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Original poster

WWYD - DS coming home from his dads covered in insect bites

37 replies

hipposinacircle · 16/10/2018 19:35

DS is 7 and visits his dads every other weekend. For some reason he regularly comes home with insect bites, usually all over his back and hips. Dad claims its where they've been playing in the garden but I generally take everything he says with a pinch of salt as he is a compulsive liar. We have an acrimonious relationship which doesn't help.

This weekend DS has come home with more bites and it's so awful to see him itching constantly; it's not fair on him that he is uncomfortable and has to take medicine because his dad is too lazy to cover him in bug spray.

Although I must admit, part of me is dubious as to whether there are that many mozzies in the U.K. in October, and it doesn't seem to be an issue when he is with me. We have also been to Florida a few times and he hardly ever gets bitten there, so I don't know what to think.

I am struggling with how to approach this with his dad without it turning into another argument, but I don't want to keep letting him go round there if this is going to happen on a regular basis. Any advice for how to handle this please?

OP posts:
neddle · 16/10/2018 19:37

Fleas?

practicallyperfectmummy · 16/10/2018 19:37

Sounds more like bed bugs maybe?

DustOffYourHighestHopes · 16/10/2018 19:38

Check out bed bugs. Are they sometimes in a line or cluster?

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NorthernLurker · 16/10/2018 19:38

It's not mosquitos. I would put money on fleas and if you don't know about a pet then you will probably find he has a new partner who has a pet and pet has been in house or car and left fleas. If he is very uncomfortable you could get a gp opinion and then go back to ex saying 'it's fleas p, I can't understand it'. He may confess and treat the beast.

Original poster
hipposinacircle · 16/10/2018 19:45

I have wondered about bedbugs or fleas too tbh. Yes they are usually clustered on his back or hips, which made me think bed bugs because that's where his pyjamas would ride up. They also have a cat but ex-P immediately jumps on the defensive and says that the cat is clean.

OP posts:
PippilottaLongstocking · 16/10/2018 19:51

I’d say fleas or bedbugs too, I think bed bug bites have a particular look to them but can’t think what off the top of my head

SharpLily · 16/10/2018 19:53

Take him to the doctor to get the bites identified and then you can make it clear to your ex that he has to do something about it. Your poor son, this is absolutely horrible. This way it will also be documented in case you need to take any stronger action if nothing gets done about the problem.

PippilottaLongstocking · 16/10/2018 19:53

Might be helpful - apparently flea bites have red dots in the middle

WWYD - DS coming home from his dads covered in insect bites
RollsEyesClapsHands · 16/10/2018 19:54

I think this would justify a visit to the gp. If it is happening every time he could be having disturbed sleep, not to mention a secondary infection.
If it is fleas or bedbugs he could bring them home and they are a nightmare to get rid of.

gamerchick · 16/10/2018 19:58

Could you take a close up photo of a cluster OP? Someone might be able to id them.

I would say fleas if they have a cat. He could also be bringing fleas home with him.

If it's bedbugs then you need to find out before they infest your house.

Original poster
hipposinacircle · 16/10/2018 20:00

Thanks Pippilotta for that picture. It is definitely either fleas or bedbugs based on that picture. The problem is he's scratched them so much that they are all scabbed or bleeding now so hard to say for sure.
I will definitely take him to the GP this week so that I have something concrete to go back to ex-P with before he is next due round there.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 16/10/2018 20:02

Can you give him an antihistamine for the minute to stop the itching?

Original poster
hipposinacircle · 16/10/2018 20:03

This is where the majority of it is at the moment. Any thoughts?

WWYD - DS coming home from his dads covered in insect bites
OP posts:
Original poster
hipposinacircle · 16/10/2018 20:06

Yes I have been giving him antihistamine as well. I just hate having to give him medicine when this should all be avoided.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 16/10/2018 20:09

those look like flea bites to me. Ask him the name of the stuff he treats his cat with.

jmh740 · 16/10/2018 20:10

Looks like fleas to me my ds has a flea allergy and comes up like that if he gets bitten, take him to the gp so it can be documented and give him anti histamines and put calamine cream on

NotANotMan · 16/10/2018 20:12

If it's bed bugs it's very serious and you have to be careful not to allow them to infest your house.
I think they are fleas.

UpstartCrow · 16/10/2018 20:13

If its bedbugs he can bring them home with him, so you do need to get to the bottom of this.

Original poster
hipposinacircle · 16/10/2018 20:19

Exactly. I can't have this in my home either. I think we are ok for the time being because neither DH or I or DS1 have anything like this. Although it is making me itchy just writing about it all now.

OP posts:
Original poster
hipposinacircle · 16/10/2018 20:21

Thank you all so much for your help. First stop is a GP appointment and then I will likely be back for your help in how to tackle this with ex-P.

OP posts:
Florries · 16/10/2018 20:29

If it is fleas and your ex says he treats the cat with frontline or something like Bob Martin spot on then there's a problem. Frontline is rubbish. I frontlined my cat every month. Regular like clockwork. Took her to the vet for her check up and the vet said her cost was too dry so combed her and found a flea. Of course I was mortified as I'm ridiculously thorough and pride myself on running a clean and tidy ship.

Vet said front line is awful and fleas are pretty much immune to it. The only sure way to protect your animals against fleas is to use a prescription based treatment such as advocate.

Whatever your partner is using, if you can buy it in a shop, it's not good enough. Only flea treatments a vet can pascribe work.

I would refuse to let my child visit the house until ex could prove he was using a responsible flea treatment. Would only allow my child to go with ex to other places and not back to the house. Even if it is mozzies, ex should be applying repellent to child.

Please let us know what the doctor says the bites are.

lljkk · 16/10/2018 20:34

They look linear to me. I'm allergic to flea bits & mine don't look like that. . Anti-histamine to make his life comfortable.

What happens if you send picture of the bites to his dad?

Some people don't react so have trouble believing there's a problem (they aren't affected).

GeoffreysCat · 16/10/2018 21:33

I'm afraid they look more like a bed bug pattern of bites to me. You need to make sure they don't hitch a ride back to your house in his clothes and belongings.

Does he take things to your ex's house or have clothes etc there? Pack his stuff in a soft bag that can go in the tumble dryer when he gets in along with his clothes. The heat will kill any bed bugs. There's lots of information online about how to check for bed bug infestations and how to stop them spreading.

I'm afraid that just because he's the only one reacting doesn't mean that they aren't in your house. Not everyone reacts to them. They can also take days to appear so he might not be getting bitten at your ex's house.

DustOffYourHighestHopes · 18/10/2018 22:33

They look like bedbugs.

Every time your kids come home, strip in hallway, wash all their clothes hot. Seriously.

If you get bedbugs, it’s a nightmare. We had them. Took months and £££ of professional help to get rid.

Your ex husband will need A LOT of help. You can’t see the buggers easily, they come out when you sleep. He’ll claim they aren’t there.

DustOffYourHighestHopes · 18/10/2018 22:34

If your ex Dh is reasonable he will agree to them not staying in his house until the problem is sorted.

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