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Original poster

NDN parked like a twat and then fucked off on holiday

48 replies

shityourpants · 19/09/2018 00:53

He has 2 spaces for his 2 cars.

He decided to park horizontally in the space a few feet from the end of my vertical parking space.

He is on holiday for 2 weeks.

Wanker.

OP posts:
Catastic · 19/09/2018 01:06

I’ve heard that if you put breadcrumbs on his car it will attract a lot of birds.
Birds and their natural outputs.

ZacharyQuack · 19/09/2018 01:12

Perhaps you can then bedazzle the natural outputs with some glitter? And coloured feathers.

By the time he gets back his car would look like a Mardi Gras float.

It won't help you with your own parking space, but it would ease the annoyance.

Neptunesgiraffe · 19/09/2018 01:13

You know the rules - we're going to need to see a diagram in order to fully sympathise with you. :)

NarcolepticOuchMouse · 19/09/2018 01:17

DP has just informed me you can rock a car off it's handbreak and push it out the way. He says only do it if it's not on a hill though.

EmMcK · 19/09/2018 01:30

Yup, I came on to the thread with full anticipation of a diagram Smile

RedneckStumpy · 19/09/2018 01:34

In that situation DH would be out there with the tow cable and the pickup and drag his car out the way.

ViserionTheDragon · 19/09/2018 01:39

I like the breadcrumbs idea Grin

penisbeakers · 19/09/2018 01:42

Wouldn't it be horrible for him to come home to slashed tyres?

Original poster
shityourpants · 19/09/2018 01:45

I think it has something to do with the fact that I refused to move my trampoline from my garden because his wife doesn't like looking at it Hmm

NDN parked like a twat and then fucked off on holiday
OP posts:
Original poster
shityourpants · 19/09/2018 01:49

To the left are 2 parking spaces owned by my NDN but 1.
Then it's my NDN and his house, 2 spaces, and my house and single parking space on the right. NDN work van is parked at the bottom.

He has left enough space for my NDN but 1 to reverse his cars out safely and easily but for me to reverse out it's a struggle so I don't damage mine or NDN's car.

OP posts:
Redglitter · 19/09/2018 01:52

That's THE best diagram ever

HappydaysArehere · 19/09/2018 01:55

It’s probably the late hour when I should be in the land of nod but I cannot understand your lovely picture diagram. I thought he was obstructing you by giving you little room to get out. In the morning I will probably feel stupid as others will put me right!

Original poster
shityourpants · 19/09/2018 01:58

I have just enough room to get out, but it is hard as I have to reverse really carefully and slowly so I don't damage his or my car. He hasn't completely blocked me in, he has just purposely made it a struggle for me.

He has an empty parking space which he usually uses for his work van, however I think it's in protest because I refused to get rid of my trampoline last week.

OP posts:
GoodbyeSummer · 19/09/2018 02:03

Is there any way you could reverse in rather than out? Sometimes it's easier to manoeuvre going the opposite direction.

LauderSyme · 19/09/2018 02:10

Yep, he's definitely a wanker. Not that me agreeing with you helps at all.
I feel like on this occasion, the phrase "Revenge is a dish best served cold" is less a recommendation, more a directive Wink

Tartyflette · 19/09/2018 02:12

As he's gone on holiday, once you've managed to get your car out, why not then use his space for the duration?

PyongyangKipperbang · 19/09/2018 02:21

As he's gone on holiday, once you've managed to get your car out, why not then use his space for the duration?

And thank him for leaving it free for you to use. It will drive him WILD that his carefully thought out plan to inconvenience you has back fired :o

Oh and park in front of your drive in future, so he cant park over the road without blocking the road and his own drive.

BrendasUmbrella · 19/09/2018 02:26

As he's gone on holiday, once you've managed to get your car out, why not then use his space for the duration?

This! (And take a photo of his van, so that you have proof he made it hard for you to leave your drive.)

Actually, what is between your two properties? If it's just grass, drive onto his drive to get to yours.

BrendasUmbrella · 19/09/2018 02:27

Do the breadcrumb thing too.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 19/09/2018 02:41

Do you have or could you find his mobile number? Even better if it's a work vehicle with it already painted on the side. If so, you could print off several copies of a quick notice and stick them on all of the windows and also in the free ads section of the local paper - only use a bit of sellotape, though, so they can be easily removed without trace just before he gets back home.

Wording for the notice (in big, bold letters): "FOR SALE - NEED URGENT SALE HENCE PRICE £100 - No offers, first come first served"

The only disadvantage would be that he'd be constantly hassled whilst on holiday and possibly end up with a huge phone bill if he's abroad....

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 19/09/2018 02:50

As he's gone on holiday, once you've managed to get your car out, why not then use his space for the duration?

Or advertise his drive on one of these 'rent my drive' websites. Find what the going rate is and ask for 20% of it. State that it's for a minimum term of twelve months, full year's payment up front - again first come first served - hence the low price and make sure you're in for the next day or two. Don't forget to tell them that your extremely 'vulnerable' brother can get aggressive and argumentative, but he's harmless, so just ignore anything he says....

LibbyBrown · 19/09/2018 03:00

What charming language you use.

No wonder they left you.

glagdy · 19/09/2018 03:51

@LibbyBrown BiscuitBiscuitBiscuit

Veterinari · 19/09/2018 04:03

Just use his drive. He’s being a dick

Anastassiabeaverhausen · 19/09/2018 04:08

Does he have a lawn? Do a burnout on it

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