At what age did you let your child use the stairs on their own?

[laadedaa]

Just for context, my child is 3 years and 2 months old. We still have baby gates on our town house, so 4 gates in total.
At the moment, we NEVER let him use the stairs alone. If walking upstairs, I always walk behind him or hold his hand and walk alongside him. If he's walking downstairs I will go in front and walk backwards so I can watch him, or hold his hand and walk beside him. When out and about I will always hold his hand.

I'm just wondering at what age I should be able to trust him to do it alone and let him have free range of the house?

He does have a slight visual impairment affecting depth perception.

Can't remember, mine could walk by 13/14 months and were using stair independently shortly after. Do you often need to catch your three year old to stop them falling? If not, he can do it by himself.

Falling down the stairs is actually not so bad. I did it as a child and mine have done it. My second fell several times after we moved house (aged 18months) as the stairs were different from our own house and he had a slight learning curve to adjust.
Bumps and falls are part of a happy, active, exploring childhood.

Actually mine used the stairs independently before this when crawling too.

old house, not own house.

About 2 as we’ve never used baby gates

Well, since DS1 and DS2 broke the stair gate (fatally damaging the wall in the only spot it could be fitted ), DS2 has been roaming free since he was about 18 months. We taught him to come down on his tummy or bum. Since he was 2-2.5 ish he's been walking up and down at will (eg can go upstairs to get a toy/find someone/use the other loo). At home, I'm fairly relaxed as he knows them well and they are carpeted/no turns.

In a new house, I would have checked they were safe enough to allow him to manage. Out and about in town/shopping centres etc, he might take a hand if he fancies it but usually just gets on with it. Or I will hold his hand (eg in a national trust type property with steep old stones staircases). He can manage pretty well on escalators now at just 3 but I prefer to be right beside him for those as there is more possibility of injury.

Removed the stair gates after I caught him stood on the one at the top of the stairs, ready to launch himself off. Must’ve been about 3.

Mine did stairs before they could walk unaided, we had no stairgates because we have a central staircase and nothing was wide enough to fit, both were super climbers and miraculously neither ever hurt themselves on the stairs. They are 15 months apart and I used to send DS upstairs on his own to fetch things for me when DD was little.

Taught mine to crawl up and bump down on their bottom as soon as they were able to but supervised them for ages after

I wasn’t able to carry my eldest on the stairs when pregnant, so from being 2. I had gates to stop him going upstairs, but if he was going to get a toy from his room I would open the gate and let him go. I think my youngest will be a little later.

Surely the question should be at what age do you think it's ok for your child to be out of your sight for any length of time? I lived in a bungalow with my first DD so no stairs. However, she was about 3 before I was happy with her playing in her bedroom when I wasn't in a different room. The bathroom door was always closed and there was a gate going into the kitchen from the dining area.

I honestly think age is irrelevant. It’s the same as what age did your child walk/talk. The span of normal is huge and even wider if you’re additional needs which cause difficulties.

I think letting go of his hand will help - on the way up if he trips he should fall forwards (and part of growing up is making sure you catch yourself with your hands when you fall). I don’t like mine carrying things on the stairs for this reason. Coming down perhaps walk in front of him so he will fall into you. Once you’ve been doing that without mishap for a while then he’s got the hang of it and the rest is “just” nerves about him falling. Both of mine have fallen at some point, and we all trip on the stairs at some point even as adults so there’s not a lot you can do about that unless you accompany him forever

9 months, once he could slide down backwards safely. Always knew where he was, but no stairgate.

I left our 11 month old with dp for a couple of hours. He went upstairs for a moment, leaving ds on the kitchen floor, then came out of the bathroom to find ds on the landing.
We didn’t use stair gates in the end. By 13 months, ds was perfectly capable and we just stayed close enough to catch.

Depends on the kid and the house
DS1 was about 15months but he walked well from 10months, was coordinated & had terrific balance (he was a menace when he was little)
DS2 didn't start walking until 18mths and has been negotiating the stairs on his own since just after he was 2years

However we have never had stair gates and taught them to use the stairs from the start. Our stairs aren't particularly steep, have banisters they can easily hold on to and are carpeted.

Thinking back, at 3 and 2 months, DS was climbing to the top of those giant playground spacenets and riding a bike without stabilisers. Couldn't imagine having stairgates at that age.

You are in a different situation as your child has a visual impairment though.

We removed the stair gates at age 3. We ask live in a town house with two lots of stairs. He doesn't really roam around (luckily) but ill often go ahead or behind him up and downstairs. I don't hold his hand any more. He's quite cautious child so never tries to run on the stairs and we never let him play on them.

We have just removed the baby gates this week. Our only child is 3years 9months. She's been able to use the stairs safely for a weeks now but I've only just got round to removing them.

I think it’s completely different as your DS has a visual impairment and gross motor difficulties so you just need to judge it on his needs, not what those with NT children have done.

My first has similar issues to your DS and I didn’t let her use the stairs unsupervised until quite old. My next 2 were using the stairs unsupervised from under 2. They were far more steady though and had much better balance/perception/goss motor skills so less of a risk.

In terms of asking how people trained their children, most DC without SN won’t need ‘training’ on this, it’s just something they will pick up naturally. My DC with SN was under a physio and OT and we did lots of activities to help improve motor skills, balance, perception etc which then led to her being better able to handle things like stairs.

We moved into a house with stairs when my youngest was 18mths. Neither kid had had stairs before. Our stair gate did t for, so we winged it. At 3.5 and nearly 5 they're both fine, and the only person who has fallen down the stairs is me.

Irrelevant though as your kid has eye problems. I don't do stairs without my glasses/contacts - it's terrifying!

Thank you everyone. I think I'm going to take it slowly and talk to his VI teacher.

What this post has highlighted is that he's probably more behind than I thought! Many people are saying their children can climb the gates- he's not much of a climber. Some are saying their kids go upstairs to get dressed/undressed. In terms of undressing, he can only pull his trousers down, can't do socks, pants, tops or shoes yet. And he can't do anything in terms of getting dressed. He's still not completely potty trained yet and can't do anything independently when it comes to using the toilet. He also isn't able to use a knife and fork. So on a different subject... should I be asking my health visitor if we can do another check/questionnaire thing??

In our old house we had a really weird open stair case from our living room. We had a stair gate on the landing to stop DD falling down if she came out of her room in the night but couldn't get one that fitted the bottom. The stairs were a great source of entertainment for her and she could navigate them independently before she could walk. I used to position myself on the stairs, could watch TV and be ready to catch if necessary but she'd be up and down on hands and knees first. This meant I was always quite confident with her on the stairs. However, she had no visual issues. If that had been the case I think I might have thought differently.

Laadedaa, at least with my ds, he may have been scaling the stairs on his own at 11 months but he didn’t speak until 25 months.

Sometimes they just do things in a different order. Normal seems to have very wide range.

My DD was using the stairs at 3 but not unsupervised. She's was very unsteady on her feet (turned out she had foot issues). We had to get those super tall stair gates though as she was getting over the small ones. You can't watch them all the time so it's better to be safe than sorry. She once put on a fairy costume was sat on the sofa, thought she could fly and jumped off the back 😵 I dread to think if she'd been at the top of the stairs 😳

We never had baby gates in place, as my DS just wasn't interested in going up and down stairs by himself until he was about 30 months. He was in a cot until well over 3 years old and he couldn't reach the door handles until a few months ago (he's 3,5 now and short). He will go up and down by himself now, if we can we keep an eye, but he does come out of bed now and downstairs in the evening some times.

However, in your position OP, I would want to make sure he is capable of safely using them by himself, as I can imagine it's hard in his case (I have similar vision issues myself without my glasses). If it helps, my son still 'crawls' up and down. So, he goes down backwards and up on his knees as he can only just reach the rail. He will now ask for a hand to hold to walk up or down, but if it's just him he will go on his knees.

My son in 19m and we are still learning. Im in no way ready to let him go up and down yet. However, we have a turn at the top of the stairs, and the bottom starts in our kitchen with tiled floor, plus he sometimes turns halfway up/down to go the other way so, no he's not ready to go independently yet.