At what age did you let your child use the stairs on their own?

[laadedaa]

Just for context, my child is 3 years and 2 months old. We still have baby gates on our town house, so 4 gates in total.
At the moment, we NEVER let him use the stairs alone. If walking upstairs, I always walk behind him or hold his hand and walk alongside him. If he's walking downstairs I will go in front and walk backwards so I can watch him, or hold his hand and walk beside him. When out and about I will always hold his hand.

I'm just wondering at what age I should be able to trust him to do it alone and let him have free range of the house?

He does have a slight visual impairment affecting depth perception.

Actually nursery is a good point.

My kids all started a preschool with stairs the month they turned 3, and were expected to be able to use stairs with 3 teachers escorting 24 children. The big "sport hall" indoor running about area was in a basement, and the whole place was like a large house over 3 floors.

Visual impairment in the OP's case is obviously a factor, but I'd think it's time to encourage him to use the stairs without a hand to hold but with a parent located a few steps lower just in case!

Around 2 I think . Had a gate on the top of the stairs until then .

My DD is three and has probably been going up and down stairs on her own for about a year now. We have a few steep concrete stairs outside our front door so I always hold her hand down those.

I taught my daughter to get up the stairs as soon as she could crawl. We had a stair gate at the top of the stairs that we closed when we were all up there. Once she started to walk (around 14m) I taught her how to come down the stairs safely. She's been able to do that from around 18 months i think. She's 2 now and can easily go up and down on her own but she doesn't unless I'm going upstairs

We never had stair gate at the bottom of the stairs so the DC just get better at crawling up a few and then coming back down and then going a bit higher etc. We did have a stair gate at the top once DC2 started crawling but that was to contain them to a particular floor when I was in the shower or something rather than because I was worried about the stairs.

I think that's good advice @TwittleBee. I guess I should just start by letting go of his hand.

He does miss the edge of kerbs (curbs?) and steps when we're in unfamiliar places. So I always have to tell him 'step down now/step up', but I don't know if that's his visual impairment or because he's become reliant on me telling him and doesn't bother looking.

I think I need to break this cycle. So can I ask how you trained your children to become independent on the stairs?

So with a visual impairment & delayed motor skills then it’s unsurprising that you are taking a different approach.

The experiences on here are irrelevant as you are likely to receive answers from parents of children who don’t have those additional challenges (where the standard answer seems to be 2ish), whereas you know your child best & if you feel the need to monitor longer then fair enough.

No one can answer the question in this instance in a way that is relevant to you without knowing your child surely?

DD is 2.5 and has been doing the stairs without me watching for probably 2-3 months or so? It kind of happened accidentally organically.. also have DS who is seven months and also live in a townhouse! Especially after DS got heavier, I couldn't really take them both everywhere with me, so used to leave DD downstairs whilst I put DS up in his cot for a nap.. inevitably I would sometimes forget to shut the stairgate and DD would follow me up..

I think after 2, they say having stairgates is actually more dangerous than not having them? Due to risk of climbing etc? I think unless your DS has any additional physical needs, at his age you are being a bit precious. Obviously you know your son though and if you think he's at high risk of tripping/falling then carry on.. Though I think you need to get to the point of trusting them/letting them develop their independence.. Obviously I am with her most of the time but it doesn't really worry me when she does go up by herself (too many other things to worry about! ) DD still sometimes wants to hold my hand walking down the stairs but at other times it's "No, mummy! I want to walk by myself!". And I also know someone who was carrying her two-year-old downstairs, tripped and the DC broke her ankle So stairs are a risk no matter how they're navigated.

I taught mine to slowly bump down on their bums first. Sometimes they still ask me to bump them down for a laugh.

Sorry, I completely missed the visual impairment part of your post Maybe stay a bit further back each time? So maybe start off by being on the step behind him, then two steps behind, then three, etc? Going upstairs is less dangerous than down so maybe master up first.

About 2.5. Crawling up the stairs is probably a lot safer so maybe encourage that when he is on his own? I would still hold hands when when out and about on steep concrete steps. In fact I have only just stopped holding DS1 s hand out and about on concrete steps and he is almost 7.

X-post, sorry! If you think he is ok to do it then just let him do it & walk behind him going up & ahead going down - make sure he knows to fall forward if he feels unsteady going up & to hold the rail and sit down if he feels unsteady going down.

With curbs and road crossing you’ve got a lot longer to worry about it - you’ll be holding hands crossing roads for a lot longer and if he needs a reminder/warning of a curb then he’ll be learning to anticipate them. It sounds like you’re doing a great job - don’t worry!

I don't think there should be an "age" with eldest the stairgate were kept up until he was 4, as he always woke for the the toilet in the night and I had this fear that he would fall down them if trying to go down half asleep!

Youngest is 2.5 and I wouldn't trust her to walk up or down fully alone. I do encourage her to do it as if she was alone though, i.e. she holds on to the rail or bumps down the stairs as opposed to me holding on but I'm always there.

When they can be trusted you can slowly withdraw and trust them alone I find it happens more naturally than just saying an age to stop. That being said many children start school at 4 and no one will be holding their hands up or down the stairs then so I think they should ideally be physically capable by then to do it without support.

Is his visual impairment being monitored by a health care team? Could you ask for advice on managing its impact on mobility? It sounds as though it might be a theme he'll need minor adjustments for at school etc.

18 months I think. They're 22 months now & walk up and down fine.

Does he have monocular vision? Ds2 does and I haven't noticed any difference in how he does/sees things compared with ds1. It's all he's ever known and doesn't seem to be a problem.

We had stair gates as our stairs are horrid. Steep and narrow and 90° turn 3 from the bottom. Adults fall on them so stair gates were there for a while, then I stood at the bottom to catch if they fell (although only did it once). Can't remember ages.

I struggle with depth perception, when I was a similar age to your son I had some therapy to teach me how to feel for ages with my feet and use other reference points for changes in level. I still need to be careful in new places and DH does say step etc when he's with me but I can do it independently when I'm alone it just takes more care.

It's not really age related, it's just a case of when they can safely negotiate the stairs then that's when you remove the gates.

It should be feel for edge's not ages in my previous post.

This really needs to depend on the child - especially given his impairment. The good thing is that as he's a bit older he may be better able to understand reasoning.
Start slow and just let him do it on his own but with you to catch and progress a bit further each day. If he has a small fall into your arms don't panic - he needs to learn the consequence of not being careful in a managed way.

About 3 and I still kept an eye on them.

I'm at the idea of 18 month olds freely roaming the house and unsupervised on stairs.

Never had a stairgate.

Taught mine really early on to slide down on his tummy (feet first!) and he eventually learnt to walk both ways holding a handrail.

My DS was about 2 when he went up and down by himself . I would keep a vague eye on him at first but when I realised he was confident I let him go up and down as he pleases. Anyone can fall down the stairs regardless of age so I wouldn't worry too much . The more experience he has doing it alone the better he will get. Try and keep a sort of distant eye next time and see how he does.

Have a now 5 year old dc with visual impairment and delay. He still asks to hold hand on stairs and has only in the last few months started walking up and down them he would usually slide down on his bum and crawl up them. He still at times when tired crawl and suffle up and down. I always near him on the stairs.

Honestly can't remember. DD2 has dyspraxia - so very poor coordination and absolutely fuck all spatial awareness but was still doing stairs independently in her own style (she's only just started using alternate feet to do it now and she's nearly 6) from a fairly early age - I just taught her to go down on her bum to start with and left her to figure out copying her older sister from there.

Actually she's never fallen on the stairs come to think of it - considering she could fall over the floor in an empty room that's a fair achievement.