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Original poster

What causes people to become trans?

92 replies

ForeverIsALongTime · 22/10/2018 23:15

I'm not posting in the feminism board because I want quite a varied response from people who may not share the same opinion. I've seen so many threads on here relating to transgender and it's something I really don't know much about.

I feel terribly sorry for anyone who feels they were born in the wrong body. I find this a difficult concept to comprehend because our physical exterior shouldn't have to dictate anything in our lives. It shouldn't have to determine anything more than our biology.

Do people think that it's society having separate categories for boys & girls which makes people feel like they're in the wrong body? For example, boys clothes/girls clothes, brownies/cubs etc? I know as a society there aren't so many divides between the sexes as there once was. I'm almost 30 and we had a separate boys playground and girls playground at school. I suppose if I had grown up feeling as though i would have felt more comfortable in the boys playground than the girls playground and felt more comfortable at cubs than brownies and in the boys clothes than the girls clothes, maybe I would now feel as though I had been trapped in the wrong body all those years. The real issue in that situation though would be the divides we had created, rather than the person actually having the wrong genitalia?

I may be way off the mark and I'm really hoping to be educated by some people who are more knowledgable on this topic. It's such a big issue these days and it's something I feel I should understand better than I do.

OP posts:
TerfedOff · 22/10/2018 23:21

I think this is one result of the massive drive to stupidly gender label everything pink or blue. It's ridiculous IMO.

AGHHHH · 23/10/2018 01:16

I agree TerfedOff

IdaBWells · 23/10/2018 01:26

When I was a child growing up (1970s) toys seemed a lot LESS gendered. Most toys we played with with very open ended. One of our favorites was wooden cube blocks with cuts in and large sheets of plywood and we could create our own hideouts and forts. We also played a lot more outside then kids do now and I wonder if being inside on tablets/phones prevents less outward exploration and more internal pondering? Also influenced by others outside your immediate world such as youtubers which just didn't happen before everyone had a phone, well it was even before personal computers!

averageisgood · 23/10/2018 01:26

It is the stereotyping of gender roles, feminine=pink, sparkles, glitters unicorns, make up, dresses and heels, getting your tits out, blah blah. Masculine=blue, big muscles, strength, aggressive, forceful, no emotion except anger and aggression. Some people who don't fit these stereotypes feel out of place and want to opt out of having to make such ridiculous choices.

florenceheadache · 23/10/2018 01:29

i recently read it is tied to past sexual abuse (i didn't keep the link)

RoboJesus · 23/10/2018 01:43

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Neshoma · 23/10/2018 08:44

I would say the acceptance and encouragement of some agencies/SM/groups. eg Tommy is 5 and likes to dress as a fairy - school/SS/parents think he is transgender, start all sorts of therapy and it leads to a normal child being confused and going along with things to avoid 'hurting' people.

Some do it for attention and shock. A small majority do it just for themselves.

Rockbird · 23/10/2018 08:50

But there have been gender splits since the dawn of time. It's glitter and unicorns now but there has always been a divide, that's just the latest thing.

I genuinely do not understand what people mean when they say they were born into the wrong sex when most people can't articulate what makes them feel male or female. If I as a woman can't put my finger on what makes me feel female, then I don't understand how someone who wasn't born female can be so sure?

DaisyDreaming · 23/10/2018 08:51

I think of it as people who from very early feel they are in the wrong body. I feel female, I can’t imagine looking down and seeing a male body, being expected to use male toilets and referred to as he all the tine. Luckily for me I feel female and I have a female body.

I don’t know what causes those later in life to become trans

RiverTam · 23/10/2018 08:52

I think that a small number of people suffer from the severe mental health condition that is sex dysphoria. That should be treated as a mental health issue, like anorexia.

Everyone else - well, yes, hyper-genderization doesn't help, but equally grown adults should know not to conflate sex with gender and either with personality. Autism presents far more highly as well. Often with children the same things come up over and over again, which is why one shouldn't simply accept a child's statement that they feel like the opposite sex. Identical twins, a sibling with long tern health problems, and yes, abuse might all be part of the picture.

It's worth noting that the idea of not being your own sex rather than wanting to be the opposite sex comes up.

And then there are common-or-garden fetishists, the AGPs who get a kick out of being perceived as a woman.

in no case should the lie that it's possible to change sex be presented as a 'cure'.

HumptyNumptyNooNoo · 23/10/2018 08:56

Why can't everyone just get on with everyone else . It's such a shame to fight/fall out/ make waves over anything. We are all only on this beautiful planet for a short while . Just live and let live.

pancaketosser · 23/10/2018 08:57

I can understand why teenage girls in particular would find it appealing to have a way to 'identify out of' being a girl/woman in society. As a teen I didn't like being a girl, my body wasn't growing how I wanted it to, normal teen girl stuff. I didn't feel I was like the other girls. We had the internet fairly early in my house and if someone had told me then that maybe I was really a boy, I honestly think I would have run with it.

continuallychargingmyphone · 23/10/2018 09:00

The most common reason is literally wanting to be someone else. If you take that feeling and we have all felt it but the idea of quite literally wanting to be a different person is appealing, or can be.

Mary Bell for example wanted to transition to become a man - she said in later interviews that it was about leaving her previous awful deeds behind her.

It’s almost a rebirth of sorts I suppose.

WongaGoneWronga · 23/10/2018 09:02

Honestly, this a bad place to try and learn and understand as there's a crazy amount of misinformation being presented as fact.

The best way to work towards understanding transgender people is to read or listen to their accounts of how they feel and what it's like, and to believe them.

olderthanyouthink · 23/10/2018 09:05

Because some people really don't like the stereotypes that are applied to their sex so they think they must but the other sex. Rather than just being like fuck it if I want to have "pretty" things or long/short hair then I will I don't care if that's not what most people of my sex do.

shapeshifter88 · 23/10/2018 09:09

when you think of how complex it is to make a human and everything that can go 'wrong', i don't find it too hard to imagine theres some genetic or wiring or whatever mix up that causes it.

BreakYourselfAgainstMyStones · 23/10/2018 09:19

My child describes it as just feeling wrong.

They say it's like being conscious about having a huge nose. You can disguise it with make up or whatever you want but you're always aware that you don't feel quite right and become completely self conscious. Some people might come to terms with that feeling, but others will go on to have surgery.

I would say my child has body dysmorphia rather than 'a feeling' of being a different gender.

RiverTam · 23/10/2018 09:21

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darkriver198868 · 23/10/2018 09:23

In my ex husbands case I believe it was because of abuse he experienced as a child . According to him his mum abused him because he was a girl.

darkriver198868 · 23/10/2018 09:24

*He wasn't a girl.

Cakemonger · 23/10/2018 09:25

A lot of people feel uncomfortable with the rigid gender rules we are forced to conform to from birth. That is to be expected in such a sexist society and doesn't mean they are transgender. I don't know any transgender people and don't know a whole lot about it but I imagine it's a lot more profound than simply not fitting these roles. I imagine it's like being gay, it's just who you are inside. I find a lot of what is said about transgender people to be incredibly bigoted. Remember people said that being gay was an illness once.

BreakYourselfAgainstMyStones · 23/10/2018 09:27

Believe me, I am anything but casual about it.

Merely repeating what my child tells me because the op asked.

I am not sterilizing or going down any medical route with my child while I'm able to make choices, and have put myself in a shit load of debt to pay private counsellors to help my child deal with their feelings because the NHS is woefully inadequate in that regard.

I am the mother of a child who identifies as trans though so therefore the devil incarnate and monstrous Hmm

Cakemonger · 23/10/2018 09:34

I would say my child has body dysmorphia rather than 'a feeling' of being a different gender

That's informative BreakYourself, thank you. I did think it was a case of feeling a different gender inside

mostdays · 23/10/2018 09:34

Birth. Hth.

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