the child. She has a mums cliche at school who do the whole silent standing and staring thing, every.single.day for the last year and a half. The school won't change but if I'm not next door I can at least relax on the way to and from school I guess. I've become obsessed with them almost, it consumes my mind. We have to move before I completely lose the plot! It's the slow drum beat of stress over a few years and the DIY will never stop. It's like painting a bridge, by the time he's done, he starts the repairs. Think big structure in garden. It's been two years already. I can't post too much detail as it's very identifying and I've not bothered name changing.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 28/10/2018 13:27

You need a fresh start!

Agustarella · 28/10/2018 13:39

Has he got planning permission for the big structure? It's probably one of those permitted development thingies but it never hurts to check with the council. Also the kid's behaviour is directly impacting you, so this may be one of few occasions when it's OK to grass someone up to social services. I hope you get it sorted, but if not, moving might be your best option.

AJPTaylor · 28/10/2018 13:41

Get agents round and get it on the market.

Original poster
Freshstart40 · 28/10/2018 14:06

It must be a permitted development I think. Also if he did need permission he'd just create more DIY by taking it down and rebuilding. Re social services, from what I see he's not being abused at all. He's just a horrible kid. I hate to say that but I just know I'll be reading about him in the paper one day. They have pets and I hear him being horrible to them too. Again can't say too much as I'll be outed!

We've already had the estate agents around to value a few weeks ago. Going to make the call tomorrow to get it on the market. I'm just bitter and not accepting it yet a shame we've only just got mortgage free and will now be signing up for another 20 years. But... the bottom line is, no point being mortgage free if you're miserable.

Thanks everyone. I'll keep re reading next week to try cheer myself up that we are doing the right thing.

OP posts:
Agustarella · 28/10/2018 14:11

RSPCA then? Doesn't really solve the noise problem, but anything that puts these people on the back foot takes away time and energy that would otherwise be used to torment you.

I think you're potentially doing the right thing to move, if you've already done whatever you can to fix the situation.

Curious2468 · 28/10/2018 14:34

Can you not move to a similar property and just get a mortgage for a small amount for stamp duty and renovations etc? It shouldn’t mean a large new mortgage unless you are upsizing at the same time

MulticolourMophead · 28/10/2018 14:38

The DIY won't carry on forever.

Ha! I have a friend who lives next door to a DIY fanatic. He effectively goes through the house doing everything up, then goes back to the beginning and starts again. She reckons he has something like a 3 year cycle.

Flower777 · 28/10/2018 14:40

I might set a time frame to feel a bit more in control. Eg if it’s still bad in a year we will move. And maybe just keep an eye on the market.

Good luck OP. Sounds very stressful.

W0rriedMum · 28/10/2018 14:45

A barking dog would drive me insane. I used to visit a house where there were a couple of barking dogs and the noise would go through you. My friends with dogs don't seem to mind, but when dogs bark every single time someone passes outside, the rest of us definitely do.

The other thing I hate is loud music outside on warm days. It becomes a war of the speakers.

RandomMess · 28/10/2018 15:04

I would move too, in the past we have not moved because we had lovely neighbours and the potential new house had lots of vehicles next door and a lack of parking in the street around and it was very a near a playground and it just seemed a big risk.

cushioncovers · 28/10/2018 15:11

The son sounds horrible. Something not right about a child so young being nasty to animals and other kids. 

Jayfee · 28/10/2018 15:16

If the diy is finished and only the 7 year old to worry about, it might be worth trying to build a relationship with your neighbour? It might be she is completely unreasonable, in which case you won't have lost anything, or you might be able to live alongside each other as neighbours.

ElspethFlashman · 28/10/2018 15:17

We did it. In our case we lived next to a development that gradually evolved from quiet owner occupied flats to a dozen student flats I. E. A dozen student parties every week.

We were mortgage free also, so decided to change area so as to buy cheaper. But our kids weren't in school yet, so we weren't tied to that area.

Still, even if we were, we would have chosen to stay within our sale price to purchase the next place, even if it meant using every penny and some savings besides. The thought of taking on another mortgage.... Just no.

We can't believe the difference. Coming home is now a relief. It used to actually make you tense up coming home to the last place. Best thing we ever did.

Clawdy · 28/10/2018 15:22

We moved to the house of my dreams, and then had to put up with listening to endless piano playing. Our eccentric new neighbour was a pianist and also taught piano, he refused to speak to us, and his elderly mother glowered at us each time she saw us. One night the loud playing went on for hours, DH went next door to complain and there was a huge row. Eight months later we had moved - to a house which was nowhere near as nice, but we had lovely neighbours! Best thing we ever did.

SheBangsit · 28/10/2018 15:34

I did. It was absolute hell. I'd actually vomit every time I saw them drive in. I left a beautiful house, but my sanity was more important. It's not easy and it's such a shit deal, but you'll feel free again. You can't put a price on that.

Jayfee · 28/10/2018 16:03

Sorry op I did not see your comments about how horrible they continue to be. Good luck with finding a nice peaceful home.

SugarandVinegar · 28/10/2018 17:14

Can you slightly change your route home so as not to pass her or is her house too close ?

Not really Agustarella it's a cul de sac with only one road in to it.
I wonder what they think they're going to achieve.

sheldonstwin · 28/10/2018 17:23

I truly sympathise with everyone on this thread because people don't understand the misery that is bad neighbours until you go through it yourself. I don't consider myself a vindictive person but I still wish real harm and every kind of bad luck to my ex neighbour. Yes, I moved from a lovely house to get away from her.

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