Can we talk about the f word

[HighlandWorrier]

As in fart?! After 16 years together I am no longer mortified when I have to pass wind around him but DH always passes a snide comment, like he never does it As a good Scottish saying goes "where ever you may be let your wind blow free!"
I know it's not supposed to be ladylike and I would be mortified in public but come on fellow mumsnetters admit it do you let rip in front of your other halves too or disappear off somewhere private?

[Pusheenicorn]

I'm not a very farty person but will do it if the need takes me at home whether DP is around or not.

DP farts freely... often. Most of the time I don't mind BUT sometimes he does it as soon as we get in the car. Why not push it out before you got in a confined space and now I have to sit and breathe it in you inconsiderate arsehole.

[adoggymama]

@Dowser that made me laugh sounds like my boyfriend

[EyeRolls]

I bloody hate others' farts. Years of torture from evil DBro. I hate inhaling the smell of somebody else's so makes me really conscious about when I do it myself.
Yoga is like a full on test to keep that wind from breaking...but guarantee I'm not the only one releasing it on the way home!
DH is not bothered one way or the other, but I can get very narky if he does it in the bedroom just as we're trying to relax....

[civicxx]

life is short, i love my OH but i shall not hold in a trump for him!

and, he woke me up once with his bare arse in my face, and trumped practically on my head. cant say i ever cared after that!

[KisstheTeapot14]

Fairly often wake myself up farting. I blame having DC.

DH not bothered and often japes that its so loud the neighbours can hear!!

I do very occasionally wonder if its taken the wind out of the sails of romance. But life is too short to hold it in, in your own home.

There was a fairy tale I heard once of a proud king who was cursed never to fart. He was begging that genie for mercy by the end. Its not good for you, and would be painful if it was forever trapped.

So Whizzpop away, its good for you!

DS has taken all this to heart and trumps and wafts it towards me with his hands. Smells of old school dinners. Dee-lightful.

[DeaflySilence]

"As a good Scottish saying goes "where ever you may be let your wind blow free!"

Apparently not a Scottish saying, according to some, HighlandWorrier, but from an old gravestone in Honley Churchyard, Yorkshire.

'Where ere you be, let your wind blow free, for it is the wind, that killeth thee'.

There is also another version (more modern sounding, I think), which goes

'Where'er thee be, Let the wind blow free. In Church or Chapel, Let it rattle.'

so who knows the truth.

[amusedbush]

DH farts like his life depends on it but I have never farted in front of him - I don’t fart in front of anyone.

I don’t know why I bother though. He tells me how much I let off in my sleep, and a few weeks ago I farted an absolute belter in the bedroom and he texted me ‘I heard that!’ from the living room

[EdWinchester]

I think it's very unattractive, so don't do it.

I am a hypocrite though as we go to the loo/I change tampons in front of each other.

It's just farting is a bit too unpleasant to share. I don't find it funny either. My dh doesn't extend the same courtesy to me. He's never admitted it, but I know he'd be slightly revolted if I started farting in his company.

[Gilead]

I have ulcerative colitis, leaves me no choices.

[maggienolia]

One of my clients complained the other day that it was disgusting that his carer had farted in front of the warden.
Couldn't resist the old joke "why, was it her turn?"

The elderly ladies I care for have no inhibitions about firing them out. At 90+ no-one bats an eyelid.

[SequinsOnEverything]

I never do when I'm awake, but I rarely fart in the day anyway. Dh has informed me that I have farted loads in my sleep before. Sometimes when I go to bed I can feel it's going to be a farty night, but they don't ever want to come out when I'm awake!

[Layla8]

No, never, ever, Married for 40yrs, and never did. Except for the fanny fart the night our daughter was born. However, I am a world class belcher, and often cry with laughing if they’re particularly loud. He calls me a disgusting cow, which makes me laugh more. He farts for England in his sleep. I tell him he’s a fat, disgusting pig. Love him so much. Neither of us would ever do it in public, just a couple of pigs in private.

[StoppinBy]

Haha, what a funny thread. My hubby and I do...…… and our daughter (4) and our son (17mth).


We even do it in the car...…….. the best ones are the SBD...….. silent fart and then discretely hold the window button so your window can't be opened by the driver (driver can open any window with the control knobs) and wait.... wait...…...wait for the other one to smell it and have to wind their own window down to let all the smell suck past them haha.


On another note, no it's not romantic but neither is arguing over whose turn it is to change our youngest dirty nappies and we still do that [big grin]

[percheron67]

How do I play fart tennis please and do I have to move to Wimbledon in order to do so?

[Topseyt]

We fart freely in this house. It always amuses me on here how many people get their knickers into such a twist about a simple fart. Nowt wrong with a good old fart.

All you prissy antifart people should try it sometime. You might find it very liberating.

I am now fascinated by the idea of fart tennis! Are the rules identícal to lawn tennis?

[Vitalogy]

I couldn't live with a partner and not fart, I would explode.

[cookingteaforsix]

My husband has asked me to fart in the day, wherever I am. Because apparently it's preferable to me farting all night in my sleep whilst next to him.

He has a valid point but I still find it very difficult.

[stellabird]

Nope, I just don't , and neither does DH. Neither did my ex , so I've been lucky I guess. I don't like it and never find it funny when others do it.

[LuluJakey1]

I am not a comfortable farter infront of DH but when I was pregnant with DS I had uncontrollable wind and gave up trying to be discreet. DH is not discreet.
Also, I had pancreatitis and afterwards had 6 weeks of the worst farting ever at night. DH used to massage my tummy in bed to get rid of the trapped wind . God knows what the neighbours thought of all the moaning and groaning and sighing with relief I did.

[Loveatthefiveanddime]

I don't hold them in, but I have a knack for doing them silently so my partner is completely unaware almost all the time.
I am very uptight about not liking farting in company.

[thegreylady]

Dh and I just fart freely with one another, we occasionally comment on a really smelly one but usually ignore or glare at the cat. In fact we have a cat who will make a vile smell then glare at us and walk away!
However this is my third marriage (30 years happy and counting) and the only one where farting was just natural. I don’t think I ever knew the other two to fart and I would leave the room to avoid it with them.
They are both dead now.

[BertrandRussell]

"I am very uptight about not liking farting in company."

That's not being uptight!

[Juells]

I don't like other people's farts, and wouldn't fart around others, even my own children. As a child I remember my dear Da always leaving the house to fart - he'd just open the front door, step outside away from the door and let rip. We thought it amusing as children, but now I think it was very polite

[Holymosquito]

My kids call me Tooty mummy. Dh has joined them.

[BertrandRussell]

On farting threads it's noticeable that the pro farting in front of others lobby are always much ruder than the anti farting in front of others lobby. I suppose that's only to be expected.......