Let's talk about our grannies

[Firstbornunicorn]

I've just written a lengthy spiel on another thread about my granny.

She died a couple of years ago. I was her oldest grandchild, and we had a very special relationship.

She was clever, mischievous and funny. She never let the truth get in the way of a good story. She spoke her mind, told bad jokes, loved kids, animals, and nature.

She was never really short-tempered, but was as stubborn as a mule. She claimed not to like cats, but then totally fawned over mine. When I was a teenager, she'd ask me to help carry the tea tray on a Sunday, and use it as an excuse to slip a tenner into my pocket.

She always had Ribena and crisps in the house. She read the Mirror and believed every word of it. She was devoutly Catholic, but sometimes a but woo as well.

What was/is your granny like?

My grandmother is 93, and an amazing lady xx

My grandma used to make the most delicious chocolate cakes, I have her handwritten recipe. She did laundry every Monday in the bathroom off the kitchen and used a dolly and mangle, we weren't allowed in the room because it was dangerous. She shut the curtains with a wooden stick and kept a red plastic fly swatter and gave all visiting grandchildren 50p, a teaspoon of jam and a bun she'd made. She died at 101.

My grandma is a holocaust survivor who is nearly 100 and still speaks with a strong Eastern European accent. To her, family is everything and she’s obsessed with family sticking together, probably because she lost all her family. To this day she sees herself different and doesn’t consider herself English with her distain reserved for “the English Jews” of which she doesn’t consider herself to be. According to her she only likes the “continental Jews”. Who are apparently different. Who knew? She’s perfectly happy to be friends with anyone else of any race colour or religion but she considers herself far superior to any Jewish people of her generation born in England. I don’t know why, I assume that she feels they didn’t suffer the hardships she did in the war.

She passionate about her grandchildren and grandchildren remaining Jewish “don’t you dare give hitler the satisfaction of you finishing off what he failed to do” and although she’s totally irreligious everything comes back to being Jewish.

She’s pretty frail now but sharp as anything with plenty of forceful opinions on everything from politics to celebrity gossip and she’s always right.

She can’t cook any more but I’ve strong memories of her cooking lots of traditional food, barley soups, apple strudels, a chocolate yeast cake. Certainly no English food, that would be unthinkable.

She’s an incredible lady, a true matriarch and I treasure the time she has left.

I am loving this thread. Like a few pp I never met my grandparents, they all died before my parents married. I know that my maternal gm was a nurse in London during ww1 and was a very strong, clever woman. She married relatively late in life and had just one child, my mum. If she was alive she would be 130! I really feel I missed out not having grandparents and will follow this thread with interest.

My nana is quite frail now. She can't do much for herself but her mental faculties are still more or less there.

I used to sleep over at her house every weekend. She had a teas maid by her bed. She worried about everything all of the time and still does. She was a terrible cook, burned everything except for her home baking which was always perfect. She always had a tin of wrapped biscuits for me to choose from. And sweeties hidden in her knitting box.

My gran liked dancing before her marriage. She worked as a housemaid. Gran was in a camp during the war. She had severe mental health problems after that. She was mentally too weak to always be a good mum to her kids but she really tried her best. She was a very giving person and also very artistic. She made her gramdchildren lots of toys. A really nice lady. Very feminine too.

Oh, and bacon sandwiches with the bread dipped in the flying pan and cut into quarters. I think of her whenever I have a bacon sandwich. I'll have to go and buy bacon now.

My grandma is amazing. She is 85 and sharp as a tack ( and NEVER stops talking). She will do anything for anyone. She makes the most amazing quilts and I am so lucky ( and my children ) to have her incredible work. She is my mum's mum ( my DM passed when I was 3) and we have always had a very special bond. Last weekend she travelled 5 hrs to see us for the night and bought her famous lemon meringue pie with her as she knows it's my favourite. She called me a " prawn head" when I finally got the courage to tell her I was pregnant at 21 but had been nothing but supportive since. As a child she spent hours making me teddy bears and going on adventures

I love both my grandmothers but was closer to Mama, my mum's mum. She and my grandfather had a big gap between their two children oldest children (my mum and uncle) and the youngest two who were 12 and 10 years older than me. I adored my aunts. The younger one died as a teen when I was 4 years old and thereafter they treated me as their youngest child (my father worked away for long stretches of time and mum and I would go and stay with them)

Mama was painfully shy, hated visitors, in poor health but was passionate about the people she loved and hated cruelty towards any living thing.

I remember a family crisis when she attacked a neighbour with a broom because he had shot a rook and hung the body in his garden as a warning to others. Although she and my grandfather loved their garden growing beautiful flowers and veg she love wildlife more and was outraged by the neighbour.

When I got married there was concern that she wouldn't make it to the wedding but she did. When it came to the photos my grandfather and gt aunt nipped across the road to visit his cousin and go to the loo and missed the photos but my grandmother is there in the front row with a twinkle in her eye and a big smile on her face.

She had beautiful long dark curly hair and the sweetest smile. I loved her so much and gave my daughter her name as a tribute.

Growing up my Grandma was my best friend. All through primary school I didn't have school dinners - I went to her house for lunch everyday. She would turn the gas cooker on to melt the lard in chip pan and walk to school to meet me at 12 o'clock everyday. She made me chips and egg/chips and beans on alternative days . Drink was warm Lucozade (no fridge) (in a crinkly orange sellophane wrapper) in a tiny shot glass - even Grandma understood the implications of too much sugar. I played 'elastic' in her living room. One side of the elastic was wrapped round the back of a dining room chair and the other hooked over the middle drawer of her best dresser. The poor floorboards took some hammering. All children of the 70's will know what I am talking about - apologies to the young'uns.

She walked to our house every single night and babysat while my Mum and Dad went to the pub. Later Mum would driver her home

She came on holiday with us - leaving Grandpa at home.

She had her own bedroom - Grandpa snored too much.

I slept over every Saturday in her bed. No bathroom upstairs so she had a chamber pot under the bed (yes she used it). I used the downstairs loo.

She smoked 40 Senior Service a day.

She taught me everything she knew about her trade (tailoress). Skipping a generation, my mum couldn't thread a needle even if she tried. I could use a sewing machine and put a zip in trousers age 8.

I will never forget the day when I asked her what was for tea and she replied 'shit with sugar on'.

She was a legend.

My maternal grandma was the youngest of 12, never went to school much and was only semi literate. She was apparently an absolute stunner in her youth and at her funeral lots of old men reminisced about her beauty. I remember her as a tiny, very trim old lady with amazing blue eyes.

She was an incredibly competent women, her cooking, baking, sewing, gardening, housekeeping and taste in clothes and house decor were all exemplary. I wonder what she would have achieved if she had had an education and lived now?

I dunno, she was gentle, kind, quiet, reserved. She adored my Grandad. But I absolutely adored my Grandad; we were each other's two eyes, so my Gran was just sort of in the background and we weren't very close. I guess I wish I had known her better, I think we would've got on as adults.

Mine died at 91 & that really broke me. She faded away with dementia but was so loving until the last. Had a harrowing life but was so beautiful and kind. Used to share a bed when I was a small girl. I was definitely her favourite!

My maternal Grandma died a couple of years ago. She looked after me when my mum went back to work when I was a baby and in school holidays and always came on holiday with us every year. She had lots of grandchildren and I was her youngest and the one who spent the most time with her.

She would spend hours sat on my bedroom floor playing with my dolls and at the time she was in her 70s - I don't know how she did it but she never complained.

She came on holiday with us every year and I'd share a little twin bedroom with her in a caravan. Every night she would say 'good night and god bless' to me. When we went in the arcade as a family her and my mum would spend hours on the 2p machines and me and my dad would play racing games or air hockey.

Every time Gran left my house or whenever I left hers she'd go to shake my hand and shove some money in my hand, she'd always bring sweets round too even though my mum told her not to.

She developed dementia in her last few years which was heartbreaking to see. At least now that she's gone she isn't suffering any more. I don't really believe in anything but a few months after she'd died my mum said she felt this light feeling and said that she was sure that my gran had found peace.

My strongest ally for as long as she lived. Someone who believed in me no matter what.

My maternal grandmother was a complete narssistic bitch. My dad described her as a cross between Hyacinthe bouquet and Margaret Thatcher!

When I was 13 or 14, she told me I was putting on weight and needed to watch my weight, it was Christmas Day, my dad was carving the turkey at the time, and I thought he might murder her with the carving knife (he probably wanted to!!).

My Nana was the very best Nana I ever could have wished for. She died 5 years ago when I was 16, I miss her dearly.

She loved me so much and would have done absolutely anything for me. She was so funny, kind and generous. I have lovely memories with her that I will treasure forever. I worry that I am beginning to forget the sound of her voice. I miss her smell.

Watching her die was absolutely heartbreaking, I remember thinking 'come on please just take another breath' I held her hand until the very last one.

She never got to see me graduate, or get my good job, meet my partner, see me happy... she won't be at my wedding and she won't meet my babies.

Wherever she is or isn't, I know she left us knowing how much we all loved and appreciated her. I hope she's somewhere beautiful looking down on us and I hope I make her proud.

Oh my goodness. Is anyone one else crying? This thread is lovely.

My grandmother was amazing, she died last year and I miss her every day.
She was fierce and loyal, a strong Irish farmers wife with a huge amount of love. She was the strongest woman I know and the matriarch of our family, she had 9 children and 14 grandchildren.
I was the eldest granddaughter and I was spoiled rotten as a child.

My maternal GM on the other hand is a nasty, narcissistic evil bitch, I wouldn’t spit on her if she was on fire. She’s rotting in a nursing home with advanced dementia and it serves her right.

@notangelinajolie I know! What have I started?! 😭😭😭

I feel incredibly fortunate that my mum had me at 24 and I had my daughter at 21, so my nana (DDs great nana) is only now 71. Sadly my grandad died earlier this year and it's really knocked her confidence, but she really is the most amazing person.

Kind, funny, adores children and does so many sweet little things. One of them, which she's always done ever since we were babies, is give us a HUGE bag of Christmas presents (mostly small fun things, she isn't well off) but wraps each present in the bag individually, including single pens, post-its, single chocolate bars etc. and on each present writes a 'to Red Panda merry Christmas love from nana and grandad xxx'
It must take her DAYS as sometimes we've had 50 presents in a bag. And she has 4 grandchildren she does this for!

Other things I love about her:

• when we used to ask 'nana what's for tea?' every Friday she would reply 'a run around the table'.
• she's originally from Northumberland so, even though she has lived in the NW for 40-odd years, still has a lovely soft Geordie accent.
• spends ages finding the perfect bouquet of white roses to put on my grandad's grave every weekend.
• loves car boot sales, adores a bargain, goes to them rain or shine.
• is a huge fan of cake. Often has 3 or 4 portions of cake after a birthday meal!

All too often on mn we read threads where mums want to limit (or completely cut) contact between their kids and the grandparents

I deleted my original post about my other grandma. It got too sad to write and too long because of the complicated estrangement context that included a seriously hefty dose of grandparental/parental alienation, on top my grandparents own .. very imperfect choices at the time.

She died grieving for her son, and I had no idea she was still alive at over 100. It hadn't occurred to me she might still be around. Nobody tried to inform us of our father's death, we found out from random people discussing it online, months after he was gone. I just assumed she'd passed long before and if we weren't worth informing when our dad died, fat chance for a grandmother.

Had I known, had I had the chance, I would have flown over if she was willing to see me. Told her all these decades on, and becoming a mother myself, I understood a lot better why she chose her son over all other considerations. Then introduce her to my boy. So she could see the son she loved so very very much again, living on into the future, in the near identical face and build of the adult grandson she'd never met before. Their striking similarly has been a massive comfort to me since my dad's death. Dad can't be gone forever while featuring so strongly in the generations that came after him. I would have liked her to have had the chance to get the same sort of comfort.

I wish I had had the chance to offer her that. She might not have wanted to. But at least she wouldn't have died probably thinking I hadn't cared about her for decades. Because that wasn't true.

You can cut contact, but it doesn't come with a guarantee of a clean break where hearts are concerned. Even decades later chickens can be coming home to roost on a regular basis.

My nan is amazing. She's 87, tiny (4'10") and very feisty. She brought me up for much of my childhood and I lived with her again when I left home at 18. When I got married, we bought a house in the next street to her so that we could stay close. She always worked, and had a difficult childhood, with her dad dying in the war. Her younger brother had Down Syndrome and When her dad died, her mum couldn't cope and committed suicide. Her brother was put into a home and she was taken from Scotland to England to live with an aunt who resented having her and abused her terribly. She didn't talk about her childhood until recently, whenever I asked about her scars (her aunt split her face with a broken bottle) she would tell a different story every time, all of them made up. She was also widowed young and has never looked at another man.

Despite this background, she is cheerful, loving and fiercely independent. I have found her a tower of strength since DH was diagnosed with a terminal illness, because she knows how it feels to be in our situation.

I have loved reading about all these wonderful women.

My grandma was simply fabulous. She was evacuated during WW2 and had an absolute ball. She recalled dancing the black bottom with an American GI amongst other stories.

She was simply the kindest, most patient and lovely person I've ever known. Her house was always full of waifs and strays that she'd met (often at bus stops!!)

She taught me to cook, knit and sew. She used to come into my school to teach 'crafts' and I was so proud of her.

She was very silly and loved to laugh. Even when the dementia eventually took over, she would giggle at the imaginary animals (wearing hats & often smoking cigars) who visited her in her lounge.

One thing that always stuck with me - we were in her front room, reading or sewing and just being content. I was about ten. Out of nowhere she piped up 'Isn't it wonderful when you're with a person who you can sit with without talking? You know then that you're with someone special who makes you happy like I am with you.'

She made me feel very loved and I miss her every day.

One of my best friends has never known any grandparents because they all died before she was born - her own parents were quite chaotic and she has quite low self esteem as a result, I often think the pure, unconditional love of a grandparent could have offset some of that. I actually feel quite sad for the relationships she has missed out on, but she thinks I’m bonkers because she doesn’t know any different!

Cesira