Wwyd school mum blanking me

[speculooss]

My dd goes to a very small school. There’s 14 dc in her class. One of the mums has for the last few months taken to completely blanking me, any hellos or morning she just acts like she hasn’t seen me. Previously I’d assumed it was me being paranoid but today I went up to her and said hello and she blanked me and walked off and then did a super over the top hug to someone else.

Anyway Im quite a soft person and it’s left me feeling a bit anxious as to why she’s blanking me and what I should do about it, she’s our class representative and recently been made chair of the parent association for the school so I’m feeling super awkward about it all. I can’t think of anything I’ve done. I’m a bit worried it will spill out onto my dc eventually tbh as it’s such a small school and she has on a couple of occasions walked past me and dc. My dc is a massive softy as well so I don’t think there’s a problem there.

I have no idea how to deal with this or if I should just ignore it. She has a dc in an older year and seems nice enough to everyone else. Basically I think what I’m trying to say is should I do anything or just accept that she’s decided she doesn’t want to say hello to me anymore??

Believe me, Secondary School is heavenly.

I have one or two contacts on WhatsApp for carshares on school late events like sport or drama rehearsals. A Facebook page for asking things I've forgotten or lost (or don't understand). Other than that it's nothing......free to just be me and spent precious time with real friends.

Bliss.

She said no but I could see the WTF fleetingly cross her face.

Yup just pitching in to say I had one like this. Equally small class. Had apparently decided ds 5 was some kind of thug and bully to her son. He wasn't and non of the other parents had any issue. She blanked me and he was not invited to birthday parties and when we left she was the only one not to wish us well. Whatever, her problem. I used to find it amusing and always said a cheery hello!

@Oliversmumsarmy that is awful! It’s just awful the meanness around.
Thanks @Rainbowtrain

Oh dear I'm glad I'm done with those days!! Ignore and don't let her add you on Facebook. Don't waste valuable time and effort worrying if she is going to say hi, look for like minded people who you can feel comfortable with

Yes, I had same. Was effectively Wendied! Nasty piece of work. Other mums could see what was happening but did/said nothing . My DS left out of everything she organised despite being highly popular with his peers. It upset his classmates too that he was left out! Still to this day don't know why she did it to me neither do the other mums. Was very isolating and hurtful at times. DS at secondary now so I don't have to deal with it anymore. I wish I'd been stronger and called her out on it or better still ignored it completely. Angry at myself I let her get to me and allowed it to ruin my primary sch experience with my son. Be strong op and don't let her interfere with your enjoyment of these early years at sch. 💐x

Teenage bitchiness never seems to go away with some....and I would bet these women are also nightmare DILs who then become nightmare MILs

My experience was when DC started at infants/junior schools when we moved house. DD was very popular in the class and made friends easily. The playground mafia were all pally until they discovered we lived in the council houses then blanked until DD was in year 6, when they found out she wouldn't be going to the secondary but a indie girls school.(free bursary place). Then the invitations came thick and fast...we were too 'busy' for those.

@Feckitall that’s awful.

I survived the afternoon! I will be going in on Monday with a different head on my shoulders.
Thanks so much to all. Nice to hear I’m not alone!

@speculooss
I just ignored, fortunately DD made other friends and was just friendly within school with the mafias little special darlings It was an odd snobbery..I think I have said on here before of the behaviour of some of these mums...the performance parenting.......the exaggerated end of school welcomes...DC come out to run into mummies arms..especially after Princess Di was pictured hugging William and Harry ...it was cringy...this was a state junior...they had been away from mummy for 6 hours...not weeks... my DC were bemused/found it hilarious

Really the only advice is to find it funny that they are so insecure they need to behave that way!

Well done OP. IME once you move out of the mindset of “oh my god what have I done wrong?” and into the mindset of “oh look, there’s that poor woman who has never learned how to behave in public” then they sense it and stop trying to pull their bullshit on you.

I have a 17yo and I went through it all back when she was in primary. I also now have a 4yo and a 2.5yo and this time round I’m smiling and waving, just smiling and waving

Honestly just ignore her too OP. She doesn't like you, and she doesn't have to.. That's the bottom line so why even give her the time of day? It's not as if you're friends. Save your time and interest for friends and pleasant acquaintances.

I do wonder if it is nature's way of preparing you for parenting teens. The behaviour of the alpha mothers is exactly the same MO as the alpha girls in the witching years 7/8 to 10, exclusion, manipulating the norms, intolerance of difference. It's a useful reminder when you haven't encountered it anywhere since your own schooldays (unless possibly you spent time in a women's prison......)

I have this at the moment with one school mum in particular. My favourite game is to walk towards her at a fast pace to watch her almost run away from me. It's very amusing.

It never ceases to amaze me how some people just mentally never actually leave the playground!
They grow up and leave school, get a job have kids and still maintain this childish playground mentality, maybe being back in a school environment triggers something in them to behave as they did when they were a child?! Who knows? I just find it fucking odd and embarrassing that an adult can behave like this.
I wouldn’t bother giving her the time of day, clearly she gets some sort of power from ignoring you, don’t let her have it anymore and forget she exists.