Major travel FAIL

[talllikejerryhall]

I am not in Greece right now, nursing a glass of rose while my daughter frolics on the beach. I am sat in slightly chilly hotel room, ten minutes from Gatwick airport, gradually recovering from the horror of this morning.

We were on time. All was well. We’d gone to pret, had some porridge, it was 430am, but who cares, we were off to GREECE, baby!

I have a little pootle around the shops, come back and DH says he’s gonna pop to WH Smith with DD. I’m like yeah, cool.

Then, I wait. Then wait some more. I’m beginning to feel alarmed as it’s 530 and our flight’s at 5.55.

Can’t see em. I call his various phones (man’s got more phones than a drug dealer) and can’t get through (though not a good one).

Then, I see them like distant specks in the flow of airport humanity.

I’m like WTF dude, we are gonna be late!

Look at the board with alarm to see our destinations isn’t there 🤔

Grab some guy with a lanyard and beg him to tell me which gate to go to - he’s nice, starts fiddling with his phone (probably a little frightened). His internet won’t connect.

A cold sweat is beginning to form - we run to the information kiosk where an overweight blonde lady is asking a making an inquiry about the vegan options on her flight.

She can see by the crazed look on my face that now is a good time to step aside.

The easyJet lady gives it to me straight: you’ve missed the flight - the gate closed five minutes ago.

But she gives me the gate number! 🙌

And I live in a beautiful place called Triumphant Denial - so I shout DH and jog heavily, lugging DD in ever more uncomfortable positions. Out of my way folks, we have a plane to catch 🙋🏻‍♀️

We finally get there and i see the EasyJet lady and I beg - implore her - to let us on the flight, tears filling my eyes.

She has no idea what the hell im talking about - she just got here and she’s opening the gate for the next flight.

The penny is dropping through the air... and thud. We have missed the goddamn flight. I look at DH all ready to lose my shit, but you know what - losing my shit isn’t going to magically transport us to Thessaloniki. My rage is an awesome thing, but it doesn’t propel me though the sky - I KNOW THIS.

So we trudge back up to the information kiosk and EasyJet lady is sat there looking at us with a mixture of mild derision and pity - the pity was the WORST. We sit there waiting to be taking back through security, looking like the most miserable, unhappy, opposite-of-holiday-makers gang you could imagine. Like, hmmm I don’t think I wanna get on a plane with those weirdos, they literally look suicidal.

We are joined the other idiots who somehow managed to miss their flights WHILE IN THE AIRPORT. No one’s making eye contact.

We rebook our flights for tomorrow and agree that waking up at 2am in woodford is too ground hog day for words and besides we are TIRED.

So here I am, listening to DD gently snore and recording the tale of our epic idiocy, trying to get DH to pore through the travel insurance to see if here is any way we can somehow recoup the £400 we’ve spent on this almighty screw up. He says that there’s no insurance for being an idiot.

But hope springs eternal.

You know what is REALLY annoying about this whole fiasco? He didn’t even BUY the thing he was queuing for, cause he got tired of waiting.

Lessons learned
Sitting around at the gate for 40 minutes is better than missing flight. .

Well done on not losing your shit. I would have had people staring at me open mouthed whilst I ranted like a fishwife.

Omg. What time did the gate close?

we run to the information kiosk where an overweight blonde lady is asking a making an inquiry about the vegan options on her flight.

Maybe overweight but I bet she's loving her vegan meal on the flight she didn't miss.

Mint rolls... I was just about to say the same

You think insurance should pay out for your DH going for a walk when he should have been boarding his flight?

Also, your bags are in Greece so I suppose you’re there in spirit

Mintrolls - you're right, that was mean

Ouch feel for you
You’ll have to update us when you finally get to lively Greece.

I don't get it - why did you miss your flight ?

Surely bags would have been offloaded

So you were fannying about, missed your flight, and you're contacting your insurance company about it?

Have you flown before? Did you read the information on your ticket?

I've never missed a flight before, and have been on tons of holidays over course of my life - don't know what made us so dense this time?

Has anyone else done anything equally ridiculous I could take comfort from?

Good point LIZS

Actually it’s raised another point. They usually do announcements of passengers have checked in but not gone through the gate. “Last call for gate number 4 flight EZY218 to Greece.” “Call for passengers smith and jones to go directly to gate number 4, flight is boarding.” Etc.

How did you not hear all those calls OP?

Yep, bags definitely unloaded. Hopefully you at least have your clean underwear & toothbrush for overnight

I know a family who turned up at the airport 24 hours late for their flight. They rebooked for the following day, turned up in plenty of time only to find DD was too old to travel on mother's passport. So, booked another flight, hammered down the motorway to get her a passport and eventually got on holiday. It poured with rain the whole time.......

So what time actually was your flight, if it had gone off the board at 5.30 but you thought it was 5.55?

Insurance won't pay out. For future reference, the gate shuts a while before departure time to give people time to board and be seated before take-off. Planes aren't like buses or trains (and even trains shut the doors a minute or two before departure for safety.

I once almost missed aa fight because I was sitting reading my book and assumed they would announce my flight. Turns out they only display them on the board. Luckily I looked up just in time to see "last call" flashing.
I'd only ever flown from our tiny local airport before where they announce all the flights.

Ever thought of writing comedy for a living, talllikejerryhall? Sorry that your morning has been costly and shit but your telling 9f it really made me laugh. I'd take myself off to the bar if I were you. Hope your holiday is brilliant though 🌞

You only started to get alarmed at 5.30? I thought the gates close half an hour before the flight so you should have been moving towards the gate at 5am. And yes, how did you miss the tannoy calls? They are relentless!

Oh dear, op. I have nightmares about situations like this in the run up to holidays but they are usually about forgetting to pack or getting stuck in traffic, never actually missing a flight due to being a twat stuck in a shop queue

I'm intrigued about the room for idiots who miss their flights in the airport. I had no idea such a room existed.

On the plus side, I guess you'll never do it again.

It is a horrible feeling waiting for someone even time is ticking down, urgh, makes me feel sick.

Oh dear lord, stress sweat was beading on my forehead just reading this. You did so well to keep cool. My DH would actually leave me if I did what your DH did. for the flight tomorrow x

No, there were no tannoy calls, which might have at least alerted DH to what was going on!

Maybe it was broken?

There were a massive group of sixth formers travelling somewhere who spontaneously burst into choir songs while I tried to ascertain gate number, which would have been the most charming thing ever, if it hadn't been for the fact that I was FREAKING OUT and couldn't hear myself think.

Had sympathy until you were unnecessarily nasty about the blonde lady. Now I think maybe karma has bitten you in the butt in advance.