Tell me about your kid being an ungrateful wretch on holiday

[MorrisZapp]

My son is 8 and we have just taken him on an amazing short break to London. Entire thing planned round him. Harry Potter tour, amazing lego shop, chain restaurants to satisfy his boring palate. We've had a great time but now heading home in hideous mood due to him being rude and ghastly in the last few hours of our trip.

I've just spent the last part of this holiday standing in Hyde Park in beautiful autumn sun having a three way raging row with DS and DP.

I never got given anything like this when I was a kid but I know my mum tore her hair out at our ingratitude and moaning when we did go on trips.

I'm not looking for advice, DS will grow up and become human, as I did.

I just want someone to say they've felt this frustration too, and maybe get some free gin or something... A AAAAAAAARGH

I think step parenting adds another level to the hell. My stepdad is a rock, a man of fucking iron who's patience never wavered once in the face of our atrociousness.

If I hadn't given birth to DS myself, I'd had calmly walked off and left him in Central London on his own. If only there was somebody else I could blame him on.

Oh and here i was thinking it was just my offspring that were uncultured ungrateful wretches.

Every holiday of ours has been a bit of a nightmare with DS1. He hated every minute of them and would grump around not wanting to do the things we wanted and then crying that we were being really unfair to him when we did the things his brother wanted (after doing the things DS1 wanted first of course).

He always liked the idea of going and would say he was excited but by the 2nd/3rd day he would start picking on his brother or moaning about where we ate/the entertainment etc etc and only wanting to stay in the room and watch films on the laptop.

This year he has been diagnosed with ASD and it all makes bloody sense to us now|! He just hated being out of his comfort zone and forced to interact with people he didn't know and situations he wasn't comfortable with. And as much as it breaks my heart to think of how he must have felt during those holidays, it has reaffirmed our decision not to force him to go with us next year (he's 16 so old enough to say he doesn't want to go, which he has said numerous times now).

DS2, however, is the grumpiest child ever and I h ave a feeling he will be just as bad.

Sorry to be a killjoy here but so many times kids say they don’t want things or amazing experiences etc, they just want your time! I think the vast majority of under tens would much prefer a chilled stay action where parents just bloody spent some time with them doing ‘traditional’ child hood things like picnics, playing at the park, etc etc. It’s bloody adults that want the all singing, all dancing holidays.

Not my DS, as he’s only 4 months old right now, but embarrassingly .. me.

My single mum, never had any money, no child maintenance, scrimped and saved to take me and DB to Disneyland when we were 13 and 12.

I spent almost all the trip complaining and whining about the lines and how I didn’t want to be there and arguing with my brother. Then when my mum had the gall to tell me off, I dramatically threw myself to the pavement to have a full on tantrum (at 13), planned it wrong and landed badly on my knee... shattering it. Imagine the rest of the vacation, hospital stay and massive hospital bill (that insurance eventually sorted, thank God).

I think I learned my lesson though. And the rest of my summer was ruined so there is karma.

We've had our fair share of ungrateful behaviour from DS on holiday. Now he's at Uni, I make him get a job over the holidays to pay for towards his living expenses at Uni - so now we just have to listen to "it's alright for you going on holiday all the time whilst I'm working"!!!!

Rtmh oh my goodness! At least you recognise you were awful and karma bit you on the backside.
morris how my father didn't leave my poor mum over our family holidays (also a stepfather with the patience and personality of a saint) I was easily pleased and placid but my brother was awful to me and we fought dreadfully. Not good in a static in Wales in the rain.

I'm not a parent but I did once have to help carry a screaming tantrumming DC out of Disney as everyone watched us in horror.

Not a fond memory

Was toying with a trip to toddler butlins but reading these responses might just stick to a day out or two

I've also met the child who has to spoil every day out. I came to the conclusion it was a psychological thing but I still didn't understand the root of it.

OP I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is just the "breaking you in" phase that leads to the sheer horror of holidaying with a teenager.

We had a few "moments" in Magic Kingdom where I could have chucked the little darlings off the top of Big Thunder Mountain. Thankfully it was just in this particular park that these moments occured but it did feel shit that we had come all that way and spent so much money to argue and moan.

Sorry-being a grumpy cow tonight!

My DP and aunt and uncle always take great delight in reminding me of the time they booked a holiday to the Algarve with other extended family in the late 70s. They hired a beautiful big villa with a swimming pool and were all looking forward to a chilled week, with nice food cooked each day by the lovely Portuguese maids and washed down with plenty of local vino. Except they brought me.

Apparently, and I can't remember this, I was 4 and utterly vile. I wouldn't go on the beach because the sand was dirty, into the pool because it was too blue, there were flies, the food wasn't nice, and I whinged the entire time. Finally my poor long suffering father, who had the patience of a saint, had just about enough of me complaining so decided to give me something to actually whinge about by grabbing me and jumping into the pool, which I'd flatly refused to even dip my toe into, with me in his arms.

I'm reminded of this story at every family get together with the photo of me standing by the pool, with my face screwed up in full 4 year old tantrum mode!

Until I had DC of my own, I couldn't quite put myself in my DP's shoes, but sadly kids can be arseholes. Particularly when you've spent a shit load of cash on doing something you think they'll be grateful for! Sympathies OP.

Oh this is all such a relief. Ds 12 has had wonderful holidays this year - skiing, Cornwall with extended family that he loves and an adventure trip in France. So thought he'd be ok with Swanage and New Forest trip just now. He's moaned about missing his friends and has a countdown to go home. I spend a lot of time refereeing between DS and DH whose enthusiasm to see things knows no bounds

Am reconsidering New Zealand next year

I swear that with a snack in his mouth and one in each hand, DS wants to know if he can have a snack

This has made me laugh so much!
I have a child like this too.

We took dc’s to Costa Rica for a stay in a jungle lodge and then surfing at the beach. Proper holiday of a life time stuff. Dc1 spent the whole time moaning that there was no signal and he wanted to catch Pokémon. Dc2 kept comparing it unfavourably to the £20 Sun holiday in a caravan in Wales that we’d done the previous year.

I took DS away for a few days last week, all centred around him as it was an early birthday treat (he's turning 4 this week).
We did Legoland interactive centre and then went for tea in a restaurant he likes and finished the day with gifts from his favourite stores (Build A Bear, Disney and Lush) and all was great.

The next day though was an absolute nightmare... we were going to Disney On Ice in the evening so we had a lazy morning where he watched his kid shows in the hotel room, went where he wanted for dinner, I saw lots of children about town in fancy dress also going to the show so I went off to Disney store again to buy him whatever outfit he wanted, when there he was more interested in trying to pick a toy, despite me promising to come back for a toy the next day he had a tantrum so I stormed him out the store without a costume.
When at the show he sulked because he wasn't dressed up, he then sulked because he realised he wasn't going on the ice himself and then as the show got started he kept telling me how he was 'just so bored' so at the interval I'd had enough and took him back to the hotel, then the next day I cancelled plans to go ice skating and to get him a new toy from the Disney Store and we got on the train home by 10am.

By time we got home I just felt absolutely deflated and disappointed that maybe I'd turned my child into a spoilt brat, but these stories are making me feel much more relieved that many children seem to have their moments of ungratefulness and brattish behaviour

Thank god it's not just my ds. We have still got years of this to come as the teenage years are on the horizon. They seem to have really short attention spans, other families spend days at the beach, my two whinge and moan after 20 minutes.

I've a photo of my bro,sis and I lined up,smiling into the camera,welsh mountains in the background. Perfect picture of three perfect children on a perfect day in Wales.....oh! how the camera lies!! We'd apparently been squabbling,fighting little shits on this day trip to the Welsh hills.Dad had lined us up, said "right!we're going home now but before you get in the car I'm going to take a picture. AND YOU'RE ALL GOING TO SMILE! Now! Line up!" Terrifying, our Dad was at times. And so, we lined up,we smiled into the camera, we got into the back of the car, and that was our perfect day in Wales

Although I do have a photo of myself aged about 5 with the stroppiest face ever. My very republican dm had driven me to a nearby town that the queen was visiting. I was going through a princess phase and was obsessed with all thing royal. We sat for hours waving our flags and then when she turned up I started howling because she wasn’t wearing her crown and she looked like my gran. Disney has lied to me

Dd2 spoiled two days of our 6 day summer holiday to Croatia this year having a full on strop because I'd said no to her giving up a sport that she loved before Christmas (as we had already asked her if she wanted to do it, she said yes and we paid for it-and also because I knew as soon as she started she would want to do it). She spent two days arguing, stropping, sitting in the room etc etc.
I was livid.
Got back, she attended one training session and declared she loved it still
And didn't want to quit after all. 🙄

Yep. My 5 yo DS at Center Parcs. Thought we should be Doug the horrifically expensive activities all day every day for a bloody week. Constantly moaned if not 100% entertained. We actually have a joke about the direct correlation between the price of a trip and the and amount of whingy trantrumy nonsense we have to endure. Cheers OP

I been that parent in Disney DS2 had a meltdown about Buzz Lightyear!? Have the photo lovely then he flicked the switch honestly sat and cried. Felt like hours (it wasn't) he also hated the fireworks we saved everything for this "break" Have a large glass 🍸 OP you are not alone.

I've blanked out the memories of DD between 10 and 16 abroad. Having attended boarding school, I thought I was prepared for cruelty. Not by a long chalk.