DH wants DC to play in their rooms

[DaysDragonBy]

DC 9&6. They have a corner of the living room for their toys. DH wants to move their toys to their rooms and install a TRX and exercise bike where their toys currently are. They are currently in a basement room, which he wants to turn into a workshop.

We live in a flat, we have one room with three bedrooms and a bathroom leading off of it. The one room is the hallway, living room, dining room, kitchen combined.

Pros:
the tools leave the living room and go to the basement.
we can do work in the basement in the winter instead of only being able to do it if it's good weather. (4 years later, we still don't have a finished wardrobe...)
No more lego on the floor

Cons:
I never get time away from the flat or the DC - at the moment if I do exercise I leave the DC with DH and go for half an hours peace and quiet.
The living room will look ugly and the tax things will hang next to my Christmas tree.
I would have to exercise in front of people, which means, realistically, that I will never do it.
In the summer it is excruciatingly hot in the flat, DH will be alright because he will run/bike outdoors.
I was always banished to my room as a child and I swore I would never do the same to my DC

Do you do a lot of workshop stuff? Seems crazy to me to prioritise a rarely used workshop over frequently used toys, tv living space

Are there no other options to do the work under cover outside? A shed?

It sounds horrible, say no.

But if you did get an exercise bike, I'm not sure why you would be forced to use it, you could still go out for a walk.

Excersise bike and tools in the living room is a no from me.

It sounds like you have grown out of the flat ...and the DH....

Your DH would hate our lounge, we still have lego and board games in our living room and DS is 13. I have come to the conclusion I will miss it when DS goes to university!

However, as others have said this is not really about the children having toys in their bedroom it is your DH ensuring he has his own space, and limiting your free time away from DC.

Your DH sounds incredibly selfish.

Basically you like things as they are and your dh wants to change them to his advantage (mancave) and everyone elses disadvantage. Hes trying to say it will not be a disadvantage to you but it will. If he wants the basement he needs to offer you something of equal value instead.

You can’t have the exercise stuff in the living room. That’s unpleasant for both the person exercising and everyone else in the house.

From what I've read (& admittedly I'm sleep deprived but struggles to understand a lot of OP's posts), where the gym equipment/kids toys go is the least of your worries in this relationship!

Does he actually need a workshop? The rest of us manage fine without. We assembled our wardrobe in the bedroom, it would have been a total pain getting it in there if it had been put together in a basement somewhere else.

No way would I have exercise equipment in my sitting room.

The workshop and exercise equipment can coexist in the same room. A vacuum cleaner will solve any mess.

He’s being a selfish git, basically creating his own man cave to escape you all.

Why can't you continue to go out to exercise. Just because the equipment is in the living room, doesn't mean it's compulsory to use it.

You live in a flat. Unless your DH is self employed in a construction trade he doesn't need a dedicated workshop - it is a luxury. Turn the basement into the gym and be done with it until such time as you have the money to move and have both.

Also most people also don't have gym in their basement/ livingroom - they join a gym. We are lucky there are low cost ones locally - us that an option?

Because I use it in the basement BitOut, that constitutes my going out!

If only we could have assembled our wardrobe Miscible, we've had to build ours from scratch. No pre-made ones would fit. No low cost gyms nearby, DH tried that variant before we cut down on expenses. At the moment all the tools are in the living room and we cut etc the wood on the balcony.

Will he be able to get the wardrobe from the basement to the bedroom?

So the workshop isn't a permanent need then, just until he has finished the wardrobe?

I think at your DC's age it's fair enough that your DC's toys are in their bedrooms, though I would let them play in the living room, as long as they bring them back to their room after. Does your dh need a workshop? How much work will he actually be doing in it?

You live in a flat with a balcony but you've also got a basement? How does that work? Can he put his exercise stuff on the balcony?

Is your dh one of Santa's elves?

Why do so many male partners see home as storage for stuff instead of the warm, lovely home families spend time in being together in the clean, comfortable and safe environment it should be?

I agree it sounds like he wants a man cave. Somewhere to escape the kids. The obvious place for the workshop is the basement. However I would make sure there was some of my stuff in storage down there just so I had an excuse to go down there every now and then otherwise he’s basically just commandeered a room all for himself.
Do as a pp suggested and put a rubber mat under the exercise bike and have it in your room. Lock on the door so when it’s your time to exercise it’s proper you time.
Then I’d make some space in the bedroom for the bike by boxing up for eg all my summer clothes and storing them in the basement.
Kids toys can go in rooms then your living space is nice for living in.

If your DH gets his way does it mean that the DCs are expect to keep their toys in their bedrooms and play there too and not to enter his territory i.e the living room?

The name living room is a hint. It is a room where people live, bedrooms are where people have their beds to sleep in. DH seems to want the flat and various areas of the flat to be for his use only and the rest of the household members are to stay out of his way and let him do whatever he wants
The arrangement/use of rooms does not seem to me to be the only problem in your situation

Do you need the exercise equipment? Do you use it every week or is it just taking up space? Would you use the workshop or would it just turn into the junk room. You don't have the space for everything so you need to prioritise. What would be most useful to have?

When space is tight, a gym and a workshop are a luxury. It makes sense to move the toys out of the living at this age (perhaps your DC could share a bedroom and the other room becomes a playroom for them).

I wouldn’t have gym equipment in the living room either. It sounds like wardrobe making is a one-off task, so keep the gym in the basement!

Also, it sounds like you need some you time sometimes. Maybe a cake and a book in a coffee shop alone x

It makes sense to move the toys out of the living at this age (perhaps your DC could share a bedroom and the other room becomes a playroom for them).
This has been thought of many times but unfortunately they have such different sleeping habits it wouldn't be fair on DC2. DC2 also needs own space when DC1 is being meltdowny.

At the moment all tools, wood etc are in living room which does annoy me. I'm just not sure gym stuff is better.