Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

I’m so boring. And bored. And fed up

47 replies

Boreted · 13/10/2018 21:48

No two ways about it, I’m boring :(. Please don’t castigate me - I know it. I’m not especially interested in anything, have no hobbies, not very clever. I am a nice person and people seem to like me but I just feel I have no depth.

I’m lonely but frightened to put myself out there because I have nothing to offer once you get past the “nice person” stuff. Can I change this in any way? Feeling increasingly sad and alone :(

OP posts:

Leobynature · 13/10/2018 21:50

What do you do with your time

Original poster

Boreted · 13/10/2018 21:55

I have 4dc, 3 of whom are adult, and they all live at home. I’m widowed. So home life is fairly busy but not much apart from that.

I was my dh’s carer for 4 years before he died so have no cv to speak of. I have friends but they’re mostly all working and paired up so don’t see much of them. Plus, I don’t have much disposable income.

Just feeling a bit sorry for myself tonight.

OP posts:

Havalina · 13/10/2018 22:00

You must be interested in something? Have preferences for what you watch on tv or listen to music wise?

Not every person is a hobby or group person.

Original poster

Boreted · 13/10/2018 22:04

Oh Havina, I’m embarrassed to say I rarely watch tv so often don’t have a clue when people are discussing popular stuff. I like to read. I love tennis (watching not playing) and I’m quite involved with an organisation I volunteer for. But that’s it.

OP posts:

TigerDroveAgain · 13/10/2018 22:12

I don’t watch TV either but I’m making myself watch some popular programmes just to be able to talk about them. They have to be good though.

Can you join a book group, maybe online?

You don’t sound boring at all. Boring people talk about make up and celebs in my view. Although I quite like talking about make up when I’m in the mood.

Havalina · 13/10/2018 22:13

You don't sound boring at all, what kind of "putting yourself out there" are you thinking of?

Finding more friends, or a group to belong to or a partner?

You don't need to appeal to a mass amount of people.

RJnomore1 · 13/10/2018 22:13

Ooh what do you like reading? Any recommendations?

SnailMailFan · 13/10/2018 22:15

Boreted you don’t sound boring at all, just down in the dumps.

You can’t be boring if you like to read, and volunteer for an organisation. You’ve got friends! Also I bet you’re all the more interesting for not watching loads of tv, it means you fill your time with other things.

Now I’m properly boring. I ‘work’ from home, making a product, which will never make me rich. My one bit of excitement in a week is going to a slimming group. I like to read too, and am happiest in my own little fictional world.

Obviously I don’t know your friends, but is it possible to invite someone round to watch a dvd and have a takeaway and a catch up? I’m married, but I’d love an invitation like that (and not just because I want to eat all the takeaways). I don’t think that just because people are in couples, they wouldn’t fancy meeting up.

Sending you a hug. I don’t care if they’re frowned on. I just think you need one.

Havalina · 13/10/2018 22:17

I'm such a hypocrite really because I have gotten out of the habit of talking to people. Also reading, stupid internet.

What's a good book you have read lately?

Kittykat93 · 13/10/2018 22:29

I feel like this too op. I've got a shit job, no particular skills, I dress boringly, don't go anywhere, don't have interests!!! I do have some friends but mainly talk about babies or partners.

You don't sound like a boring person though op. When someone enjoys celebrity gossip magazines and that sort of thing, I find them boring.

Original poster

Boreted · 13/10/2018 22:29

Ah you’re all so kind. I like Georgette Heyer, and most years at about this time I start to re-read her stuff. I was in a charity shop a couple of months back and saw a whole series of books, similar in vein to Georgette’s, so I bought them. They’re by D A Ponsonby and signed by the author - and seem to fetch crazy amounts on Amazon. So reading those at the minute, but really I’ll read anything.

Havina I think I’d like to start dating again . Seems a ridiculous word to use at my age but I’m increasingly lonely. My Dh died nearly 2 years ago now, and whereas I’ll never find what we had, I would like something.

OP posts:

Annandale · 13/10/2018 22:30

I know it's a bit obvious but would you consider a book club? It depends what you like about reading, and the clubs vary hugely and also change over time.

14 years ago i joined the local community centre book club. It has changed out of all recognition but i still go and i absolutely love it. People were always friendly but it was probably about 3 years before i felt id made some friends there. But i love talking about the books, ive read lots of things i would never have picked up, and i love hearing about my friends' lives and jobs, ive learned all sorts.

Something else to consider is radio or podcasts. 'A history of the world in 100 objects' is really interesting and each one is short. I certainly haven't listened to them all, i dip in and out.

Singlenotsingle · 13/10/2018 22:35

We could have a "who's the most boring?" competition? I'm retired, have a dp, cats, and a dog, but apart from TV, internet and grandchildren, no hobbies. Just potter from day, to day, to day...

surferjet · 13/10/2018 22:41

You sound lovely op, you’re coming across as really warm & friendly.
let’s face it, most of us are on MN because we’re bored
( & tbh, 95% of people are boring, I wouldn’t worry about it )

sproutsplease · 13/10/2018 22:47

No one who likes Georgette Heyer is going to be boring! Do your friends know that you would like to meet someone? That can be a good way of either getting suggestions for activities or introductions to people.

Havalina · 13/10/2018 22:48

Get yourself on pof, it's not ideal and you will get lot of odd people, but it's brilliant and free for just chatting to people. The block button is never far away and you never know who you could meet.

Original poster

Boreted · 13/10/2018 22:51

I’ve not really got on with book clubs. I seem to rediscover a long ago and very well hidden rebellious streak that doesn’t like being told what to read! The words nose, face, spite and cutting off come to mind! I like the idea of podcasts though - thank you.

I wish you folks were rl friends - we could have bours of endless fun reassuring each other we weren’t boring! Ah well. I have lovely friends but they’re all married or attached, have younger dc than me so at different stages or have busy social lives. I literally have nothing in my calendar between now and Xmas (for evenings).

OP posts:

Havalina · 13/10/2018 22:52

Sell your signed books and go on a luxury cruise, or adventure holiday

MarklahMarklah · 13/10/2018 23:01

Instead of a book club, how about some sort of adult education group? I joined our local WEA about a year ago and have done a number of short courses, as well as day courses. They're not wildly expensive and you get to meet a lot of interesting people.

Or perhaps look at something like a walking group, arts/crafts type thing?

All of these tend to attract people who are primarily looking to learn new skils, do new things but without the pressure of actually "meeting people" as such, IYSWIM.

I've not got into podcasts yet, but there is some really interesting stuff on TED talks.

Geraniumpink · 13/10/2018 23:04

Georgette Heyer is lovely. Do you have a favourite? Mine is ‘The Grand Sophy’ which I just happen to be rereading at the moment!

SneakyGremlins · 13/10/2018 23:05

Would it be worth seeing if you could volunteer at the library? Combine your love of reading with some new friends?

You don't sound boring, you sound like a lovely warm person.

surferjet · 13/10/2018 23:06

Op, do you have a local W.I?

MaruMaru · 13/10/2018 23:10

Agree you don't sound boring. You sound very self deprecating and your post gave me a wry smile! I am totally boring myself and I used to think it was a terrible thing but do you know, it's not so bad. It's certainly not a crime.....
Book group? Walking? Outdoor gym? Knit hot water bottle covers for rough sleepers?Increase your responsibility at your volunteering thing? All low/ no cost.
Are you hoping to meet a new partner?

Original poster

Boreted · 13/10/2018 23:14

Marklah I really like the idea of that but the problem is knowing what course to do since I’m not especially interested in anything. I have low level interests in lots of things but no burning passion iyswim. I’m also not very clever. I appreciate that my self esteem is something I need to work on but - I don’t know how:(. I have a friend who I admire enormously. She’s a consultant psychiatrist and very well respected in her field. However, over the last few years she’s done a history A-level, followed by a history OU degree (for which she got a first). She’s also now done enough levels of pole dancing to qualify to teach it, travelled extensively, has a packed social life etc. I want to be like her but I don’t have her passion, her intellect, her imagination, her energy .

Geranium that’s a tough one to call! Possibly Frederica. Or The Reluctant Widow maybe.

OP posts:

QuaterMiss · 13/10/2018 23:15

You need a challenge.

Do you have a degree? Because I’d suggest an MA funded by a Government Postgraduate Loan. You wouldn’t have time to be bored, you’d be able to exercise your brain and your domestic life would rapidly evolve when you’re busy elsewhere. You’ll also meet new like-minded people without OLD.

(If you don’t already have a degree others might be able to advise on funding for one.)

Flip

1 2