Would you have sex while you're staying at a friends house?

[MummySharkDooDooDooDoo]

My boyfriend and I are going to stay with his friend abroad for a few days and he has said that he would rather we didn't have sex while we're there as he finds it a bit disrespectful. Fair enough if that's what he thinks but I personally wouldn't see the problem as we'll have our own room and we can be quiet.

Before that weekend away though, we're spending a weekend with my friends and as we'll be drinking we're going to stay at their house. Again, we will have our own room and as they're my friends I feel it falls to me to make the judgement call. I'm not "planning" to have sex but after a few drinks, I wouldn't rule it out. But should I, on the basis that it's my friends house?

If you do, make sure you take any condoms to a suitable bin. Perform all necessary contortions to find a missing used condom so your friend doesn't find it later! I speak from experience. Can never mention it irl as I don't know which guests (presumably accidentally) left it behind.

Umm mabey it's just this friend. The friend might be a bit of a clean freak or uptight about it.

This isn't intended to be a drip feed but we were at his a while back and some of his friends were staying and one of them heard us despite our attempts to be quiet. So maybe it's because of that. It still doesn't explain why it's okay at his parents' house though!

This isn't intended to be a drip feed but we were at his a while back and some of his friends were staying and one of them heard us despite our attempts to be quiet. So maybe it's because of that

You think?

Anyway, your boyfriend has said that he doesn't want to, so that's that really isn't it?

He said he doesn't want to at his friend's house, which is fine. I just wondered if I should also rule it out at my friends' house.

As for being overheard, that still baffles me as we were very quiet.

As for being overheard, that still baffles me as we were very quiet

Well, not quiet enough obviously. If you find it difficult to gauge whether you're making too much noise, or whether it's appropriate or not, maybe just don't do it for a night or two while you're guests in someone's house?

It sounds as though your boyfriend might feel a bit embarrassed about the previous stay.

I don't think he feels embarrassed. It was at his flat, he initiated it and he agreed that volume was perfectly acceptable.

I see your point though, my judgement in that moment about sound is clearly off so better to abstain.

But as for at his parents' house?

I agree with your boyfriend, it is a bit disrespectful. Why should your hosts have to clean sheets with your bodily fluids on? Why should they have to hear you shagging in their own home?

Just no.

I would never leave messy sheets. And it would never be my intention for them to hear.

I think my perception on this might be a bit off as the friends in question (mine) I previously lived with, with my ex, so of course we had sex under the same roof.

I can entirely understand not having sex in case you’re overheard, but the ‘it’s disrespectful’ argument is as funny as the widespread Mn position that you should never, ever do anything other than wee in a loo outside your own home. Surely in both cases, unless you’re leaving post-Roman orgy sheets or a loo that looks like a Jackson Pollock, the ‘disrespect’ is just inhibition?

We regularly stay over with one couple, who on our first overnight left a bath towel on the guest bed. Not on it, but under the duvet. Which was nice.

Just keep the noise down and don't make a mess ;)

Probably tbh, my boyfriend just slaps a hand over my mouth when I get too loud

We did however go and stay a week abroad in his sisters& BIL's house and I honestly felt very uncomfortable there! + no ensuit so couldn't be discreet.

I once had a guest who went for it with her DP in the room next to mine in my house. It wasn't very nice to listen to.

Keep it as quiet as possible and leave no evidence. If you left me with singing sheets to clean up I wouldn't let you stay there again.

bloody autocorrect. Minging, not singing.

How on earth do you know whether you are quiet or not. You might think you are but really aren't at all.

Abstain for a few days as per your boyfriends request.

Not difficult.

No I wouldn't.

I don't have sex in my own house when we have people over.

We aren't quiet enough. DH is a big bloke and even being vocally quiet bed sounds would be heard.

It isn't difficult

It is. Not because people have to shout and scream, but most beds make noises that can be heard through walls in the quiet of the night. I guess if you are lucky enough to have a bed that makes no noises you might manage not to be heard at all.

Surely it doesn't matter. If anyone isn't comfortable having sex somewhere then that trumps everything?

He doesn't feel comfortable having sex at a friend's house so sex doesn't happen as his discomfort trumps your desire for sex.

If you were uncomfortable having sex somewhere then I'd expect him to take the line that your discomfort trumps his desire for sex.