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Original poster

3 children

33 replies

queenofgoogle · 21/10/2018 20:41

IF you have 3 DC, how did you decide to have a third and how did your life change from going to 3 from 2DC. Is it much more difficult to find time money etc.?
I have 2 but I've always wanted 3, but i worry about how I'm going to cope. I hope f one with 2 but not so sure I would with a third.
I'm also enjoying having freedom again now that youngest is 4

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Original poster
queenofgoogle · 21/10/2018 20:43

cope fine with 2*

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Original poster
queenofgoogle · 21/10/2018 22:01

nobody

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atomicfission · 21/10/2018 22:06

Sorry i don't have 3 so can't personally shed any light! But one of my colleagues said the main difference is that you need to change your mindset from "man-marking" to "zonal defence" 😉

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Families
namechangedtoday15 · 21/10/2018 22:11

There was exactly the same thread yesterday!

dangermouseisace · 21/10/2018 22:24

It’s impossible to be in 3 different places at one time.

It’s harder to fit 3 children in things...cars, holiday homes, houses.

It’s more expensive.

Losing a child can become a regular occurrence. You have to count them all the time. 1, 2...shit...

When they get older they gang up on you!

But I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Original poster
queenofgoogle · 21/10/2018 22:31

namechanged I can't find the thread so I would still be grateful for other peoples experiences.
thanks to those who've replied.
Is it such a big change from 2 to 3?
I've heard people say once youve got 2 already then it doesn't make much difference but I do love the time I get to spend with both DC at the moment.

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3in4years · 21/10/2018 22:42

3 children to love.
3 sibling relationships instead of 1 (between 2 siblings), plus the 2+1 combinations (between siblings + parents).
So the dynamic changes a lot.
It's so much richer, more interesting... imo
Of course it's busy and tiring and expensive but I can't think of anything better to spend my energy and money on.
3 is wonderful.
Mine are 4, 2 and baby.

Lollipop30 · 21/10/2018 22:43

Number 3 was totally unexpected but wonderful.

Mine are all under 5 do I can’t really talk about sibling rivalries or friendships etc but at the minute it’s great.

3 seats fit fine, no real extra expense...yet
The first three months were very hard but I think that’s because of having such a small age gap, she’s only 9mths now But just slots in easily

7Days · 21/10/2018 22:47

I had 3 in 5 years. The youngest just turned 4 and I've just emerged, blinking, into the light. Apparently Donald Trump is President of the US. That's a turn up, eh?

I think the number of kids doesn't matter so much as their personalities. You could keep going having chilled kids but eventually you'll have the child that makes up your mind to get your tubes tied.

Logistically, 3 is much harder than 2. It's not very earth mother to think of logistics, but it's much easier to be earth mother if you don't have to. Cars, holidays, typical affordable homes, as time goes on think of swimming x 3, or soccer, drama and Katie's party all in at the same time.

My 3 kids are in a flowing tide of alliances, enmities and betrayals. That's still way better than a definite 2 and 1 dynamic.

I'm a shadow and often think I should have only had 2, but then, looking at those 3 wonderful kids how could Ipick only 2?

If you're only dithering about a third, don't do it. Unless you're mad keen, cannot ever be satisfied until you have a third, stick with two.

Pinkhorses · 21/10/2018 22:52

I don’t have three but from the outside it looks like a lot of hard work.
If you invite a couple with one or even child to dinner, they go off and play and the adults get a whole evening to socialise . I find that with people that have 3 , there’s always one child that’s demanding their parents attention so not a lot of fun to be around.
Also when school age it makes driving to activities more of a hassle as you can’t really lift share so easily as your car is already full with your own kids.
It’s harder to ask someone for a little childcare with three - it’s too many to take on.

nocluenoidea · 21/10/2018 23:00

I think given your youngest is 4 and in school it would take a lot of pressure away from you and you'd be fine.
I live in Australia and it's pretty much the norm here to have 3 children, though cost of raising children is cheaper (outdoor activities), houses and cars are bigger etc.
We're currently expecting our third (and and final) baby, and there will only be 3 1/2 years between oldest and youngest. So I can't comment on my experience with 3 just yet but I have to say I'm slightly terrified (even though it was all planned!)!

Outnumb3red · 21/10/2018 23:07

I have 3 DC. 10, 5 & 2.
Can't say I noticed a huge difference when DC3 was born. Luckily my dc are all good sleepers, eaters etc.
Finding this stage a bit more challenging at the moment. 2yo is going through the typical toddler stage, 100 miles an hour and has discovered tantrums/screaming.
He is also quite adept at winding up his siblings, as they all are to each other tbh.
When it's good it's very good. When it's bad, it passes.

Original poster
queenofgoogle · 21/10/2018 23:11

The childcare is something I worry about as I can barely get family to look after 2, they say yes to 1 only.
The money is another thing, we are fine now but it would be harder with 3.
I am one of 2 and I always wanted another sibling growing up, my brother was not interested in spending time with me at all.
I just have this stupid feeling that I'm going to regret it once they're older.

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WindDoesNotBreakTheBendyTree · 21/10/2018 23:13

mine are 14, nearly 12 and 8
having a third baby and being small was a breeze tbh
it's harder now in the teens and tweens imo

TeddyBee · 21/10/2018 23:14

Don’t do it. I had a hankering for a third, which I was pretty much over when I fell pregnant after a contraceptive blunder. She’s adorable, and lovely, and much loved. But Jesus is it a fuck ton harder than two was. So much harder. So much. Honestly. She’s turned four and it hasn’t gotten any easier. I lose one all the time when we’re out. The girls gang up on the boy. The big two are mean to the little one. They all want to eat different things at dinner time. Don’t do it.

Original poster
queenofgoogle · 21/10/2018 23:14

nocluenoidea that's exactly what I'm thinking that the fact that both older th3 would be in school most of the day so it's be easier for me to spend time with the youngest and take some pressure away.
DP takes them both to activities at the weekend and although 9 times out of 10 I go too, I'm not really needed so id get time with baby weekend mornings too.

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ladybirdsaredotty · 21/10/2018 23:14

Adore all of my 3 but I find it pretty overwhelming at the moment to be honest. There is just always something that needs doing, in a way there wasn't with only 2. Mine are all under 8, though, although I think some stuff will get harder, eg the logistics of clubs/playdates...

damekindness · 21/10/2018 23:15

I had three and really the only downside is that it made a total of five and odd numbers are really awkward when food buying...that was about it 

BackforGood · 21/10/2018 23:25

I have 3. Found 2 - 3 by far the easiest adjustment, and I'd say I've enjoyed being parent to the third, the most. You kind of rela a bit, and have worked out what is / isn't important / worth getting stressed about.
I like the fact that there is always another one to be with annoy when one is out. As they've got older, they get on really really well, though there was lots of fighting when they were little. Wouldn't have it any other way.

Yellowcar2 · 21/10/2018 23:42

I have recently had my third. DS5 DD2 and now DD18weeks.

I do find it very hard to catch up on sleep (I am constantly tired) as when the baby naps my toddler is wide awake. Things like the school run also more difficult getting 3 little people ready. Struggle to fit 3 car seats, pram and bags in car, quite often feels like real life tetris!

As mine are all quite young I haven’t had much experience of the extra cost but I'm sure that will come. Yes adhoc childcare much more tricky, it's hard for family to take all 3. DH and I tend to go out separately whilst the other has the children.

Love the fact we went for 3 (originally planned 2) she brings a smile to our face everyday and my older 2 adore her. Let's hope it stays that way!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 22/10/2018 00:00

I hated being the middle child so no, I wouldn't want to go through that with my own DC. I have 2 , happy with 2.

Stupomax · 22/10/2018 00:14

An unexpected plus for us of having 3 is that when the oldest decided she wanted to go to boarding school at 14, it meant we still had 2 at home to keep each other company.

I've never regretted having 3. If you were going to make decisions about how many children to have based on practicalities and finances then surely you'd have none Grin

JumpingJetFlash · 22/10/2018 07:28

I am one of three and I hated it - I would always say that three is a terrible number. Odd numbers meant that one was always left out whilst the other two were thick as thieves. It might be because we were all girls but it made swathes of my childhood pretty lonely.

Original poster
queenofgoogle · 22/10/2018 12:47

sad to hear so many people hated being one of three Sad. I definitly wouldn't want my children to feel left out. I don't know why o have this overwhelming feeling that I'm going to regret not having a third.
maybe partly due to the fact that I was one of 2 and now my parents say they wish they'd had one more.

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