What would you do? Teacher comments re autistic son

[Thisisit777]

I’ll try not to drip feed ... high functioning autistic son got ‘effort’ report from main stream high school today. He’s very eager to please and a quiet kid. Tries super hard. Great in some classes - smart as a tack. Struggles to follow in others. No behavioural issues just quiet and geeky. He has been getting bullied but he’s getting over it. As are we. Anyway, his report had a comment on today from a class he dreads going to. A class they are going to put support on for him - I asked for this recently. The teachers comment said: X is really struggling - doesn’t seem to be able to process instructions and even on intervention, just cannot do anything properly asked of him (written exactly like that!). He needs one to one support. I feel like the poor buggers been really trying and do not find this comment helpful. Thankfully he hasn’t seen it. What would you do in my shoes ? I get the teachers frustration but it sounds like he can’t win. Am I over thinking it though? Thanks

Thanks all. It’s a practical class.

Ps. For sure, there is no merit to attacking the teacher for her poor phrasing. I guess I’m just sad really that autism is so misunderstood.

What class is it? Could he drop it?

I'd use that as evidence for need of extra support right now. It's also useful to submit comments like that if you're applying for DLA or PIP.

I know it's horrible to read but it's going to be so much more effective in actually getting support than a few lines saying how nice and co-operative he is when trying hard.

Autism and other SN are very much misunderstood, you can vent here too.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3371418-to-think-things-said-to-sen-parents-can-be-horrific?pg=1

I think if the phrasing in the report is a true representation of the teacher's communication style, I'm not surprised that anyone might struggle with it. I'd also wonder whether the classes he struggles in have a teacher with a similar teaching style.

I once had to ask a secondary school teacher to be less woolly (not in those words!) when setting homework. She'd go off into rambling monologues and then say, right that's the homework. My poor kid had no idea what the homework was or the context surrounding it!

So, separate to any extra help the school can provide for your son, I would also have a word with the teacher anyway. I would ask her to be more direct and use shorter, clearer sentences.

I wonder if the teacher would be open to the idea of giving your son a sheet of written instructions in the class or before the class, so he's got something solid to refer to, as you say it's a practical class.

Just as an aside I am in England and we have High Schools in my county . They are just what secondary comprehensiive schools are known; as X High or Y High for example . We also don’t have grammars do they are not secondary moderns as am aware in some counties this is what SMS are known as .

Has he just started secondary school?
In primary teachers are expected to massively sugar-coat reports but secondary teachers actually are allowed to tell the truth.

Yes secondary.

I must admit I’ve felt pretty crap about it today.

You will always get a few teachers like this in a m/s senior school. My son with ASD had similar comments from one of his teachers in Y7 so I made sure to see that teacher at parents eve and told him; I know DS is different, he's challenging in ways other children are not and he won't win you any prizes on your targets for achievement, HOWEVER these are the reasons I send him to mainstream school and why its the best place for him, would you not choose the same for your child in my situation?

No problems with that teacher since. Actually he spontaneously came up to me to tell me something DS had achieved in his class in Y8.

Teachers are under immense pressure to meet targets and sometimes some of them forget to see the bigger picture for the individual child.

Or that teacher could just be a twat. Does happen

Lol to twat

Although it's really difficult to read, it really will be helpful when applying for funding etc to get more help.

I know it's heart breaking to read and not great for his confidence but it will be useful.

As your son will see it, could you explain it to him with a positive spin on it.

E.g. we know you're trying your best and you're really working hard, but the teacher needs to show that you are struggling before we can get you extra help.

Phrasing is poor but the content is reasonable. It seems what they are saying is that in class your DC is struggling to make progress and even with existing interventions they are concerned about his progress so will look at more comprehensive support options.

I do echo what other posters have said in the difference between primary and secondary reports. Even our parents have commented on it. Secondary reports tend to be:

1. This is what they can do
2. This is what they need to work on to make more/even more progress
3. This is a realistic picture of their attitude as displayed in class

Sometimes report writing can be a pain in the arse because even the most inoccuous statement can be enough to cause a flood of complaints about x y z. (It's why you can sometimes play euphemism bingo with reports)

It seems like they are looking for a way forward but if it puts your mind at ease then you could always call the teacher

Yes I think the letter has been poorly worded OP, it's the "just cannot do anything properly asked of him" bit that's the worst. I wpuld probably contact the school and have a meeting with the teacher to see what they think would help and possibly drop in that you were a bit upset but the comment.
I'm so Sorry about the bullying your son had had to endure