Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Trick or Treating - Grabby?

71 replies

chattingtoaspanishgirl · 22/09/2018 21:42

I'm thinking of taking DS (10 months), along with DNiece (8) this year because she's asked if I would dress him up and go with her and her Mum. I said it was a lovely idea!

Would you say Trick or Treating is grabby? The specifics are that we wouldn't knock on anyone's door who's house isn't decorated/have pumpkins outside.

For those in the area that don't have the full shabam of decorations up, the done thing in this area, apparently, is just to leave a basic bumpkin within site to let Trick or Treaters know they're welcome to knock for sweets Smile

This really irks me a little bit, I've been brought up to believe a pumpkin gives spirits the permission to enter the house and not leave until the following Halloween Blush

OP posts:
Whatsnewwithyou · 22/09/2018 22:37

I think we can all guess...you're taking them for yourself! But still not giving any out.Here have a biscuit too... Biscuit

Original poster
chattingtoaspanishgirl · 22/09/2018 22:40

Whats Actually DH will probably have them Blush

OP posts:
BluthsFrozenBananas · 22/09/2018 22:42

Not at all grabby, you’re welcome to come to my house. We go all out, decorate the front of the house, sound effects, lights, lasers, smoke machine, special Halloween doorbell and this year spooky window projections too. I buy a butt load of sweets, probably around £50 worth, but they all get given out. I’d be really disappointed if no one came to our door, especially as all the local kids usually declare our house the best one 🎃.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Events & celebrations
Cindersdonegood · 22/09/2018 22:50

I love Halloween (I'm in Scotland if that matters) and I decorate the shit out of my house. We're talking graveyard, green floodlights, 2ft spiders... everything! The local children love it. It's a treat and makes the night fun.

However. My own children can be out for hours and get very little. Everyone is happy to dress their kids up and send them out trick or treating but refuse to answer the doors or dish anything out themselves. Now THAT is grabby. I gave away almost 100 bags of treats (everything from pumpkin tangerines to homemade Scottish tablet in the bags) last year and yet my three came back with a puny handful of stuff, sad faces and sore feet from walking everywhere looking for any houses with pumpkins out or lights on.

If you're taking your child out, leave a bowl out at least FFS.

Trialsmum · 22/09/2018 23:11

Well if yyou’re he dh is going to sit grumpily in the dark then tuck in to everyone else’s sweets then yet yes it’s grabby!

MakeYourOwnFuckingTea · 22/09/2018 23:45

Dh hates it but he will take the kids out so he doesn't have to answer the door. I do that and love seeing all the little pumpkins, ghosts and witches. Dd2 is 9 and my youngest. I don't let the older ones go trick or treating as I think older kids in a big group can be intimidating for younger kids or elderly people. Plus had a minor incident with a small group myself. Last year had 3 teens walk up behind some smaller kids who were taking a bag of sweets each. One of them a young lad of about 14/15 starts saying to them to "fucking hurry up man, you know what I'm sayin yeah?" I tell them to leave as I won't be handing sweets to anyone so rude. Gobby one refuses and throws an egg at the house. Dh comes back with our kids. Dd1 recognises him and says hi to him. He immediately ups and leaves.Through dd I find his dad on fb who immediately brings him back round to apologise and clean the egg up. Grin His pride was badly dented according to dd.

Stupomax · 23/09/2018 00:10

He just doesn't like Halloween and has a right not to have to celebrate or participate since it's his home too

So he won't give any out and he won't eat any the children collect?

Stupomax · 23/09/2018 00:11

Actually DH will probably have them

Oh... So he WILL participate...

Whatsnewwithyou · 23/09/2018 07:10

FAQ for Halloween (and life in general)...

Q. Is it ok to just give?

A. Yes!

Q. Is it ok to give and take?

A. Yes!

Q. Is it ok to just take?

A. Nooooooo of course not that is really mean!!!!!!

KitandPup · 23/09/2018 07:38

I didn't really like halloween until DD came along. My best friend wanted to take her the first year and I was Hmm but she loved it! (She doesn't like sweets but enjoyed the dressing up). We only knock at decorated houses.

It's really lovely around her because all the local families get involved and no one take the piss. Some houses go all out with lasers and stuff.

As for leaving sweets for others, can't you leave a pumpkin with bowl with a note with it? That's what people do round here.

I don't think its grabby at all. If people don't want to do it then they don't decorate or answer the door. I love answering the door to lots of witches and ghosts.

I don't like much older children doing it though. I expect that may feel a bit intimidating to some.

Enjoy

Original poster
chattingtoaspanishgirl · 23/09/2018 08:52

Well, DH will admittedly be an extremely CF but there's not much I can do. I won't cause arguments by insisting he hands out sweets, etc. Yes he is being cheeky but that's on his conscience

We regularly take in parcels etc for neighbours so I don't think we're unneighbourly. DH just doesn't want to have Halloween in the House. Fair enough.

Not going to cause arguments of LTB over a few chocolates Grin

OP posts:
ifiwasabutterfly · 23/09/2018 09:18

Why can't you leave a bowl of sweets on your doorstep with a pumpkin for kids to help themselves to? We leave a little sign that says happy Halloween please help yourself to a treat.

nomilknosugarplease · 23/09/2018 09:28

He doesn’t have to hand out the sweets, just leave them on the doorstep like everyone else has suggested?

specialsubject · 23/09/2018 09:33

I suppose the answer to 'trick or treat?' could be 'trick' folllowed by a bucket of water...

just kidding!

roundthehorn · 23/09/2018 09:48

I moved to a country that had a very negative view about ToT'ing. My kids and I cut out pumpkins with a strip of double sided tape and a brief note on the back about the custom and delivered them to the blocks of houses close to my house asking that if they would like to be involved to stick them to the letterbox. The first year we visited half a dozen homes, within a couple of years we had an active ToT'ing community that would gather at a local park after door knocking to play games and have a few wines. My kids are now way to old to Trick or Treat but I love the fact that my area is now on the map for Halloween visits (even though I turn out my lights and leave a bowl of sweets on the doorstep)!

Whatsnewwithyou · 23/09/2018 09:51

Can you explain why you won't leave a bowl of sweets out, though? Granted you can't force your DH to answer the door and also this is obviously not LTB territory but really his attitude is pretty poor if he's going to take sweets from a child ... even still that shouldn't stop you from doing the right thing?

Ginorchoc · 23/09/2018 09:54

Our village goes crazy, lots of theatrical houses with the full works, a house projects a film such as ghostbusters onto their garage and provides popcorn, another has biscuit decorating tables set up in their house. I thought it originated from Ireland ?

Vagndidit · 23/09/2018 09:56

Last time I tried to leave out a bowl with a note to "please take a sweet" some yobs took the whole damn thing, BOWL and all, within the first 10 minutes. I LOVED that bowl!! So if you are going that route, put out something from the Pound shop or something, you don't mind having stolen. Angry

happymummy12345 · 23/09/2018 09:57

I hate it and would never take my child out. Nor do I open the door if any knock here. It's worse than grabby, it's begging. Buy the child sweets yourself and don't expect strangers to.

MeMyselfand · 23/09/2018 09:59

It's not grabby at all, once the kids are bigger and not going out do your bit and decorate the house for the little ones in your area to come round to yours. This is my first year staying in and waiting for the trick or treaters and I can't wait, my two are too big to go out now but we went out every year before

GreenTulips · 23/09/2018 10:03

It's not begging it's a bit of fun for the kids, bit of community spirit

MeMyselfand · 23/09/2018 10:08

happymummy12345 It's not begging at all and like GreenTulips said about community spirit it's about the last of community spirit left.
Everyone could easily go out and buy a packet of sweets for their child but that's not the point is it. It's a lot harder and more expensive to decorate your house and make treats for neighbours children but when you see their little faces, all dressed up in their costumes having a great time it's worth it

prettygreywalls · 23/09/2018 10:10

Trick or treat really annoys me , I have a pumpkin outside because I've always had a pumpkin outside over Halloween from well before trick or treat was a 'thing' absolutely nothing to do with trick or treat whatsoever , I don't go trick or treating and never have , I don't want people knocking on my door either , so fuck of you fuckers

prettygreywalls · 23/09/2018 10:11

*off

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 23/09/2018 10:13

I've only ever seen this on mn.
I'm in Ireland so may be different but every single child goes trick or treating here! It's a big thing and we are already planning costumes.
Younger usually go from about 5-7pm and older until 8pm.
If there are no lights on or no sign of any decoration outside a house, we don't knock.
We get tons and tons of sweets which we then give out about for the next few weeks. We usually still have some hanging around by the summer!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.