DD looks nothing like me. Feeling a bit sad about it

[hamburgers]

Can anyone else relate?

I know it sounds so silly because I love DD (9 months) with all my heart but she has dad written all over her. She looks nothing like me apart from our eye shape and colour. For example I've got dark eyebrows and hair, oval face; DD has round cherub face with very fair hair and eyebrows.

I don't know.. I guess I thought if I had a daughter she'd be a mini version of me 🤷🏼‍♀️ Sometimes I look at DD and think how can she even be mine, she looks nothing like me!

She is 9 months old. She will change massively over the coming months/years.

My little boy looks nothing like me, like all his features are pretty much the opposite, he is just a mini version of my husband. However I take comfort in the fact that he is all me in personality!

Neither of my boys looks like me. They have my personality in spades however! It did used to bother me, but they’ve changed so much anyway since they were babies (DS1 in particular) that they still look like DH but the boys themselves don’t really look that much alike now. If that makes sense!

Dd looks more like me now at almost 4 than she did at 1. But either way coming from a mixed race family and forming a mixed race family both my mum and myself have been asked of our child was ours. That hurts.

If I look back at photos of my DD from 4 months ago when she was 9 months, she looks like a completely different child.

DS1 is just like me in looks and personality and DS2 is just like his Dad,

I think you’re being quite shallow.

Many babies look like their dads. I have two sons, DS1 I think looks like me but everyone says he looks like his dad! DS2 everyone says he is so like me in his features, but I can’t see it at all!

Don't be daft. My DD looks like herself, which is as it should be. Your children are not meant to be mini versions of you.

Everyone says my dd and even my nephew are my mirror image. Lucky children.. I don't see it myself though.

my DD looks nothing like me and people point it out all the bloody time, there's only been a few times when she's smiled a certain way or something that I've seen a bit of me in her, I love her to pieces regardless of who she looks like but I get what you mean i do wish she looked a bit more like me than she does.

It changes so much.

DS looks so much like me according to every body but I struggle to see it. DNeph apparently looks like my BIL but there's a photo of me as a baby where you can so clearly see my DNeph in it.

So maybe she looks more like you than you think. Plus they all look pretty similar at that age don't they.

I get what you're saying. It helps massively with bonding to have the sense of familiarity.

The funny thing is though that they do change, really.

My kids have done 360s, I swear!

Hang in there

Babies are supposed to look like their fathers. It's something evolutionary (can't remember the term) to stop fathers rejecting newborns who might not be theirs!

That said, DD was the spit of DH when little. It made me so sad when all I ever heard was 'oh she's just like her dad'.
Now she's 4, she's much more of a mix, and people often say we are quite similar.
Hang on in there, but I feel your pain.

That's really hurtful @MiddleClassProblem I've been asked if I'm DDs nanny (as in carer not grandmother!) a few times. That annoys me loads.

I've had people say that my DD is the head off me and that same day someone will say she's all DH.

I have two dds. Both are very different to each other, both look like their bloody dad!

Dh is brunette and brown eyed, olive skinned. I’m brunette and blue eyes with pale skin and freckles.

Dd1 is ginger, blue eyed (but different shade to mine) with a smattering of freckles that appeared in the last year or so but more olive skin than mine.

Dd2 is brunette, weird mix of brown/grey/green eyes, olive skinned.

Both have curly hair (dh’s and mine is straight). We probably look like we’ve plucked two random kids off the street when we all go out together!

DD1 is her dad but with my natural hair colour and possibly nose. DD2 is me but with her dad's hair colour!

I did sometimes feel a little gutted that DD1 wasn't a mini me (there was a long gap between DD1 and 2), although her attitude and sass I've noticed is me. Some things she says it's like I'm hearing myself!

Ds looked pretty much exactly like dh for his first year. He still looks more like dh aged 4 but I can see a bit of me in there. And a bit all of his own (lovely bluey grey eyes that no-one in our immediate family has) There are also moments when he reacts to something and I think, I would have done that, and there is a lot about his personality that is like me.
Basically don't stress, she has taken half of what she is from you and you will see yourself in her over the years one way or the other.

Just because you can't see yourself in her it doesn't mean other's can't. On the face of it my children are all more like their Dad but actually they're a good mix of both sides of the family, it's just their more prominent features follow DH.

Recently my 2nd sent me a picture of herself at about 7 or 8, dc3(5) could be her they're that alike & at the same age I was very similar too so the likeness is there I just struggle to see it.

Also they can a lot very quickly at this stage

She's nine months, she will change hugely. All babies have a round cherub face and her hair colour can change. You've literally no clue what she will look like as she gets older.

It’s shit isn’t it. Dd looks a lot like both of us atvher age which is weird but as she’s not my colour it’s assumed I’m the help. I think it was worse for my mum as I very much looked like my dad (although I got her nose when I was around 8) and as she is white she was asked about us being adopted a lot (80s assumptions white lady with brown kids).

She looks like herself as she is supposed to. She is not supposed to be a "mini me". Plus she is still a baby anyway and will change massively over the coming years. I think you are being a bit daft really

My DD does not look like me either, she has taken after her dad.

I am pale with green eyes, blonde hair. My DD has olive skin, brown eyes and hair...her dad nose haha.

I dont really give it much thought, just the way things are.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with feeling that way.

I have to say though: give it time! Mine are now 6 and 8 and it’s been fascinating to see not just them, but their friends change over the years as they grow up.

There are some children who looked nothing like one parent a few years ago who’ve come to strongly resemble them since!

Or sometimes you see more of a look or a mannerism that makes you think, wow, she’s the spit of [parent A or B].

And another thing is that it’s generally subjective. Everyone sees different things in the same child. My friend has a mini-me daughter and she just can’t see it!

So don’t feel bad about having those feelings, but also keep in mind that you have no idea how she’ll look in a year. Or, for that matter, how her character will develop.

My DC1 and I are so similar that I always know how they’re thinking and how they’re going to react. DC2 strongly resembles my side of the family but their character is a mystery to me. And all of that may well change in the future too!

Wait and see