What would you do? Teacher comments re autistic son

[Thisisit777]

I’ll try not to drip feed ... high functioning autistic son got ‘effort’ report from main stream high school today. He’s very eager to please and a quiet kid. Tries super hard. Great in some classes - smart as a tack. Struggles to follow in others. No behavioural issues just quiet and geeky. He has been getting bullied but he’s getting over it. As are we. Anyway, his report had a comment on today from a class he dreads going to. A class they are going to put support on for him - I asked for this recently. The teachers comment said: X is really struggling - doesn’t seem to be able to process instructions and even on intervention, just cannot do anything properly asked of him (written exactly like that!). He needs one to one support. I feel like the poor buggers been really trying and do not find this comment helpful. Thankfully he hasn’t seen it. What would you do in my shoes ? I get the teachers frustration but it sounds like he can’t win. Am I over thinking it though? Thanks

I am also ASD and if your son is struggling to understand instructions in that one class only, then the teacher needs to think about reframing the questions, because all the other teachers are able to be understood.

To me that actually sounds positive. They're saying he's struggling, but not blaming him, they've recognised there is an issue. They're looking for a solution, and are seeking a 1-2-1 as a solution. I'd follow that up and say that it's absolutely great he's getting this support, will it be there for next lesson and can he meet the 1-2-1 beforehand.

It’s the ‘he can’t seem to do anything properly asked of him’ that’s making me a bit hmmm.

Preceded by ‘even with intervention’

How old is he? Is it the same teacher for more than one subject, class at a particular time of day, perhaps requiring more concentration to follow the lesson with fewer distractions? In many ways suggesting 1 to 1 is positive although better expression might help.

In order to get the right support for any child with an SEN, staff have to be brutally honest at times. Was the report shared with your child?

Brilliant. Backs up what you have said about him needing more support. Much more useful than a “wooly” comment!

Maybe it’s true. I would ask for a more detailed response as I would want to know exactly what instructions he can’t follow. I would also want a break down of the ‘intervention ‘. Push them and try and work with them.

I would ask to meet up and discuss. For me this is positive.
I don't think of autistic children and high or low functioning. Sometime a child may appear to function but really isn't.
Perhaps the wording came across wrongly. It's sometime hard to put in writing therefore meeting up would be a good plan.

IME they have to make very clear everything a child can't do and prove that the interventions they have done haven't helped, in order to successfully argue for more support, especially if looking for a ECHP later. I would though ask for such comms to be written somewhere your ds won't read, so not in the home-school diary, for example.

*as not and...

I’d arrange a meeting with the Senco and raise that your son seems to be having trouble following instructions particularly in this lesson and see what they can suggest. Perhaps some strategies that other teachers are using with him successfully could be shared?

Also why does he dread the subject? Is it a subject he doesn’t enjoy or finds difficult to understand or does he dislike the teacher or who he sits with for eg?

I can understand your irritation. The crux of this is the comment is blatantly discouraging. It's all very well seeking support however this should not be at the expense of finding something positive to say and nurture in the student. Otherwise when optimum additional support is not gained (rarely is) the outcome is teacher attitudes get more and more negative and discouraging and the student is demoralised further.

Thanks all! Will ponder overnight.

I don’t think it sounds one bit positive! It sounds like they don’t have a clue. I write letters. To everyone. Spelling out what dd needs. Sometimes it becomes so second nature to us that we become irritated by a seeming lack of understanding. Sometimes they just need telling what they need to do and it’s often just small tweaks. I’ve actually just written individual notes to all dd’s teachers with pointers to what she needs and how to help her and tucked them into her relevant exercise books. Each teacher will find one and hopefully find them helpful. It’s a constant merryground and you just have to keep grinding away on their behalf. Good luck.

The wording is very poor for a report that goes to parents.

1. You say high school so this is not UK? 2. Effort report? I am not in UK so, no such thing where I am. 3. You say smart as a tack and super hard and call your DS a bugger, so guessing you are in the USA. If so, you'll need to say more about Effort criteria. Sorry about lack of paragraphs. It's an MN thing.

1. You say high school so this is not UK? DS1 goes to high school, we’re in Scotland. So anyway, to your point OP, I agree it’s clumsily worded and hurtful, BUT I think they’ve done it to try and get support in on the back of it, rather than be nasty about your son. Although, I’ve read things in my kids reports (ASD too) that have been hurtful, even though they’re written to get support for my kids.

I would be upset about a comment like that, however if it is a true reflection and designed to get him more support then maybe it is necessary. Is he new to the school? Can you think of a reason why he finds that lesson particularly challenging? For example my dd will get virtually zero for PE because she has been signed off all term. It doesn't impact as much on other areas. I could see for example resistant materials or maybe science being stand alone areas where without the skill of being able to adhere to safety guidelines and follow instructions to the letter the teacher would have severe concerns. Not to say that other areas wouldn't have similar issues but they might not yet be apparent, for example my dd has done science practical quite a bit but hasn't yet turned on an oven or wielded a needle or saw at school. All four subjects though draw on similar skills. I would be more inclined though to think that it is a teacher problem if he is fine in History and Geography but not RE.

Why does he dread the class? With my HFA son, it was PE and MFL that struggled with him, and in both cases, it was teacher’s attitude and inability to follow the reasonable accommodations that had been agreed for him.

What SilvetApples said. If it's more than one class he struggled with, what are the other teachers saying? Is it the same issue?

I would have phrased it differently, I think.along the lines of ‘X would benefit from support in this lesson, to help him process instructions effectively and thus benefit from the lesson.’ I dont think that 1-1 benefits children of secondary age, except in specific circumstances, because it can promote a learned helplessness. I agree that the teacher’s comments sound as though they are written from frustration, but I think there are better ways of saying the same thing.

I understand you. If a teacher is unable to think about the language phrasing in a report - ie write it in such a way that acknowledges the child's efforts, whilst highlighting areas of concern (it is very accusatory in tone, placing all emphasis of any problem with the child) - I would suggest that that teacher needs some training in how powerful language can be in the classroom to shape positive behavior and outcomes. Particularly with autistic spectrum children.

Just to add, this isn't an attack on the teacher. Just something I have observed first hand many times. It's a skill and one that needs to be actively practised. And so often I have seen the childs difficulties blamed by professionals, when part of the problem lies with a training/professional development need.