How to deal with the soft play years

[TheWeatherGirl1]

I need advice.

I have a 15mth old.
I'm new to soft play, to parenting, to kids in general, and I have no idea how to get through the next 16 years without putting other parents and their feral kids into a headlock for upsetting my kid.

These emotions are very new to me and I think I need some tips from those of you who have made it through the soft play /playground years without going to jail.

Today, only our third ever soft play, a feral toddler pushes my wobbly toddler over so his head rebounds with a crack off the floor.
Obviously, my first instinct is to kill but instead I shout Oi! Oi!
Then get told off by feral's middle class dad who wanders over to reprimand me from his seat a mile away.
Feral kid then attempts to push over another kid and break some stuff.

So, some words of wisdom, please.
How do you cope out there in soft play world and retain your dignity?
What words of wisdom do you have for a newbie?

Thanks in advance.

Your post made me laugh!

I do feel your pain though. It’s incredibly frustrating when parents don’t challenge their children’s bad behaviour.

Considering the age of your child, I’d stick to smaller soft plays. My DD is 16 months old and I find the big ones far too much. I probably ‘hover’ too much but they are too young to depend themselves at that age.

Take a deep breath and remind myself that part of the reason we are there is for my dc to see what other kids are like!

At that age actually go in the play gym with your little one. I've had many mini arguments with parents when their kids do something to mine, don't be scared to say something. I tend to go to places like that first thing when it is a little quieter.

One day in the very near future your kid will be one of the feral toddlers and knock a younger one over, then you’ll realise they are just babies and there’s no point being angry at them.

Try and find a nice small one with a baby friendly area and stick to that until your DC is a bit more robust.

Or my personal fave is to throw them in a puddle suit and go outside therefore avoiding people and their germ infested toddlers altogether

They do push each other 🤷🏻‍♀️wanting to kill them is quite dramatic there's really not much you can do, just move your child along if they are upset and distract them?

You just accept it's hell on earth and count down the years

I would have replied to the bloke, “perhaps if you were supervising your child this whole situation would have been avoided, and i will not apologise for trying to prevent an unsupervised toddler from injuring my child.” But that’s me.

When my kids got old enough to push back I kind of let them out of arms length a bit more. But only if I knew they wouldn’t hit/hurt anyone. The only time one of mine did hurt a child was when they got carried away and landed on top of small toddler. I was so apologetic, made my son apologise and then we left. He never did that again.

Be more assertive if a parent has a pop, but don’t be threatening. Be prepared to walk away if they are clearly nuts.

it can be good in some ways for little ones to learn the big kids can be a bit rough, and gets them to stand up for themselves a bit more. Like my youngest who despite not talking can entirely hold her own against her eldest siblings. I just think yeah, being jumped on, pulled or roughly played with everyday for the last 2 years means she takes no shit.

I wish I hadn’t avoided soft play as much with pfb as she never experienced any of that until her brother was born. And is definitely more delicate.

I might get him a sumo suit.

I don't think I can have mini confrontations with people on a regular basis, I'd find it pretty demoralising.

He's not so great on the walking yet, but when he is then I do agree about being outside, I'd definitely prefer to put some distance between me and roaring toddlers.

Oh tell me about it. I used to be just the same. Then my eldest turned into a psycho 3 year old and it’s just the most difficult thing in the world going to soft play.

I read a very good post on here recently that said the ‘big’ child bit of soft play is like lord of the flies and I have to agree. I avoid them like the plague now.

I'm with @Bingolingo, soon your gorgeous 15 month old will also be a feral toddler ( especially if you have another, they always save their worst behaviour until you are midway through a breastfeed or a nappy change).
Soft plays are grim, keep the early walkers to baby areas or sessions and head outside instead, or find other mums who hate soft play and go to each others' places for tea and biscuits. Much more fun and cheaper!

Go for opening time - usually the quietest time.
Find a soft play with a decent sized toddler area but a huge big ones area - more likely the big ones won’t bother with the little ones area than where they are similar sized.
Go in with them (though it sounds as if you are).
I use my teacher voice but not directed at the child - just about their actions (oh no, that toddler is being much too rough - it is very unkind to push glare - that way the parent can’t jump in that you’re telling their kid off because you weren’t - you were just describing the situation)

How do you cope out there in soft play world and retain your dignity?

I never worked that one out!

Wait til DC start school and they don't get to be Mary/Joseph/head shepherd - then you'll rage!

When I lived in Germany they served wine and beer in soft play places. They have the right idea!

Love Wait4nothing's advice.

Just sportscast the situation. "That child pushed you. That must have hurt. It's not nice to push."

Just wait until yours is large enough to upset other children. My eldest is usually quite angelic but once hit another child over the head with a cricket bat. Youngest loves to wind people up but has never exploded. All children will hurt other children at some point in their early years. They're just like that. I would also reccomend going to a soft play that is actually soft. The whole point if a soft play is that you can put forty toddlers in one room where they will inevitably rough each other up a but without any serious injuries.

Ugh!! I have this problem too! At a really nice baby group but there is one toddler who goes who takes all the toys off my dc and hit him in the face several times last week. My issue is not really with the child as she's only 3 but the mum does nothing about it! We also saw them on the bus and she was kicking my dc in the face, mum did nothing so I had to step in but felt bad about reprimanding someone else's child in front of them. The mum was clearly annoyed but I'm not going to just let a 3yo kick my 1yo in the face repeatedly.

I like the loudly describing the situation /bringing shame upon the parent advice.
This will be my new battle armour, thanks for that.

My suggestions would be

• don't go. It is not mandatory
• if you must go, find a nice quiet soft play and go at a quiet time of day
• if there are older children in an area clearly marked for (say) under 3s, then ask them to move. Most children understand "you are too old to be in here" even if they can't yet read the sign.

I'm pretty sure soft play didn't exist back in the dark ages when I was growing up.
So the next time my mum tries to tell me how hard that she had it, I will beg to differ.

Honestly, you just grit your teeth and get through it. I hate that parenting forces me to interact with other parents but it all ends the day they enter secondary education.

You could count it down on a wall, like they do in prison? Also calling people cunts but not out loud helps me cope.

Honestly? Don't go

Start telling the parents off. We were at the park yesterday and some woman and her 12 year olds were on the swings, the kids were running through the swings as it were, trying to dodge the mother who was on the swings. Dd and DS who are still little were on the swings too so I said stop it, not a good idea with little ones around. Some parents are utter idiots. Worse than the kids!

God yes don't go to soft play. Total chaos. Got to the park with a packet of sandwiches instead

Now that DC are at school, we only ever go at opening time on weekends. If you find one that opens at 9 you usually get a lovely peaceful hour until the parties start at 10!

When they were small I found the other quiet time to be school pick up time so it cleared out from 2:15 to 4ish when most of the parents had to be elsewhere.

But you will have to intervene at times as you did.

Also, there are a few lovely play centres popping up around the country that make you pre-book and limit numbers. The one near is only allows 50kids per session and has a wonderful range of imaginative play stuff as well as soft play. Worth asking if anyone knows of one near you. It seems a lot less feral !

Don't go!

Simple.