What do siblings add to your life if they are 6 plus years younger

[justwouldliketoknow]

I've missed the boat to have my dcs close together in age and so now have an older ds. Dh is trying to convince me to try for another baby. I am reluctant for a number of reasons . Dh says we should do it for ds. I'm an only and don't feel like I've missed out on anything. I also think the benefit of siblings come when they are closer in age and play together. Not sure I can see many positives for a 7yo. DH says they will have each other when older and adults

So as I have never experienced sibling relationships can you enlighten me on what they are like pls

OP if you are reluctant then DONT DO IT. It’s fine for your husband to say that “we” should do it. Unless he is going tp gets pregnant, give birth, breastfeed and take maternity leave then you have the deciding vote.

Did you take family leave or go part time after your sonwas born? If so, suggest that its his turn this time and see how keen he is.

Very few people are going to post that they hate their brother or sister. And not one will say “ oh I miss the sibling i never had “. There are Many many only children - read some of the threads about them.

You must do what’s best for YOU and your son will adapt.

My sister that's 2 years older is my best friend whereas my younger sisters, 6 & 8 years and a brother who's ten years younger we don't really bother at all with each other, we get on fine, we just don't really communicate at all. I haven't spoken to my brother in over 6 months 😳 we just seem to have no real common ground and I hated my youngest sister when she was born until about 5 as I felt she ruined the dynamic and was like this amazing creature that everyone fawned over. I've no idea why I felt like this! I just remember dad telling me she was born and thinking god I hate her she's ruined everything!!!!!!!

she Went off to uni when I was 11, 1 spent most weekends going off to visit here. Fab for m4 and lovely for her too I’m sur ....or maybe not.

My sister is 5 years younger. Truly as adults we've never noticed the age difference. We like the same things, have the same sense of humour and love and appreciate each other very much. I don't think six years is a massive age difference at all.

I have 7 years between DD2 and DD3. Its lovely. Much better than the 18mth between the eldest 2!

I think one other thing you need to be careful of is the issue of homework/tutoring help in the evening for late-primary-aged kids, if these apply in your area.

I am hoping to prepare my older child for a private secondary school in the next few years, and I anticipate that it will be a bit harder due to having a young child around!

Some money will probably have to be thrown at the situation, like getting a mother's help in for certain evenings, or having tutoring take place for slightly larger amounts of time per week to make up for the fact that I won't be able to do quite as much to support my eldest.

7 years between my oldest two and they have a great bond. When we go outside my 3 year old insists on holding his brother’s hand, it’s so sweet.

Actually, Orlaith is right. I posted about sibling pairs I know who are close even though they're far apart in age, but re-reading your OP you say you have a number of reasons not to want to have another child.

If the ONLY reason is that you're concerned they might not be friends, well even kids who are close in age are sometimes not friends. However, it sounds like that's only one of a number of reasons.

I'm so done with pregnancy and having small babies - I love my life as it is now with kids getting more independent and fun to be with. I met my newborn nephew a few days ago, caught DH's eye and he was looking all worried that maybe I would be broody and I shook my head at him - just had NO desire to go through it again. None at all. The fact that my health was pretty much destroyed for a few years is a huge factor as well. You are allowed to be "done".

My dad (now 76yo) is 10-22 yrs older than almost all of his siblings & is good friends with almost all. There's one baby brother he doesn't see any of... and he doesn't talk politics with most of them. (Dad is the leftie, they are mostly right-wing)

There's 10 years between my two and they love each other to bits. Both actually say that they love the other most out of everyone. My eldest was a bit of a 2nd mummy as she can remember changing nappies and feeding bottles and taking care of the little one. The little one looks up to her big sister and thinks she's the best and knows she will always look out for her. They are 24 and 14 now btw.

From my POV it was quite daunting starting again with the baby stage and it is basically like having two only children but I wouldn't change anything. I know if anything happens to me my girls have each other.

10 years between my brother and I and we are much closer than my sis and I dog only share a 4 year gap. As they get older Op, the gap will have less relevance x

Oh dear I meant *who not dog!

I thought there would be loads of "my sibling ruined my life I was so resentful when they came along that I had to share my parents and they stopped me enjoying activities like bowling and cinema. and days out because we had to go to soft play .. type stuff!

I very much resented the brother who is three years younger than me.

Loved the socks off the one born when I was seven from the second he arrived.

8 years between me and my DTSis’s. It was great when they were both younger, then we grew apart as we got older. We get on fine now, but have very little in common and its a bit awkward when we’re all together, as obviously they’re so close being DT’s. I’m adopted too and they’re not.

I'm the total opposite to most on here! I'm 6 years older, we grew up like 2 only children and have never been close. I'm on the verge of going NC with her but that's a whole other thread!

6 years between my two. They are very loving to one another if not close friends. DS is 20 and slips DD the odd five here and there, drives her round places and is a confidante in a way that she cannot talk to her parents.

Nothing has ever beaten witnessing my 2 older dc fall madly, deeply and rapidly in love with my 2 younger dc. They are all still great friends to each other and enjoy being together as young adults. ( almost 10 years between eldest and youngest)

5 years between my first and my third and they get on really well. DH has 12 and 15 year gaps in his family and they had huge fun with them as babies/kids and now they are all adults they are close .

My “baby” brother (not a baby anymore but I still think of him like that) is 12 years younger than me. We were very close when he was little. I used to look after him a lot when my mum was at work. Once he hit puberty he got a bit too cool to hang out with his older sister but now he’s reached the end of his teen years, he’s started to ask if we can meet up more.

He’s amazing, hilarious and I’m so proud of him. I feel incredibly lucky to have him in my life as he’s enriched it beyond belief

(I also have a brother one year younger than me and we’re also very good friends)

There's a 6 year gap between my two and so far they love each other (we are only 7 months in!). I am not a fan of my sibling of a similar age gap (8 yrs).