Son refuses to give up dummy aged almost 7

[Wry1]

Dear all, instead of throwing away our son's dummies when he was 2 in the belief he would give them up of his own accord, I and hubby allowed him to keep on with the habit. Result: he's now nearly 7 and goes ballistic if we hide the things, let alone throw them away! Should we just get tough and banish them completely or allow him to give up in his own time meaning at this rate braces are a certainty?? He only wants the dummy when he's home and the outside world can't see. He's asthmatic and celiac which already cause him quite a bit of frustration due to missed school and sports activities as well forbidden foods. Thanks for your thoughts

Be tough, in the nicest way possible having a dummy at 7 is ridiculous.

Be strong OP, good luck!

DD is 15 and still sucks her thumb. Unfortunately no way to chuck that away! Luckily her teeth are perfect however she does have an indent on her inner lip where her thumb sits (luckily you can't tell from outside her mouth). That nail varnish stuff never worked with her as she just persevered through it! No clue how to fix hers but OP would recommend that you try to fix it quickly! x

I recently found out that a friend of mine had a soother (at night only) until she was nine. Shrug. She's perfectly normal with lovely teeth.

I think, aside from the dental issue, this is a non-problem. The idea that something which gives comfort, and harms exactly nobody, should be got rid of because it's not quite the norm - it's rubbish. Lots of people have habits that relieve stress, and this is a pretty benign one.

The teeth are the concern (although it's clearly not the case that everyone who uses a soother past a certain age will have huge dental problems). Are braces in the offing? Could you compromise by only having it at bedtime, and try to gradually wean off?

Sorry op, I haven't had time to read the whole thread so apologies if I'm repeating what's already been said.

It sounds like it's time for some tough love I'm afraid. We recently had a similar situation with 8yo ds who was a lifelong thumb sucker. We'd been half heartedly trying to get him to give it up for years but a trip to the dentist spurred us on. He only ever sucked it when going to sleep so we found a hypnosis track which really helped and then he independently came up with the idea of putting a sock on his hand to stop his thumb sneaking in. We also came up with something he really wanted as a prize for persevering. Ultimately we talked to him about it and encouraged him to understand how and why it was important - and that meant he decided to put the effort into stopping.

Good luck!!

I don't know. I was a thumb sucker till my teens. I needed braces on my teeth but lots of children do. Your boy has a lot on his plate health-wise, and will give them up one day when he might want to go on sleepovers & summer camps. I think I'd be conflicted too. Maybe sucking soothes his tummy.

I had similar problems with my son albeit we did it when he started school. The first attempt when he was three went like this...Santa was going to take it. He left it out for him and he took it. By 4pm on xmas day he was pleading with us to ring Santa and ask him to take all his presents away and bring his dummy back. We ended up "finding" one Santa must have missed!

From then on it was restricted to bed time only and never left his bedroom and was only used when it was lights out sleep time. We took him to the dentist who showed him that he could put his finger between his teeth when his back teeth were together and explained that this wasn't good. Thereafter we agreed that the day he left nursery he would throw it in the bin.

The day came, he had raging tonsillitis and was very ill. We were convinced he wouldn't be able to let it go, but he did, because he was in control of it and that was that.

Could you do something similar with your son, this next week whilst he's off school, wean him slowly off it and agree that such a day it is going in the bin and that is that. If he's resistant tell him it's for babies and if he wants it, he has to wear a nappy, go to bed early and give up his electronics and be treated like a baby...or similar..hopefully you get my gist.

Good luck x

This evening I was telling hubby about the many tips I received on this thread and that despite the odd call for leniency the consensus was that the dummies must go. DS craftily got the drift of our conversation and like a flash voluntarily handed over his dummy saying could he have it back please to go to sleep :D He had it in his mouth for about five minutes tonight - I whipped it out as soon as he nodded off. He's realised his dummy is an endangered species, which is progress. Thanks everyone!

That’s brilliant OP. Sounds like he
is in theory ready to give it up
If he handed it over unprompted. I
Reckon it will soon be gone judging by tonight.

Your child's teeth will be damaged all because you couldn't be arsed with a few nights tantrums.
Tell him that he's too old and it has to go to the tooth fairy tonight, Google image photos of children's teeth ruined by a dummy, ask if he wants to look like that forever and have a speech impediment all because mam and dad didn't want to toughen up for a few days

Be a parent and Chuck them! The fact that his teeth are growing inwards is entirely YOUR fault.

I really don't understand threads like this.

I’ve been through similar with a very stubborn 8 year old thumb sucker.

We have so so so many conversations about the impact on teeth. We went to the dentist who basically read the riot act to her. Nothing helped at all.

Then one day, she complained her bottom gums were sore - they were receding from the thumb sucking. It scared her so much that she stopped immediately. Bribes, nail paint, literally nothing else worked until she was ready. Then it was the easiest thing ever.

My DS still used his dummy to sleep until 5 years of age. We had a plan that at Christmas he would leave it out for Santa to take for the babies who needed it more than him. However that term at school he had a friend who was very scathing over anything 'babyish' and I could tell DS wanted to give it up as he wanted to be a grown up boy so we set up a rewards system for the nights he could do without it. By the Christmas he was barely using it when we left it for Santa who bought him a cuddly toy to sleep with as a replacement.

I kept the dummy in the back of the cupboard in case of emergency and found it clearing out 10 years later.

When our DD turns 3 it's going! I already hate it but haven't got the fight yet. She only has it at night but it's getting too the point where it's starting to impact speech and teeth.

Be strong and remember it much better in the long run.

If he's just chewing it, can you replace with some Chewlery...chewable stuff for SEN kids. It comes in all shapes and sizes.
We had some Chewigem stuff when DD needed it www.chewigem.co.uk/shop/

ASD/SLD son here, we stopped his dummies when he was 8 years old (only had them for bedtime). We did it by taking them on holiday and then "forgetting" to bring them home again, so he'd had a change of environment and was returning to a familiar environment.

“endanger species” great start.
On the perchance you have more than one of those suckers (😉) hanging around. Get rid of all but the one.

I took DC’s dummies away just before she turned 2 and was surprised by how easy it was. However, getting rid of the bedtime bottle was a real battle. I think it is a case of being consistent, so when you decide the dummies are going (whatever way you decide to do it) I’d advise sticking with it and not backing down.

I’ve read before about a significant number of adults who still suck their thumbs, albeit in secret, so don’t feel too bad that your son still has a dummy, as I’m certain he isn’t the only one at his age. Could you incorporate them doing with Christmas and promise an extra big gift in exchange for him not using a dummy again?

Good luck.

I have a dd with autism who also has coeliac. She’s non verbal still at 5 and we ditched her much loved dummy at 3 as we could see it causing issues with her teeth. It was very very hard and presented a lot of issues but at 7 with no Sen you need to be tough and get rid.

How did it go OP?
DD1 only gave up her dummies this summer just before her 6th birthday. She ADORED them. Wouldn't give them up no matter what we tried. Eventually she just handed them over to us in exchange for a toy, completely unprovoked. I'm sure that your DS will be fine, as long as he is on board. DD2 is 2.5 though, and is even more attached to it than DD1 (if that's possible.) Hopefully she'll give it up in her own time too.
Good luck, and don't be hard on yourself.

If you saw the mess my cousin made of her teeth from sucking her fingers

You do really need to sort the asthma. Uncontrolled asthma is much worse than dummies.
And stop letting him tantrum to get his own way.

Tell him that if he’s old enough to be able to play on a tablet he’s old enough not to have a dummy. He chooses. One or the other goes in the bin.