WWYD - DS coming home from his dads covered in insect bites

[hipposinacircle]

DS is 7 and visits his dads every other weekend. For some reason he regularly comes home with insect bites, usually all over his back and hips. Dad claims its where they've been playing in the garden but I generally take everything he says with a pinch of salt as he is a compulsive liar. We have an acrimonious relationship which doesn't help.

This weekend DS has come home with more bites and it's so awful to see him itching constantly; it's not fair on him that he is uncomfortable and has to take medicine because his dad is too lazy to cover him in bug spray.

Although I must admit, part of me is dubious as to whether there are that many mozzies in the U.K. in October, and it doesn't seem to be an issue when he is with me. We have also been to Florida a few times and he hardly ever gets bitten there, so I don't know what to think.

I am struggling with how to approach this with his dad without it turning into another argument, but I don't want to keep letting him go round there if this is going to happen on a regular basis. Any advice for how to handle this please?

Unfortunately he's not reasonable at all.
We went to the GP this morning who said it's definitely not mozzies, but likely to be either bedbugs, fleas or a combination of the two.
I've told his dad and said that DS shouldn't sleep over there until he's sorted it and he's hit the roof, claiming I'm trying to come between them and saying there's absolutely no way it can be bed bugs because he hasn't been bitten.
He is now threatening me with legal action for access and wants to get hold of DS's medical records. I don't know what difference that is going to make. We have a follow up appointment at the GP in 2 weeks which I have said he is more than welcome to attend.
I don't know what to do. He is saying no way is DS only coming over in the day and not sleeping over.

I can’t help with what you should do but would say they could well be BB bites I have unfortunately seen them before.

Check your DS bedroom at your house now and get pest control out if you find anything

As PPs said if he has to go even in the daytime he needs to strip off when he gets back and into the bath whilst you wash everything at 60

Shoes bags etc from his dads keep them in the garage

Had the same with my ex. It was bed bugs. Due to other issues as well Social Services suggested I stop overnight contact. He hit the roof, wouldn't accept there was a problem. My son was allergic to the bites and he was in pain for months. Do what you need to do to make sure your DC is ok.

Thank you, @TheDistantSky that last sentence has really stayed with me.
Ironically, ex-P is threatening to call social services on me. Which is fine, I have nothing to hide. He is also saying that it is worse (in social services eyes) that the bites are getting infected while he's in my care, rather than the fact that he is getting them in the first place. They're infected because he's a 7 year old boy who can't help but scratch.
DS is due round there next weekend but as his dad is refusing to believe the issue lies with him then I don't trust him to bring him home before bedtime. I think I am going to have to seek legal advice on this one to see where I stand. It is neglectful in his dads part to not at least try to sort the problem out. But surely it would be equally neglectful of me to allow DS to go into that environment.

I would speak to the school and ask how to get advice from the school nursing service. They are the next child health authority once the child is over 5. (ie after the HV responsibility ends).

How has it been,op?

Here we use a ‘spot on’ treatment called Bravecto, it is applied to the cat once every three months, and not only protects against fleas but ticks as well. Our cat has this and also a worming treatment ‘spot on’ caller Profender, again only applied every three months. These are only available by vets prescription and sold via vets surgeries.

It is important your ex does both flea treatment and worming, as they have interlinked life cycles. He must also spray his home and car with a spray sold and recommended by vets, as flea eggs can live in carpets, cracks in the floor, under skirtings, in upholstery, for a very long time before hatching. A bad infestation will need professional treatment.

Your poor little boy! That looks so sore. You have 100% done the right thing OP, that is seriously not okay. Let your ex do what he wants- it’s him who obviously needs to clean up his home if it’s that filthy, I would not let my child anywhere near that place.

I use rosehip oil mixed with lavender, tea tree, patchouli and cedar wood as an insect repellent which not only keeps them away but helps heal as well. You could make this for your son and get him to apply it when he is at his Dad's. Unfortunately I don't have an aromatherapeutic remedy for unreasonable ex partners.

Looks like bed bugs. You need to quarantine everything coming into the house from your ex's and check carefully for any signs in your house. We ended up with them probably picked up from a hotel dh has stayed in when travelling for work. They may just be in room DS is sleeping in at your ex's which is why yr ex isn't being bitten (yet)

@Summerbabygirl Bedbugs are not a sign of filth. Clean homes and five star hotels can have them too!

It’s bedbugs. You need to quarantine all things that have been to the dads house and boil wash them.

You also need to go regular checks of your beds (bedbugs hide in cracks in the day).

Don’t let him go to his dads until his dads house has been properly treated.