If you were having surgery with a chance of death...

[AlienBotanist]

Would you write letters to your loved ones before you went?

Minimal risk of death, but still there (heart surgery).

I really need to do this. I'm not ill or anything but you never know what can happen and I'd hate for my DCs to not know certain things.

In fact I've been thinking of writing something to my nan. She's been ill recently and she brought me up. The thought of losing her is more than I can bear but I can't say it. We are a very closed family. No one talks about their feelings ever and I once said something to her that I massively regret. Knowing her she wouldn't even remember but I do. I did buy her a book a few years ago called 'Dear Nan' and it's like a life story. You gift it to someone, they fill it all in then they gift it back. I can't wait to give it back as I know she will have written it as she keeps a diary every day and she loved the book. I actually have one that I started for the DCs but I forgot all about it.

Yep. Mine had risk of paralysis, rather than death. I wrote to my parents, siblings and two ‘best pals’.
I wanted to set out what I wanted by way of care, and where to find all my documentation in the house.
Luckily I didn’t need them, but I can’t bring myself to throw them away.... it’s a powerful reminder of how things were, and could be again.

I had major brain surgery a few years ago. I didn’t write letters. It would’ve meant I had to face the fact I could die. I was very much in denial and truly believed that once they had opened up my head they would realise that they had mixed up my scan pictures with some else’s.

Obviously I survived and reading this I feel very selfish that I didn’t really give a thought to the fact I really could die and how the people I would’ve left behind would have benefitted from knowing how much I wanted to live and not leave them.

Thank you all for being so kind, and for sharing your experiences. I am going to spend some time this weekend trying to get down on paper some sensible thoughts ready for next week.

Skippedalight I completely understand that PoV- it's really hard for me to accept something might go awry.

2 weeks Before My ds3s birth i was told was a high risk of bleeding out not making it through the surgury, i was in a support group with women with the same condition and 2 days before my surgury one of the women id been speaking to passed while giving birth. At that moment i wrote letters to all my children even the one i was yet to meet. I discussed my wished with kids dad about raising our children. Saying good bye to them efore i left for the hospital was the hardest thing in the world but i knew in my bones that my baby would be ok, i just didnt know if i was. Iv kept those letters im not sure if i should but i have.