What misconceptions did you have as a child?

[Geekster1963]

I always used to think that a 99 Ice cream was called that because it cost 99p. If only it did cost that now. I used to think Pubs that said ‘free house’ on them meant you got free drinks.

I used to think only men were allowed to drive cars, buses and lorries. This pissed me off because I liked cars and wanted to learn to drive myself.

at LightDrizzle!

@Paddley me too

I thought, if you didn't have any money, you could just write a cheque. Couldn't understand why people didn't do it more often.

Also, had a basic idea of how babies were produced but was confused for a long time about how long a man & woman had to stay in position. Thought they just lay there waiting for the finale.

Haha these are great. I used to think that cows udders were the cows unborn babies in the belly, and that the cows udders were actually the calf’s legs that would dangle down out their belly until they were ready to be born . I used to feel sad for all the cows because of this heavy load. Also I thought the olden days were in black and white.

I remember being about 13 and eating a wonderful new food called Mullerrice
Until I read the ingredients half way through and locust bean gum was one of them. I was nearly sick thinking there was ground up insects in my yogurt

I also didn't understand gravity clearly, because I thought everyone was moving from one side of the room to another so fast that it looked like they were standing still.
I remember to this day trying to catch my mum and dad out by looking just to the side of where they were standing to try and see the blur of them whooshing past.

They must have thought I was a weird child.

Another who thought there were little people inside the radio, or rather big old fashioned 'wireless' then. I still remember trying to get behind it to see the little people, and being so disappointed to see only wires and light bulbs.

I thought it really stupid when squash bottles said 'Dilute to taste' since obviously you could taste it even better before diluting.

Another one which lasted until I am surprisingly old (14 or 15!) was that we used to drive past a launderette which had a big sign on it saying 'Coin Wash' so I thought people took their grubby 1p & 2ps to get washed and shiny again.

@Frazzlerock - that's how I got pregnant, twice ???

Another one who thought a "free house" gave you free beer and food.
I also thought Crematorium was a village/town with a grand-sounding name (there was one near where I lived and we drove past the signpost saying "Crematorium 2 1/2" every day). Didn't twig until I was hundreds of miles away in NE Scotland and there was another town called Crematorium. My dad was very amused when I said it was weird to have two places called that.
My sister thought that cows lay down in the field to churn their milk into butter.

When swimming in the sea at around the age of 10 my Mum always used to say be careful of the currents...... I always wondered what was so dangerous about dried fruit!!!

The book my mum gave me to read about the facts of life was so coy that I didn’t really understand that you had to make contact - I somehow thought that sitting on a lap would be enough for these super sperm to instantly impregnate you!
Thought that teachers stayed over night at the school
That a gar-ah-zh was attached to a house and a garridge was where you got cars repaired (my best attempt at spelling out the pronunciation if you get what I mean - obviously I’d heard middle class people talking about having a gar-ah-zh whereas we lived next door to blokes working in a garridge).

I watched a programme once where two gay men were sitting side-by-side with their hand on each others' leg.

My dad turned off the TV moaning about it being disgusting, unnatural filth and not appropriate for pre-watershed.

For years (an embarrassing number of years) I thought gay men had sex by sitting, fully clothed, beside each other on a sofa and putting their hand on each others' leg.

I used to think that all overweight people were old when I was very small

That houses with 'to let' signs were advertising use of their toilet

That all adverts on the telly were supposed to be funny

“I always used to be in awe of my Dad when he could touch nettles without getting stung. I only realised years later that the ones with the white flowers don’t sting.”

Um, nettles do have white flowers and they do sting...

All the barbs point towards the top of the leaves though, so as long as you move your hands in that direction you can touch and pick nettles without getting stung.

I thought all school teachers became nuns once they retired. I didn't go to a catholic school. I don't think I'd ever even seen a nun. I have no idea where this came from.

I thought you had to stay at school until you got a letter from the prime minister to you personally telling you that you could leave. If you didn't get one by the time you were 20, you automatically became a teacher.

My grandparents used to refer to England as the "motherland" (they came from the Caribbean). I thought that was because all women who lived here were mothers. I thought women who didn't want or couldn't have children were sent to live somewhere else.

That at the end of swimming the lifeguards dived in to pull the plug and let the water out.

When we were leaving the zoo as children, my DB moaned that he still hadn't seen the dangeroos. We all thought they must be something like kangeroos, then he showed us the sign he'd seen earlier.
'These Animals Are Dangerous'

So you know how on a motorway you indicate and then drift to the other lane.. well as a child I thought you pressed a button and the car magically moved sideways

I was in my late 20s before I realised that the dye if you urinated in a swimming pool was an urban myth!

runsweat I went on a school trip to London Zoo and wanted to see the pickpockets after seeing a sign about pickpockets in the area

I used to think that cheese contained eggs.
To be honest I’m still surprised by that.

I used to think that the dogs were male and the cats female.

I used to see a shopkeeper giving change to a customer and thought it was because the customer didn't have enough money to buy the thing they wanted. So the shopkeeper gave them the right money to top them up, then the customer could buy it...