I can't cope with my baby anymore.

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She's 6 m. She doesn't sleep. Not in the day or the night. It's killing me. I've tried everything. White noise, co sleeping, late "heavy" meal before bed, established bedtime routine. I don't know what else there is.

When she's awake during the day shes just really high maintenance. Just whinging for no reason. Its constant. She's only haooy when I'm out. But i don't want to go out all day. It's not practical or realistic.

It's affecting my mental health badly. I get an overwhelming feeling of dread when it's the morning. I don't want to go through the day.

My DH isn't around as he's at work and in the evenings he's tired himself.

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. No sleep is one of the worst things.

Have you tried talking to your health visitor?

What about going out for part of each day so she is content for a time at least? I wish I'd gone to every baby group in town!

Hang in there, you're doing a great job. It does get better.

Would a childminder for one day a week be an option? It sounds relentless if she’s not sleeping well day or night. In my experience, you’re about to turn a corner- around 6 months mine were able to sit up so started playing with toys, meaning less whinging! Then in no time moved to crawling, cruising and walking- all of which tired them out meaning they slept better.

I agree about turning a corner at around this age. Things get so much easier when they can do a bit more for themselves.

No sleep is hard-going and makes everything seem worse. Any chance of weekend lie-ins while your partner is with her?

Is she sitting up yet? I found things got so much easier once they could sit up as toys got more interesting for them. Do try and get out for a walk everyday, the fresh air will do you both good. Baby groups a couple of times a week too just for a change of scenery and to talk to other mums. If you are feeling very low then do go and speak to your health visitor or GP.

I felt similar although I don't think quite as bad- at 7 months we did controlled crying with my daughter. It worked on the first night and naps took about a week. She was so much happier during the day and so was i. I know it's not for everyone, but we found it worked well and nearly 12 months on don't regret it.

Has she been checked for reflux / allergies? Perhaps she's uncomfortable. Or she could just be a whinge-bag. Some babies are! It gets easier as time goes on though. My youngest is a diva but was much happier once he was able to crawl.

Does she have any sort of routine at all?

Stating the obvious (which I'm sure you know) but she sounds very overtired.

I sympathise. My second was similar although not quite as bad. She settled at around 7 months and life became easier.

I'd definitely discuss with the health visitor.

Mine was the same.i used to cry pretty much all day because I was so tired.I realise now that I had pnd.It really does get better as pp have said.The first year is v v hard ime.

If you are feeling desperate please call your GP for an emergency appointment.

I honestly did find it easier to be out of the house than in when my babies were small. They seem to appreciate fresh air and lots of stimulation. Sitting around at home is boring for them! inconvenient though that is.

OP, you need some support. You sound depressed and exhausted.
I’d tell your GP how you’re feeling and get assessed for PND. Also get your baby checked for reflux, colic etc. I’d try to get out at least briefly each day, for your own sake as well as the baby’s.
You need some time with other adults, friends or family or mother/baby groups.
Do you have a nearby trusted friend or relative who could take the baby for a few hours and let you have a decent sleep?
Finally, as others have said, things should improve soon, as your baby becomes more mobile, reactive to you and interested in toys and surroundings.
Anyone would be knackered and demoralised dealing with this. Don’t be afraid to mobilise some support - there’s no shame in asking for help.

She does sit! I thought it would make a difference but it hasn't. She really loves being in a sling and outside. That's when she's the most content.

I have even tried controlled crying but she can go oñ for hours if I let her. So have not pursued it again.

I know people keep telling me it will get better but I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm exhausted and can't think straight. The other day I gave someone my old mobile number. One I haven't used in over 11 years!

My first baby was the same, I was dead on my feet all the time because staying in wasn’t an option. It was a constant routine of pushing her everywhere in the buggy, taking her out to the library, going swimming (which she loved until we got out, then it was 20 mins of close range crying while I got us both dressed-god I hated that), she only liked certain playgroups, couldn’t sit in a cafe for more than 30 mins- usually only lasted 20. Hang in there, and if you’re spending the day indoors try and mix up where you’re spending time. Try and meet friends with their kids as much as you can.
Charity shops toys are good for entertainment, and you can take things back and get new for a few pounds every couple of weeks.

Has she been checked for reflux / allergies? Perhaps she's uncomfortable. Or she could just be a whinge-bag. Some babies are! It gets easier as time goes on though

This is good advice .

Also your husband needs to help in the evenings, being tired isn’t a good enough excuse. How many mums do you know who come home from work and don’t have anything to do with their kids because they are tried ?

No, I don’t know any either .

She sounds like my oldest. I ended up just going out all day most days, sorry. We went to soooo many groups. Sensory, sing&sing, rattle&roll, baby yoga, swimming. As many free/cheap ones as I could find plus a few private ones. At least one a day, sometimes 2. Then we had errands, supermarket and park too. It kept her happy and she napped in the car or buggy. She never slept in the house. She started sleeping better but still woke frequently until 14 months. She's at school now and is still demanding.

DC2 loves being at home and just likes to potter about, play on his own and watch Cbeebies. Then he naps in his bed for 2 hours.

Also this:

Also your husband needs to help in the evenings, being tired isn’t a good enough excuse. How many mums do you know who come home from work and don’t have anything to do with their kids because they are tried?

Baby woke up around 14x last night. I have cracked. I screamed at her and i cannot cope with this anymore. I'm going to buy some formula and bottles this morning after I've dropped my other children off to school.

To anyone who is breastfeeding. If it's difficult. Give up.

Hand hold here. It is exhausting I know and no wonder you are cracking. Please do get her checked for reflux. Many a whingy baby has had this and been in discomfort so worth a check . It will get easier . But I appreciate it is cold comfort to you just now.

My DS was like this. Didn’t sleep for more than 90 minutes at a time. Whinged constantly all day. A horrid noise that wasn’t a cry, was just an awful irritating whine.

Only thing that stopped the whinging was to go out but sometimes I was just too exhausted to get in the car and drive anywhere.

It did get better eventually. At around 8 Months he started sleeping 3 hour stretches. At 20 months he started mostly sleeping through the night.

He is now 23 months and still whinges a bit but is much easier than he was as a baby.

Hang in there. Everything is a phase.

Is your DH doing his half of evening routines and night feeds? You're both working a full time job during the day so the load should be shared after this. DH and I did shifts over night (also nightmare baby) eg if it was before 3 he was all mine, after 3 DH was on duty. Admittedly we could share the feeds so hopefully getting some formula will help. Hold tight, you're doing great

My son was a terrible sleeper and it turned out that he had CMPA and silent reflux.

I think it sounds like your baby probably has an underlying issue, please do consider CMPA, reflux and other possible causes.

CMPA info at www.allergyuk.org/information-and-advice/conditions-and-symptoms/469-cows-milk-allergy

Please do take baby to the GP, tell them about the broken sleep and crying/clingy all day, don’t let them fob you off, and keep going back or get a second opinion if they are not helpful.

When things were really bad we coslept which meant that even though I had horribly broken sleep at least I didn’t have to get out of bed and could doze while breastfeeding. Are you cosleeping?

Also your DH/DP needs to do a LOT more, he’s tired in the evenings?! Um presumably you are completely exhausted all the time! Have you fallen unto the trap of taking sole responsibility for the baby 24/7 just because he is doing paid work 35-40 hours a week?
He can take over when he gets home and do his share of the night wakings. Maybe he could be on duty until a set time (1 maybe?) and you could go to bed really early with ear plugs so you get at least a few hours of unbroken sleep. That’s what we did for ages.

If FF is what you need to do to be happier, do it.

I stopped feedi g DS1 at 6 weeks because he was 9lbs born and never satisfied.
I crucified myself over it initially but it was the best parenting decision I ever made. We BOTH relaxed and were more settled.

If it is CMPA, formula will make everything much worse. You would need hypoallergenic formula.

If you don’t want to breastfeed any more that’s your choice and a valid one but I don’t think it will be a magic solution to your problems I’m afraid.

Not unless your husband is going to do the night feeds and night wakings so you can catch up on sleep!

How about some home help so you can get some sleep - ask your HV, and Barbados has a volunteer home help scheme. Get your dh to do a full night shift with bottles and you stay in bed 12 hours. Then split shifts how it best suits you two. It DOES get better, but you’re in the trenches right now and need sleep

OP your bloke really needs to step up. Surely he doesn't work 7 days a week? On his days off he could take the baby out while you catch up on sleep.

You can't pour from an empty cup and the first year is about surviving the bomb that is a baby. It's all hands on deck.

Formula might not be the magic bullet, especially if she has gut issues that might be contributing to her being hard work. But there is absolutely no reason not to try. she might not take a bottle from you though, so you'll need to draft him in.