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Original poster

DH wants DC to play in their rooms

91 replies

DaysDragonBy · 28/10/2018 07:12

DC 9&6. They have a corner of the living room for their toys. DH wants to move their toys to their rooms and install a TRX and exercise bike where their toys currently are. They are currently in a basement room, which he wants to turn into a workshop.

We live in a flat, we have one room with three bedrooms and a bathroom leading off of it. The one room is the hallway, living room, dining room, kitchen combined.

Pros:
the tools leave the living room and go to the basement.
we can do work in the basement in the winter instead of only being able to do it if it's good weather. (4 years later, we still don't have a finished wardrobe...)
No more lego on the floor

Cons:
I never get time away from the flat or the DC - at the moment if I do exercise I leave the DC with DH and go for half an hours peace and quiet.
The living room will look ugly and the tax things will hang next to my Christmas tree.
I would have to exercise in front of people, which means, realistically, that I will never do it.
In the summer it is excruciatingly hot in the flat, DH will be alright because he will run/bike outdoors.
I was always banished to my room as a child and I swore I would never do the same to my DC

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 28/10/2018 08:30

It means I will never get to go out for 30-60 minutes and leave him in charge of the DC. It is the only time he is ever in sole charge of the the DC admittedly usually he lets them have screen time
I'll have to exercise whilst looking after the DC e.g. when he goes out on his bike/run.
Absolute deal breaker that he then wouldn’t expect you to ever leave him with both dc on his own. If you won’t exercise in the living room then don’t. And if you don’t want the bike in there then just say no. Can your basement really be worse than London traffic? Assuming no one is actively drilling in there while you exercise?

Singlenotsingle · 28/10/2018 08:32

Typical man-child, wanting the house arranged for his own benefit without any regard for the rest of the family. Surely the exercise equipment can share space in the basement with the workshop stuff?

Thatstheendofmytether · 28/10/2018 08:37

So he wants to ugly up your living room with an exercise bike that he will be bringing in for you, so you won't go out yourself to excessive anymore and he never has to look after his children alone? Have I summed that up correctly?

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 28/10/2018 08:37

Realistically how often are you going to use the workshop as a workshop? Just how much maintenance does a flat require? Sounds to me as if your dh is wanting a man cave away from the house which he can disappear to away from everyone and the responsibility. At least at the moment you both get to use the exercise equipment out of the house.

Escolar · 28/10/2018 08:37

Could you squeeze the exercise bike into your bedroom? That would solve the problem about not exercising in front of everyone, as well as it looking unsightly in the main room and having to move the kids' toys out.

Lucked · 28/10/2018 08:38

Nope. You don’t have room and you are not alone in that, lots of people can’t have gym equipment in their homes.

There is only so much you can squeeze into a small space and having someone exercising in the main communal space will be horrible for everyone else.

Childrenofthesun · 28/10/2018 08:38

I don't think the children being made to play in their rooms is the issue here. Your DH sounds very intransigent and you sound a bit overly attached to cumbersome exercise equipment that doesn't fit in your home. I would ditch the equipment altogether, do some online exercise videos instead if you don't want to/can't get to the gym and put the tools in the basement.

AvoidingDM · 28/10/2018 08:39

impractical Miscible especially when it's raining, like today!

Have you ever hear theirs no such thing as bad weather, weather is weather, only inadequate clothing!

Buy a really good cycle jacket and get out on your bike.
I did clock you are pregnant. Does he or you really think you'll be able to cycle safely in the living room when your baby is mobile? I know thats a while away but DH solution is impractical once baby arrives.

Believeitornot · 28/10/2018 08:41

Rain is not a barrier to exercising outside?! 🤣🤣

You can put the dcs toys in their bedrooms when they’re tidied away. We do this for some stuff - but they play in the living area as they do most days.

Seaweed42 · 28/10/2018 08:42

Kids that age don't play in their room on their own. Can a corner of a kids room be used for the bike? Can't you find an evening class so you can leave the house on your own?
Your DH really is all me, me, me isn't he. And a Sulker too.

Original poster
DaysDragonBy · 28/10/2018 08:49

Have you ever hear theirs no such thing as bad weather, weather is weather, only inadequate clothing!

Oh yes there is Grin Plus I'd have to cycle on the road.

OP posts:
fluffycatinahat · 28/10/2018 08:54

The next thing will be that you are all banished to your bedrooms so he can exercise in peace!

DailyMailFuckRightOff · 28/10/2018 08:56

Erm. So he gets his man cave in the basement AND his sweaty, ugly exercise equipment in the living room. The kids get essentially banished to their rooms to play. And you? Well, you get nothing out of it so you?

As another poster said, he’s being a man child. Having a workshop and a home gym area is practical.....if you live in a big enough house. A three bedroom flat doesn’t seem to warrant that, especially since you’re a family of four.

I love that he stopped talking to you when you raised doubts. Absolutely HATE this phrase but it’s Big Girl Pants time.

Original poster
DaysDragonBy · 28/10/2018 08:57

The next thing will be that you are all banished to your bedrooms so he can exercise in peace!

He took the DC down to the basement to exercise...once 😂 They're not very helpful!

OP posts:
Miscible · 28/10/2018 09:00

What on earth is wrong with either cycling in the rain or on the road? If you don't want to cycle, try running.

Quartz2208 · 28/10/2018 09:04

Yep he wants a workshop he can disappear to, time out from running and doesnt want to have to look after them

He is a selfish arse

stressedwoman · 28/10/2018 09:05

Just get one of those big rubber mats to go under the equipment and put it in the bedrooms. I definitely wouldn't have it in the living room!

Original poster
DaysDragonBy · 28/10/2018 09:07

It's cold and miserable. And the snow? The ice? And the roads here are not very safe / lunatic drivers. Running not possible for gynae reasons.

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 28/10/2018 09:09

The idea of someone stinking up the communal area while they exercise is putting my right off my breakfast.

swimmerforlife · 28/10/2018 09:09

Tbh I don't see the problem running / cycling in the rain. I use to think it was terrible, then I lost my licence for medical reasons, now have had to cycle in all weathers and it's actually not that bad.

That said I do think your DH is being a dick, he seems to want everything his own way.

Lovemusic33 · 28/10/2018 09:12

I removed all my dd’s Toys from the living room at a similar age, they are allowed to bring things down if they want to play at the table but I refused to have tubs of Lego and various toys in the corner of my living room.

Juells · 28/10/2018 09:12

Apart from anything else, with only one communal room why would you want exercise equipment in it? Isn't the equipment noisy? Nobody would be able to watch TV or any screens in peace.

Thebluedog · 28/10/2018 09:15

I hate having kids toys In the front room. I used to have a corner with boxes and toys? Hated it so they are now in their rooms, but I’d equally hate having gym equipment in the front room. It’s fod relaxing I’m not listening to your dh on a bloody excercise bike. It also sounds like the house is too small to have a gym in it

JennyHolzersGhost · 28/10/2018 09:15

Well, he’s got it all figured out very nicely for himself hasn’t he. Just the tiny inconvenient fact that you are actually a person too with equally valid opinions who also has needs and preferences but he’s clearly not going to let that stand in the way of him doing exactly what he wants.

Fresta · 28/10/2018 09:17

I wouldn't have an exercise bike or tools in my living room.
I wouldn't want tools or lots of toys either.

My dd always had a toy box in the living room with some things in that could be closed and tidied away at the end of the day- either wooden or wicker chest? At 6 and nine they are plant old enough to play in their rooms, or at least keep their toys there and bring out what they want to play with and put away again at the end of the day- they are hardly banished to their rooms if their doors open into your living area- it's not as if they are up in an attic or anything!

Why does DH need a workshop?

I'd say no to workshop, keep bike in basement, but toys kept in bedrooms is a good idea and you can enjoy the extra clutter free living space - maybe get a small desk for computer in that space!