Trick or Treating - Grabby?

[chattingtoaspanishgirl]

I'm thinking of taking DS (10 months), along with DNiece (8) this year because she's asked if I would dress him up and go with her and her Mum. I said it was a lovely idea!

Would you say Trick or Treating is grabby? The specifics are that we wouldn't knock on anyone's door who's house isn't decorated/have pumpkins outside.

For those in the area that don't have the full shabam of decorations up, the done thing in this area, apparently, is just to leave a basic bumpkin within site to let Trick or Treaters know they're welcome to knock for sweets

This really irks me a little bit, I've been brought up to believe a pumpkin gives spirits the permission to enter the house and not leave until the following Halloween

Also when we are out knocking, we leaving a bucket with sweets and children help themselves to a few

Round here we get groups of teenagers who knock at every door regardless of whether or not they have decorations. The problem is less grabbiness and more that it’s alarming, especially to our elderly neighbours.

Taking your child trick or treating is fine and not grabby. Refusing to participate and hand out sweets yourself is very poor. Just put a bowl and a pumpkin out.
Most houses on my road participate which is lovely. Last year we had someone come round in a car handing out sweets with her kids, she said she buys loads in and nobody comes to her road! That's a lovely generous attitude.
It's not LTB territory but I would take a pretty dim view of a man who grumpily sits in the dark but is happy to munch on what other people give out.

Grabby and common

Violetroselily oh the horror 😱 we wouldn't dare want our kids to be labelled as common for partaking in a long established tradition

Common for pities sake my mum had this attitude that it was begging and she gave out fruit. I still remember how disappointed I was every Halloween. Wouldn't do it to my kids!

As others said it's fine as long as you hand out sweets too.

I think it's grabby & un nerving. Definitely my least favourite day of the year & not an MN thing. I know lots of people who feel the same, ie as strongly as I do.

Our DC are long grown and left home. I love putting a pumpkin in a hanging basket by the door and opening the door to trick or treaters. Much prefer those who have done something about a costume (loads more points for homemade...) and those who interact rather than just stand there. I do miss the 'pieces' we expected to say before any reward. Its got to be good for children to learn to perform.

Without those knocking our door, there would be no Halloween for us, I consider the visitors are making their contribution by walking round, ot every one has to give and receive.

Have always wanted to do as a friend described, open the door to a dimly lit scene of witch holding extremely large knife dripping blood, quavering 'come in, children, come in ... I love little children'

Halloween night and trick or treating is a two way partnership.

Some people really go to town decorating houses and they want door knockers, they have also especially purchased sweets! How can that be grabby?
Randomly knocking on doors with no pumpkin is just anti social and cruel.

Can you explain why you won't leave a bowl of sweets out, though? Granted you can't force your DH to answer the door and also this is obviously not LTB territory but really his attitude is pretty poor if he's going to take sweets from a child ... even still that shouldn't stop you from doing the right thing

I suspect the whole thing makes him feel quite anxious. He suffers from bad bouts of anxiety and I don't think he likes it at all. So even a bowl left outside with sweets wouldn't feel great for him in case anyone knocked. They probably wouldn't, but anxiety isn't rational I suppose

But he may just be a grumpy bugger. He likes peace and quiet in general

I will ask him tonight about it. See what he says. If he's fine with it, I'll put a Halloween bowl out with a sign saying "Please take a couple of sweets! Happy Halloween! Love the chattingto family x"

Lol at "leave a bowl of sweets out on the doorstep"
I want to live where you all live. It's not bad round here, but if we did that they'd be gone within 5 seconds as someone'd no doubt run off with it!
I'm not a Trick or Treating/Halloween fan. Begging at strangers doors for sweets (even if you're dressed up as a cute witch or whatever that's basically what it is)
Plus even if you don't decorate your house you still get people knocking. Why?
So, yeah. Conclusion yes it's grabby lol.

Randomly knocking on doors with no pumpkin is just anti social and cruel

Agree with this, which is another reason why trick or treating is crap.
Could be someone living alone and feeling vulnerable, they don't want their door knocking on every 10 minutes or so.
Anxiety's crap too - if it'd have happened a couple of years ago when mine was bad it would have made me really nervous.

I'm a single parent and gave sweets to ToT when we were in but when we went out, I left a note to say will be back at 7pm. (Anti-social 17 year old at home and naice area so no burglary fear)
I saw other notes like
"Please don't knock after 7:30pm (sleeping baby)"
"Please don't knock and take ONE sweet from the bowl instead"
"Ran out of sweets"

I'm quite anxious and don't like interacting with strangers generally, so we leave a bowl (well, a 3 foot high vampire with a head full of sweets) for people to help themselves to while DH takes our kids out. There are only two houses they like to go to anyway - they take after me! After that, the three of them spend the evening opening the door to other kids. So I perfectly understand your DH not wanting to open the door, and you shouldn't feel it should prevent your DD from taking part in the whole thing.

I enjoy having trick or treaters call at out house. We usually get 60-80 callers. We decorate, and make it fun for them. One year we went away and I had disappointed children in the playground at school saying they had missed our house.

What I don't like are callers who:
a) say 'I don't like that' (I say fine, you don't have to have it)
b) try to grab handfuls (1 thing only)
c) are teenagers and haven't made any effort, (teenagers who have made an effort are welcome)

(I also don't like carol singers who don't know any carols).

I have mixed feelings about Halloween. On the one hand it can be fun but a few years ago my 85 yr old mother in law went to answer the door only to see big 'scream' mask pressed up close to the frosted glass panel. She was terrified and it took her several days to get over it. She wouldn't answer the door at night for a long time after.
I don't want to sound like a grump but round here Halloween is just a procession of children, some very young, mostly unaccompanied grabbing as many sweets as possible before scooting off to the next house. There just doesn't seem to be any fun in it.

gladiator That's sad.

Round here they only call on decorated / pumpkin houses and there tends to be a supervising adult at the bottom of the drive.

I find strangely I enjoy it more each year. Though I just asked DD2 if she still fitted her costume and she said she wasn't into it anymore. I expect when it comes round though she'll change her mind.

I hate Hallowe'en "traditions" and especially Trick or Treating.

Definitely no decorations anywhere near my house, but kids still come knocking. I don't open the door.

It smacks of greed, begging and a quick route to obesity and rotten teeth to me, I'm afraid!

(Although I am sometimes tempted to do what a friend recommended to me and provide toffee onions....)

We don’t mark Halloween. Still have people banging on the door and not buggering off when no one answers.
Rude and grabby. And scares the shit out of the dog.

Our road has several houses that put pumpkins out, or in the windows - so you know they are welcoming trick or treaters.

I have a big party and take bags of sweets to neighbours I know before hand, so I'm kind of giving away my own sweets. There are so many of them, I'd feel a cf otherwise.

Yanbu taking two kids trick or treating.