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Original poster

Leave your willy alone

60 replies

HuntIdeas · 22/09/2018 19:30

OMG, how many tines a day do I need to say this to my nearly 4 year old? It’s especially bad when he is just wearing PJ bottoms

Please tell me he will learn to be more discreet soon?

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 22/09/2018 20:09

Well dh is 53 so you've got a long wait. Apparently it's comfy to sit like that?.

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 22/09/2018 20:10

6yo DS is always at this too.
The other day he said to his DF its gone straight, it used to be wiggly. I had to leave the room Blush

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 22/09/2018 20:11

Boys love their willies. All of them. You learn to accept it. I do not accept pee everywhere and encourage them to learn to be mindful of the rest of the family.

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Behaviour & development
glagdy · 22/09/2018 20:11

Ds's favourite pastime st the moment is to get naked and bend over on all fours looking at his bits. And wiggle his bum around so his willy jiggles around. He then falls on the floor in fits of giggles and I try to act stern and unamused when really it's a pretty funny sight.

He also has his hands on it pretty much 80% of the time.

glagdy · 22/09/2018 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tiptopj · 22/09/2018 20:13

Ha I have a nine month old and every nappy change it's as if he has to check it's still there!!!

ShowOfHands · 22/09/2018 20:14

Just repeat every time that it is not appropriate in front of other people. DS was the same but is 7 now and needs no reminding. If DH did it, I'd be utterly disgusted.

Cynara · 22/09/2018 20:15

Oh yes. I have a 3 year old. Yesterday I was cooking dinner and turned round to see him standing behind me in the kitchen happily fiddling with his penis, completely enthralled by it. I imagine this will continue throughout his life, if his father is anything to go by. I just try to encourage him to keep it for his own amusement rather than getting it out or talking about it in front of other people.

Bluetrews25 · 22/09/2018 20:17

I've seen teen lads with a hand down the joggers as they are walking around with their mates. Bleurgh.
The 'wee everywhere' in our house comes in the form of spray into the loo from a very high waterfall. Think about the mist/spray rising at the bottom of Niagara falls. When they get older and taller this is an issue, no matter how good the overall aim!
Budgie smugglers may be your friend, OP.

Barbadosgirl · 22/09/2018 20:17

I have a four year old who never leaves his alone and a one year old who hangs on to dear life when his nappy is off.

Also, a big guffaw to the poster who coined the phrase "absent minded phallic fondling". Well done, that woman!

Aprilshowersnowastorm · 22/09/2018 20:31

I remember when ds learned to pull the skin back and everyone had to be impressed with his mushroom willy!!

amusedbush · 22/09/2018 20:44

I’m forever telling DH (28!) to leave his bits alone. I don’t know if it’s a comfort thing or what but I’ve never felt the need to put my hands in my pants while watching TV.

MaraScottie · 22/09/2018 20:48

Glagdy, hahaha GrinGrinGrin

AnotherOriginalUsername · 22/09/2018 20:52

We had a private scan recently to find out the sex of our baby. I was 28 weeks pregnant.

Sonographer: "I think it's a boy"
Slowly reviews scan frame by frame
Sonographer: "I think that's a little penis there...."
Goes back to scan in real-time
Sonographer: "Oh he's definitely a boy. He's playing with his willy. With both hands."

I've never seen my husband look so proud Hmm

MakeYourOwnFuckingTea · 22/09/2018 20:58

I was getting used to my new digital camera which could post photos to my laptop and then fb. The pictures you could see were tiny thumbnails. I'd let the kids have a play round with it. 5 mins after posting my best mate rang me in a fit of laughter. She told me to go on my laptop to look at my latest photos on fb. Dd had managed to snap a picture of ds holding his willy with a big thumbs up. I only saw him giving a thumbs up. Blush

Peskyelephant · 22/09/2018 22:02

DS who is 3 is slightly troubled by the "stick" which occasionally appears in his willy. He also likes to sit on the toilet making it go up and down after he has finished weeing.

Bellabutterfly2016 · 23/09/2018 07:04

I have dd3 and expecting a boy and
I'm grossed out by all of it - reading this wishing I was having another girl 😬

shutupandgotosleep · 23/09/2018 07:38

Short answer is they never leave it alone. Just you wait till they start talking to/about it like it is a sentient being.

Nillynally · 23/09/2018 07:41

Overheard my mother saying to my little brother when I was about 8 'if you continue to play with it all the time it will fall off like your sisters did!!'

ipswichwitch · 23/09/2018 07:44

Things I had no inkling I’d have to say as a parent:
“Leave your willy alone”
“Leave your brothers willy alone”
Don’t use your toothbrush to clean your willy”
“Don’t use your toothbrush to clean your brothers willy” Hmm
I could go on.....

Zoflorabore · 23/09/2018 07:44

Oh it never stops. My ds is almost 16 and it's his favourite hobby after Fortnite

wanderings · 23/09/2018 07:47

Buy the board game "Get a Grip", where you have to do tasks without using thumbs. It contains some fabric gadgets to disable thumbs. Perhaps a suitable consequence could be to wear these!

@MakeYourOwnFuckingTea It would also prevent thumbs up pictures!

DeloresJaneUmbridge · 23/09/2018 08:07

DS discovered his at about six months and there started what will no doubt be a lifelong obsession. He’s 15 now and it’s obviously his favourite activity after gaming.

Friends DS is the same age and autistic, he puts a sign on his bedroom door saying “Private Time” when he wants to...ahem...play with his. So so honest with his parents about what this means.

BillywilliamV · 23/09/2018 08:10

Teach them to wee sitting on the loo, never understood this standing up and aiming business.Its okay for urinal but why do they do it at home?

MadMaryBoddington · 23/09/2018 08:25

Billywilliam quite - ds is six and wees sitting down (like his father). We don’t have wee everywhere. He also rarely needs reminding not to play with his willy in public now. It doesn’t have to be a lifelong thing. I certainly wouldn’t wouldn’t tolerate that behaviour in an adult male; quite frankly if you do then it is no surprise that your ds’s will copy it and assume it is ok.