Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What would you think about an 11 year old girl and her 14year old brother sharing a room?

50 replies

beclev24 · 25/09/2018 04:05

Just that really. The house has enough space for them to have a bedroom each but the dad wants to have a separate study for himself.

OP posts:
treaclesoda · 25/09/2018 04:06

I would think it's unfair on both of them as they need their privacy. And I'd judge the dad to be selfish.

Peridot1 · 25/09/2018 04:18

No. Not if there is room. Dad needs another solution to his study wishes. Not fair as both dcs need their own space.

Shadow1234 · 25/09/2018 04:26

Agree. Definitely need their own space at that age. Although there is no law regarding age in the UK, the NSPCC do advise that it is not really appropriate for siblings of opposite sex to share a room over the age of 10. Does the dad not have a shed he can use as a study?? It does seem very selfish tbh.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

11 year olds 14 year olds
Shadow1234 · 25/09/2018 04:30

Obviously, some people do not have a choice, (ie, small house/ cramped conditions/cant afford to move to bigger house) but as you say they could have a room each, but dont, this is not fair on them

Uncreative · 25/09/2018 04:57

Inappropriate. Especially to create a ‘luxury’ space like a study for Dad. Potential for questions to be asked by school as well.

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/09/2018 05:04

If this is your ex and they feel uncomfortable, they need to tell him they won’t be doing any more overnights. He needs to find another solution.

user1483387154 · 25/09/2018 05:07

Completely unfair

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 25/09/2018 05:12

Selfish dad. They need privacy at this age.

llangennith · 25/09/2018 05:19

Inappropriate and unfair to both DC.
What a selfish father they have!

ohlittlepea · 25/09/2018 05:21

Inappropriate.

wondertime · 25/09/2018 05:26

An age where boundaries and privacy should be respected. Selfish of the dad who has obviously forgotten what it feels like to be teenager.

Cupoteap · 25/09/2018 05:26

Selfish dad who cares more about himself than the comfort and privacy of his developing dc.

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/09/2018 05:30

Selfish git.

Mamaryllis · 25/09/2018 05:35

I consulted John Ozimek and Phil Bunce, and they said it was mandatory.

whiteroseredrose · 25/09/2018 05:50

Not on to make them share. Can't he make himself a little study area somewhere else. A friend made one under the stairs.

AwkwardSquad · 25/09/2018 06:08

No. At that age they need privacy. The father is behaving like a selfish prick. My parents separated when I was very young. My father never had a house that was big enough for separate bedrooms for everyone; he’d give up his bedroom when we stayed over.

Rockbird · 25/09/2018 06:22

If there's no choice then it is what it is, but to make them share just so he can have a luxury room is appalling, one of the most selfish things I've read on here.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 25/09/2018 06:29

Because there is no space is understandable, and sometimes brothers and sisters get on better than two sisters sharing. I don't think it is just about sex. There are ways around sharing - changing in bathrooms etc. Sometimes needs must and not everyone can afford a home with more rooms, situations can change. Just because the patriarch wants a larger domain though, that is not a good enough reason.

Tidy2018 · 25/09/2018 06:32

Dreadful suggestion from him. Our office is a cupboard with a large shelf for sitting at, and shelves all the way to the ceiling for storage of files in labelled laundry powder boxes. Teleohone and connections, shredder under shelf. And a lock and key for privacy.

Original poster
beclev24 · 25/09/2018 20:58

thanks everyone. This is my instinct too. It's a close family member and her husband. They are 'separated' but still living together, so the parents each have their own bedroom, the Dad has his own study and the two kids still share a room. I know the daughter is desperate for her own room, especially has her brother has HFA and is quite challenging. I think the Dad is unbelievably selfish to let this happen but I think everyone is a bit scared of him and scared to challenge him on it.

OP posts:
serbska · 25/09/2018 21:25

I’d have said ‘needs must if they absolutely must’ but no fucking way if there is a room being used as a study! What kind of a selfish prick womble has a study and makes his near teenagers share?

serbska · 25/09/2018 21:27

The father has his own bedroom? AND a study? He only needs one room. Twunt

PoptartPoptart · 25/09/2018 21:42

Absolutely not fair.
Obviously if needs must then it’s different, but to have the space for them to have their own privacy but not give it to them is downright wrong and selfish.
The 11yo girl will be starting her periods soon (if she hasn’t already) and developing breasts.
The 14yo boy will be having random errections and possibly wet dreams.
Equally embarrassing and inappropriate and unfair on both of them.
They need their privacy at those ages.
Dad is a selfish dickhead.

Rebecca36 · 25/09/2018 21:44

No, they each need privacy, too old to be sharing. If it was short term or on holiday maybe but boys and girls, after a certain age, generally have their own rooms. Children's rooms are for more than sleeping, they are for keeping and spreading out their own things that are important to them, and playing. There's also the fact that the older one won't want to go to sleep at the same time as the younger and they could disturb eachother.

Dad is being selfish, can he not cordon off a bit of the kitchen or living room?

nocoolnamesleft · 25/09/2018 21:45

What an arsehole. Study in his own fucking bedroom.