How to deal with the soft play years

[TheWeatherGirl1]

I need advice.

I have a 15mth old.
I'm new to soft play, to parenting, to kids in general, and I have no idea how to get through the next 16 years without putting other parents and their feral kids into a headlock for upsetting my kid.

These emotions are very new to me and I think I need some tips from those of you who have made it through the soft play /playground years without going to jail.

Today, only our third ever soft play, a feral toddler pushes my wobbly toddler over so his head rebounds with a crack off the floor.
Obviously, my first instinct is to kill but instead I shout Oi! Oi!
Then get told off by feral's middle class dad who wanders over to reprimand me from his seat a mile away.
Feral kid then attempts to push over another kid and break some stuff.

So, some words of wisdom, please.
How do you cope out there in soft play world and retain your dignity?
What words of wisdom do you have for a newbie?

Thanks in advance.

The dad was in the wrong. Perfectly fine and normal to say "Oi!" to a kid who's just made yours crack their head on the floor.

Don’t go. Get your lo a decent winter jacket, waterproof trousers and boots. Go to the park, beach, local wildlife centre... anywhere that a child can run around in the fresh air.

I have never been.

Except for the birthday parties of my children’s friends.

It looks bloody awful.

Pick a soft play appropriate to the stage of your DCs. Some are better for toddlers, some better for larger feral beasts (mine are this age group).

Pick your time of day. 9-11:30 when 3+ are in pre-school tends to be better for younger ones.

It tends to be busier in bad weather.

It's not forever. They tend to go less on starting school other than class parties. DS1 (7) is pretty over soft play now and moans about tagging on for a party for DS2.

It won't be for 16 years... though it may feel like that! Mine are done with them now (at 8).

I hate soft play. I only go when my children are invited to parties there. I prefer the park (even in the rain)

I was thinking about this, I remember going to soft play once a year as a kid, it was the one at the Bogner Butlins. First time I thought it was the most amazing place I have ever been lol.

We just used to get taken outside to play instead, if it was wet we got in our waterproofs and went, my parents were not big on paying for entertainment but I don't think there really were a lot of these places in the 80's anyway.

Saying that I do like the smaller quieter ones for my son (16m too) as its a smaller space to keep an eye on him and he is less likely to hurt himself. Going at peak time must be hell though!

Just don't go OP!

I hate, hate, hate soft play, and mine is now one of the toddlers, although she doesn't much like bashing about.

So I don't go. DD doesn't miss out, she goes to lots of other activities with other children where they aren't encouraged/allowed to fling themselves around like wild beasts. Playgroups, parks, stay and play sessions all are preferable to soft play.

Festering,sweaty germ infested hell holes the lot of them! Blergh.

You have to try a few soft plays until you find one you like. Some are less feral than others.

I'm with the others though; unfortunately, your kid will become the boisterous kid before you know it.

Some parents out there are slack with the parenting (and down just right weird) though.

I do love soft play though. My 2 preschool kids could exhaust themselves, I could drink a hot drink, and the risk of death/abduction/losing one was pretty low 😅

I don't go unless I absolutely have to.

There are so many other things to do with toddlers that do not involve giant germ-infested padded cells with slides. Parents are often even more badly behaved than the kids.

Park, swimming, walk in the woods, playgroup (sometimes not much better than soft play), garden centres, friends' houses etc.

However there are times when I do have to go to soft play. DS is 2.5 and confident to go and explore on his own; as long as I can clearly see him, I don't go in. But I watch him like a hawk mainly to make sure he's kind to others and also to prevent escape bids. I always make sure he stays out of the 'baby' sections. If the shit hits the fan I just remove him from the situation and plonk him in another part of the soft play.

These kind of environments turn children into tiny, over-excited psychopaths so some bumping / falling / accidental contact is inevitable, but it pisses me off massively when parents refuse to lift their faces from their latte and properly supervise to stop excitement form turning into genuinely shitty behaviour.