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Let's talk about our grannies

95 replies

Firstbornunicorn · 29/09/2018 20:45

I've just written a lengthy spiel on another thread about my granny.

She died a couple of years ago. I was her oldest grandchild, and we had a very special relationship.

She was clever, mischievous and funny. She never let the truth get in the way of a good story. She spoke her mind, told bad jokes, loved kids, animals, and nature.

She was never really short-tempered, but was as stubborn as a mule. She claimed not to like cats, but then totally fawned over mine. When I was a teenager, she'd ask me to help carry the tea tray on a Sunday, and use it as an excuse to slip a tenner into my pocket.

She always had Ribena and crisps in the house. She read the Mirror and believed every word of it. She was devoutly Catholic, but sometimes a but woo as well.

What was/is your granny like?

OP posts:
Firstbornunicorn · 29/09/2018 21:45

I saw less of my maternal granny growing up.

Her story was pretty heartbreaking, though. Evacuated to Dublin during the war, then lived through the troubles in Belfast. She saw so many of her friends and neighbours suffer and be killed, but she taught her children tolerance, understanding and respect.

Grandad died from cancer and left her with 7 kids to raise. The youngest was 3.

Even after all that, my enduring memory of her is that she was always laughing. She found humour in every single situation.

She didn't have a lot of formal schooling, but she went to night classes to get her GCSE English during the troubles, "for fun".

She was the hardest working lady ever. She would walk right past men banging bin kids (which meant trouble was coming) to open up the shop she worked in. She was on the scene of the corporals killings in the 80s, and was traumatised and heartbroken for everyone involved.

She was loving. She gave the best hugs. She had the voice of an angel and could cook a meal fit for a king from an Oxo cube and some table scraps.

Sadly, she developed dementia when I was at university, and died the year after I got married. But I'll never remember my mum and her siblings chatting to the priest about her, and how much they were laughing as they told stories about her, because that's exactly how she'd have dealt with the crippling sadness of having to say goodbye forever.

OP posts:
CesiraAndEnrico · 29/09/2018 21:47

frogface69

I am filled with raging envy that you got a lion !

A real live LION !

I couldn't even squeeze a much longed for pony out of my family. I got a poxy cuddle toy horse instead.

While other people got LIONS!!!!

So unfair. Grin

Themidnightcircus · 29/09/2018 21:47

Oh I loved my nanna so much. I'd take her a chippy tea every week.... even when I'd moved a 1.5hrs away. She was lovely...and she'd always give me away a supply pack with cans of drink (the teeny tiny ones of 50ml even when I was an adult) and sweeties.

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HearMeSnore · 29/09/2018 21:49

My Gran was permanently in the kitchen. She had a living room, but spent all her time in the kitchen. She and my grandad had armchairs in front of the fire and a small portable TV on top of the fridge. The only time she went in the "front room" was to watch Crossroads, which he couldn't stand.

She had an old twin-tub washing machine and a hand-cranked Singer sewing machine. She always had a wrap-around overall on. She only took it off to go to church. She baked every day, but never had much luck with sponge cakes. They didn't rise. She called them her "bricks". Grandad said they were multi-purpose: you could either eat them or play them on the gramophone.

She was down to earth but always polite and cheerful. She had nothing bad to say about anyone (but could make a disapproving face that made her thoughts clear when necessary). She was stoic in the face of any hardship but was terrified of mice and earthworms.

She was a big lady, with high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes but she would not leave the double cream and sugary pop alone. She fried her chips in dripping and used to trowel salted Green Meadow butter onto her bread. Needless to say, it was her heart that gave out in the end.

She used to loudly proclaim that she had nine grandchildren and loved them all equally. Then she'd wink at me and mutter "especially this one", although she often couldn't remember my name and went through half a dozen of my cousins' and aunts' names before landing on the right one.

I lost her when I was 16 and then wasn't anybody's favourite any more.

Firstbornunicorn · 29/09/2018 21:55

@frogface69 WHAAAT!

My post about my maternal granny is full of errors. I'm sorry. I'm a bit pregnant at the moment, so am alternating between crying at all these posts, writing posts, and puking 😂

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bananasandwicheseveryday · 29/09/2018 21:55

My paternal grandmother died when my Dad was a little boy. She was very young when she died, younger than I was when I had my pfb, she left four children behind. I am named after her. My maternal grandmother died a few years ago at a great age. She'd had a hard life - cared for her ILs and her own along father for many years. She had a wonderful sense of humour, an energy and passion for life that someone half her face would have envied and always made me feel loved and special. She had a special name for me and used it right up to her final illness.
I have recently become a grandmother. If I can be half as good at it as she was, I will feel I've done a good job. It's times like this I miss her lost - she was so proud of becoming a great grandmother and would have absolutely burst at becoming a great great grandmother.

IHeartMarmiteToast · 29/09/2018 21:58

My mother's mum was a proper granny. Head of the family, white hair in a bun. Baked her own bread and cakes weekly and lived with her bil after her husband died. As you didn't leave home in those days until you married and great uncle John never did . She was a Christian, and anti gambling and drinking but loved bingo, pontoon, bridge and a sherry . Loved snooker Steve Davis and hurricane Higgins but not Hendry if you please. She was a difficult person but I loved her. .. I'm sad she hasn't seen my girls...

bushtailadventures · 29/09/2018 22:00

My maternal Nanny took me in whenever my DM was ill, which was often. I must have eaten other lunches but I only remember having tomato soup with mashed potato in (a comfort meal if ever there was one). You knew what tea would be every day of the week, she had a set menu and rarely deviated from it. She and my Granddad took turns to get the tea try in the morning, I used to get in between them and drink sugary tea from my Mr Man mug. She gave brilliant cuddles! When I had my dd young, they took us in and looked after us. She doted on my dd and gave her so much love. She's been dead 22 years and I miss her every day.

IamMummyhearmeROAR · 29/09/2018 22:00

Only knew one and she was a beautiful lady who had a tough life. She grafted hard from her early teens. She smelled of powder and Oil of Ulay. She gave me pennies every Saturday in a paper bag even when I was an adult, that was sugary as she bought her fruit jellies in it every week. She was kind and gentle and never complained. She died when I was about 26 and I miss her every day.

motherstongue · 29/09/2018 22:01

We just did a wedding dress exhibition in our local church with dresses Dating from 1935 onwards and I contacted everyone in relation to each dress we put on show to get a wee human story behind each one and I heard some absolutely lovely stories of people's mums and grannies. I felt sooooo privelged! The grannies were awesome women in every instance! Made me want to get off my are and do more with my life as a result!

motherstongue · 29/09/2018 22:02

Meant "my arse". Too much alcohol tonight. Lol

Faster · 29/09/2018 22:06

My grandmas was the best grandma. Just like everyone else’s hopefully.
She drove an ambulance in WW2, she delivered babies during air raids, she had five children and adopted two more.
In her late 80’s and before the dementia really set in she would have a little brandy and one Thornton’s chocolate before breakfast. Because she bloody could. If I’m half the woman she is then I’m happy.

frogface69 · 29/09/2018 22:10

Cesira I am sorry.. I loved that lion His mane that was like brillo pads the bad breath could knock you out, though thinking burps really.
Well
But yes a real lion.
He used to lay on my mams handbag with her cigs in it. He knew she didn't like him. She would say call that cat away. I never did. It was too funny.

IdblowJonSnow · 29/09/2018 22:11

Some great memories here. My grandma on the other hand was a cold, insensitive and antagonistic woman who fucked my mum up somewhat. She said and did some horrible things although she wasn't all bad. She was a great cook and could be very generous. She also had a very sweet tooth and loved to play dominoes. My paternal nan was much nicer, i think, although I knew her far less as she lived much further away. None of them lived to be very old and they've been gone for decades and I'm only early 40s. My own mum has managed to be a much better grandma to my kids thankfully.

DerelictWreck · 29/09/2018 22:12

MY maternal grandmother was like an extension of my mum. She was steadfast, kind, wise and always had time for us. Upon arrival to her house we would each be presented with our favourite baked goods, and both my grandparents would hide in the walk-in pantry with us and sneak us treats!

She would sit and play cards or board games with me for hours, never missed an episode of countdown, and would let me lie with my head on her lap while she stroked my hair.

The last few years of her life were horrendous - largely immobile, completely taken by alzheimers and we had to spoon feed her each meal. But if I lay my head in her lap she would still stroke my hair automatically. That maternal part of her never left.

Sonrienta · 29/09/2018 22:13

Oh I miss my nan. The most amazing and strong woman, with humour, warmth, kindness and patience and love, always for me. With a bi-polar mother and an alcoholic father I’d have been lost without her. Whenever anyone asks how I survived my childhood, I know it’s because of the security she provided - her heart was my home.

llangennith · 29/09/2018 22:26

My Swansea Nanna was a fabulous grandmother to every one of us GC. Unlike my DM who was a complete bitch. However DM once said to me (when I was saying how lovely Nanna was compared to her) "she wasn't always like that". So I think some women may be lovely grandmas but may not have been the best of mothers.

CesiraAndEnrico · 29/09/2018 22:26

frogface69

If you never took him to school, smeared a specific tormenting little git with Caramacs and let Leo eat him, you are a better former tiny woman than I would have been.

Grin

Oh man, I am still so jealous. It's not like I wouldn't have settled for just a monkey at the grandparental/parental negotiation table, I wasn't an unreasonable child stifles shouts of LIAR from anybody who knew me as a child But I would have loved a lion in the family. I've never met a cat of any size that I didn't like.

CesiraAndEnrico · 29/09/2018 22:30

Sonrienta

Oh love. For you it must be such a magnifed loss.

MaverickSnoopy · 29/09/2018 22:30

My maternal grandmother died before I was born but I have wonderful stories about the woman she was. My paternal grandmother was very much the family matriarch. If she were alive today she would be 110. She was born upper class and married a vicar, raising her rambunctious and large family in a vicarage. She was however devoutly catholic. She woke at 4am every day to bake fresh bread and made everything from scratch. She did everything "properly" and even now her children say "oooh Mummy wouldn't be pleased". She delivered meals on wheels to "old people" when she herself was in her 80s and she carried polos in her knitting bag (in fact, every bag). Every time we visited she would give me ribena in abundance and every morning a digestive biscuit and glass of milk before breakfast, of which was always cereal and toast followed by a cooked breakfast, complete with linen tablecloth and posh crockery, including teapot and cosy. She made the best cocoa. She was pretty much a MIL from hell but my mum handled her with dignity and poise. If my family are on here I've outed myself.

I don't often think about her and we weren't close as such but I do think fondly of her.

itbemay · 29/09/2018 22:32

My maternal grandmother always smelt of max factor powder and golden Virginia, she was a real lady, always immaculate but sadly died when I was around 10yo.

My paternal grandmother was an absolute riot! Proper south east Londoner, potty mouthed, smoked like a trouper and loved a gin. Died age 93 as sharp as she was in her prime, I miss her like mad and if I hear the hill street blues theme tune it always reminds me of her.

Wineto grandmothers

pasturesgreen · 29/09/2018 22:37

My paternal grandma was incredibly glamourous. She was born right at the start of WW1 and used to tell stories of when her father came home on leave sometime in 1917, bringing a doll for her. Up until then it had always been just her and her mother and she didn't really know who that strange man was. I still have the doll, a beautiful thing dressed in faded azure silk.

She was an only child and spoilt rotten by her parents. She had a love of clothes and enjoyed shopping. I remember even as an old woman she took great pride in her appearance, she wore the best shoes, gloves, hats...She had heaps of silk dresses and furs (obviously not so frowned upon then).

She was widowed young and carved out a new life for herself, went travelling. She used to get me a bouquet of pink roses on my birthday, adding one more rose for every year.

She had dementia in her last years, which was heartbreaking to witness. She cared about her appearance to the very end, still enjoying her clothes and jewellery. God, how I miss her! She's been gone nearly 18 years and not a day goes by that I don't think of her. I take after her a lot, I do like to believe she'd appreciate the woman I've grown into.

treaclesoda · 29/09/2018 22:40

I never knew my grannies. I think I would have loved them.

A good granny is a fantastic thing in life. Smile

BillywigSting · 29/09/2018 22:43

My paternal nana was lovely.

Kind, open, gentle but not wet, she was tough as old boots and fiercely intelligent.
She was witty too, and had a wicked, dry sense of humour.

She didn't have a bad word to say about anyone, and despite her upbringing (rural Irish Catholic in the 30s) she was exceptionally liberal. She had no problems with either my dad marrying my CofE mum, or my uncle being gay, or either myself or my cousin having children before we were married. She didn't bat an eyelid when either my dad and my aunt got divorced.

She told me once, that she wrote to her cousin in England when her children went to university, asking for condoms so she could slip them into their luggage because her doctor wouldn't suddenly give her any more, and she knew full well what kind of shenanigans students get up to.

She was also very houseproud which my parents aren't, so I loved visiting her house because it was lovely (I couldn't put finger on why until recently, but I think it was because it was clean).

My aunt and my little cousin lived in the same house, and our nana would make us sugar sandwiches on thick fluffy white bread, with half an inch of butter and several spoons of sugar, and tell us not to tell our mams. She would make us ice cream floats with red lemonade so it would go all pink, and sing us lullabies when we couldn't sleep.

She was also tiny, but whenever she said jump, all six of her children said how high, and if she ever had to raise her voice or have an argument with an adult while we were in earshot she would speak in Irish so we wouldn't understand the swearing (she didn't cotton on that we understood the swear words long before either of us could string together a sentence in irish)

She was also a fabulous baker and made the best pies and cakes, but her gravy was bloody awful.

She died a few years ago, and we held her wake in the 'posh' hotel in her town, the people didn't all fit in the hotel and a lot of them ended up milling around the grounds saying it was just like Eleanor to have the courtesy to die in the summer so we didn't all get too much rain in our beer.

My maternal granny still alive and is alright in small doses when she's in a good mood, and does the things that granny's do, slipping money into pockets on the sly and making sure that grandchildrens favourite food is in.
She's become a good deal more cantankerous in her old age, which is understandable as she suffers with myriad health problems now and is in pain more often than not.
She's also a really really excellent cook and despite her giving me her recipes I can't get my food to taste like hers. She's also a really cracking host and is really good at making all of her guests feel welcome and at ease, especially at Christmas.

She still dotes on my dead grandad (who is actually my mum's step dad) and can be a bit heavy going when she gets wistful of him, but I don't think she ever loved anyone quite as much as him, and he died quite young, only in his mid fifties.

As a child I thought she was wonderful, but as an adult, and after a few skeletons have fallen out of closets, I can see she can be actually quite a difficult woman if things don't go exactly her way (and can easily see why she and my mum had a quite volatile relationship for a long time).

She is lovely to her grandchildren, but can be quite awful to her daughters, which somewhat takes her shine off, especially since having my own child. I can't imagine saying /doing to my dc some of the things she has said/done to my mum and aunts.

Hobnobsandacuppa · 29/09/2018 22:43

What a lovely thread and so fitting as an old pic popped up on my fb timeline today of her.

She was just amazing most if not all of my childhood memories involve her. She was a lovely little old Jamaican lady, you could go and talk to her about anything and she wouldn't judge a soul, always offered the best advice and when she couldn't offer advice or we were still upset she would send us upstairs to get her "secret" rum bottle, that she claimed was the same one she came over from jamacia with and was only brought out when someone needed a pick me up, it was probably the same bottle but the contents had definitely been refilled over the years Grin

She had a very hard life before she came here, had lost 3 children in infancy and childbirth and was forced to leave her eldest child back home and never saw him again until he died Sad
She was the strongest, funniest woman I have ever met. I lived with her and my pops from the age of 9 until 16 and live my life daily by what she alone taught me.

I remember her hands were always cold and anytime I was sick I would go and get in her bed and she would put them on my forehead until I fell asleep, I miss her everyday even moreso that I'm going through alot and all I want to do is get in her little single bed and have her put her hands on my forehead and tell me everything is going to be ok Sad
The day she died our family fell apart and it will never be the same again.

Oh and she always used to talk about her funeral and told me she wanted me to wear the brightest red dress and hat I could find, which of course I did, much to the dismay to the rest of the guests Grin she would have loved it and slapped my arse as I walked pass her saying "buzz shake what ya granny gave yu" I hope I did her proud.

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