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Original poster

I hate unannounced visitors

51 replies

FlyteB · 18/09/2018 13:46

Please tell me it's not just me! I'm off work at the mo and people seem to think my home is a free for all! My FIL calls round unannounced alot to moan about his health. I'm seriously thinking of closing the blinds and hoping the dog doesnt bark

OP posts:

Gingerivy · 19/09/2018 13:05

I hate having people just pop in. My dcs are autistic and "pop ins" stress them out.

dArtagnansCrumpet · 19/09/2018 13:10

My dad's just turned up totally unannounced and random, I felt very uncomfortable.

chickedychicked · 19/09/2018 13:34

I make sure the house is presentable almost everyday and no one comes round, the one day it isn't my in laws decide to come over. I wouldn't mind either but they then comment on how untidy it is

Cuppaand2biscuits · 19/09/2018 13:44

My in-laws used to pop in every day when I was on maternity leave. I used to grab my shoes and bag and say I was just on my way out. Hammer on the door if I didn't answer the doorbell. Drove me nuts!
I'm quite happy for people to pop in now, so long as it's not too early!

Pinkmonkeybird · 19/09/2018 14:14

Yep. My ILs just 'drop in' whenever they want and quite often when it is when we are 10 mins off eating our evening meal or on a Sunday when we just want some peace. FFS.

Rebecca36 · 19/09/2018 14:27

I don't like people just popping round, would never do it myself unless it was an emergency. People really should telephone first, a good idea is to have an answering service (most do), and you don't have to pick up the phone. That's landlines of course. With mobiles we can see who is calling and either let it ring or answer.

My home is my refuge - haven might be a less dramatic description.

I'm sociable enough when I choose to be.

ifonly4 · 19/09/2018 14:44

If I'm dropping something off and really intend to just say a quick hello, I don't necessarily phone beforehand, but if I'm hoping to sit down for a catch up, I always check before even if it's a last minute thing.

I'm not feeling great this week and have just got back from work, I feel really hot so I've put my nightie on for pure comfort (will change back later) so there's no way I'll be answering the door.

lexi727 · 19/09/2018 14:50

If I'm having a bad day with the kids and I just want to hide in a hole whilst they nap then it infuriates me. If I'm in a great mood, my house is tidy and the DC's are being little angels I welcome them with open arms to trick them into thinking I am the perfect housewife

BiddyPop · 19/09/2018 14:50

If you are not normally at home, and are off work, then presumably its for a reason (illness, mat leave, holidays etc). That does not necessarily mean that you are "available" for random callers - you are recovering, minding a baby, relaxing/getting 1001 jobs done at home etc.

If the person calling cannot accept that you already have plans for your time which did not involve them, and won't leave, then I would just start doing my own thing around them and ignoring puppy dog eyes looking for tea or conversations starting on or whatever.

If you WANT to sit down and chat, that;s one thing. But if you had no plans to and are off to do something, then absolutely it is up to you to say "no I can't", shoo them away and just get on with your day.

bumblingbovine49 · 19/09/2018 14:57

I quite like it usually, it makes me feel like I am part of a community and I belong , though that is probably because it doesn't happen often

I don't like it if they arrive at meal times though and I am forced to make them lunch/dinner as I rarely plan for extra people for food.

Tea/coffe/drinks/snacks - all fine. Meals though I prefer to know they are coming for

bumblingbovine49 · 19/09/2018 15:03

MN really is introvert heaven though isnt it? . Unsurprising as it is an online forum for chatting!

I always feel more cheerful after having a visitor (unless they really really outstay their welcome), though I appreciate it can interfer with plans sometimes. I just tell people though if they can't stay becuase I am going out/working etc. I would never dream of telling people to leave just because I have jobs to do at home though. Those can wait!

A perfect unanounced visit for me lasts a maximum of of an hour or so and is a chance to chat/catch up/have tea/ a drink. I often love the unexpectedness of it but if they stay too long, I appreciate it can be annoying.

MulticolourMophead · 19/09/2018 15:40

I've generally seen threads divided 50/50 regarding popping in.

I don't like it, apart from a couple of relatives, as so many people how did this (before I started frinding ways iof diverting it) were coming in order for me to entertain them, regardless of what I might be doing. And on one occasion, the stuff I needed to do was really, really urgent with a deadline and the relative was simply not understanding I had to get it done. They got stroppy that I wasn't just sitting down for a cuppa and nattering.

I've also seen comments that people pop in and don't understand that home working means exactly that, you can't just drop what you're doing. I had a friend who was on a conference call when her DM came round. She ignored the door as she reasonably couldn't break from the call. Her DM later had a go at her, simply couldn't get her head around the fact that friend was actually working.

Holidayshopping · 19/09/2018 15:54

I always feel more cheerful after having a visitor

But I presume you would feel equally cheerful if they’d just text first to ask if it was ok?

I hate people who drop in-it’s intrusive and rude. It says, ‘my desires outweigh yours’. Bah humbug.

Shadow1234 · 19/09/2018 15:59

Dont mind mum and dad or in laws popping in, but timing
Is key!

We had invited close friends round for a nice evening in with
chinese - just about to eat and a cousin of mine turned up out
of the blue with her husband. They said they werent doing
anything, so thought they'd visit us (nice). Problem is, they
sat down and joined in the conversation (they never get the
hint to leave). Was very embarrasing for our friends who'd
never met them before and ruined our night. I would never
turn up unannounced at anyones house simply for these kind
of reasons.

If my parents or In-laws did this (and saw we had company),
they would immediately offer to leave and pop in another time.

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 19/09/2018 15:59

I don't mind it, but wouldn't ever do it to anyone else. No idea why, I just always check first.

GoBigOrange · 19/09/2018 16:46

I hate it, mostly because people seem to have an uncanny knack for appearing uninvited on my doorstep when it is least convenient.

Luckily DH hates pop ins too, and we tend to do synchronized dives behind the sofa if anyone knocks on our door, and then huddle there until we're sure they're gone. Need to train the toddler better though, as he's a right nosey parker and likes to pop up in the window to see who it is and gives us away.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 19/09/2018 16:50

I didn't used to mind this but I think with age I've become less tolerant ... about a lot of things really!

I work from home and my office is downstairs by the front door. I either have to sit with the blinds closed and light on or just accept neighbours/friends are going to see me and knock.

However, I've recently started sitting there with my phone call headphones on permanently so if I don't want to see anyone I gesticulate by the window, pointing to headphones, shrugging, mouthing 'such a shame, another time'.

LookMoreCloselier · 19/09/2018 17:08

I hate it so so so much. Thankfully it pretty much never happens now. There are so many things that I could be doing in my house that would make it inconvenient timing for a visitor. If I know someone is coming over I would like to check that both my house and myself are somewhat presentable, unfortunately as we work, have 2 kids, and some other responsibilities too, the house often has to take a back seat and only the minimum can get done a lot of the time, as for myself, well it's my house and I might not be dressed and I might not be in the mood to be sociable, I need to have warning so that I am in the mood for company. I find it rude and selfish, as even if you are the type who enjoys surprise company, surely you realise that not everyone does, and these days, we are all so contactable so I don't see any excuse.

wolfywolfy · 19/09/2018 17:46

Just don't answer the door ?

ohtheholidays · 19/09/2018 18:56

I never used to mind it and I had an open door policy.

But I'm ill now and disabled and it's my worst nightmare,the house is always alright but I'm not.If I'm having a really bad pain day then I could be upstairs sleeping or I could have nodded of on on the sofa and those days there is every chance I'll be in a nightie(if I'm downstairs)if I'm upstairs I'll be naked so unanounced visitors are not good!

cantfindname · 19/09/2018 19:08

I have a neighbour who started doing this. 5 times in one afternoon. I know he was trying to be kind as I had just lost my OH but it was infuriating. I am also unwell and some days nap a lot and don't get dressed properly. In the end I had to get blunt with him and said I wasn't well and couldn't stand talking. He hasn't spoken to me since. Oh well...

1forAll74 · 20/09/2018 04:08

I don't really like visitors either.. I used to do years ago, when I lived in bigger houses. Now I live in a tiny place, and have lived alone for about 17 years,, so just like my own space now. I am quite a sociable chatty person,, as in going to my local pub to chat to people. but that's about it. home again, and peace and quiet.

penisbeakers · 20/09/2018 04:15

I cannot STAND unannounced visitors, and I make sure everyone knows that so they don't turn up. If I am not expecting someone or something in the form of a delivery, I don't answer the door. It's always locked too.

voxnihili · 20/09/2018 06:56

I normally don't mind but I'm home with a newborn at the moment and so things don't get done as quickly as they used to. I have no problem with my mum or best friend as they'd either take the baby, or do the jobs for me but anyone else needs to phone first! I'm working on getting the colicky baby to scream to order - that gets rid of unwanted visitors pretty quickly.

Sweetpea55 · 20/09/2018 08:16

BIGSANDYBALLS Im with you,,age has made me less tolerant of suprise visitors.They always come when iv not filled the dishwasher ,etc

I was playing beauty salons with my gd age 5,,,,im thoroughly made up and looking like an old pantomime dame...loads of lipgloss ear to ear,,,,,,and the doorbell goes,,,,,,fuffing great...

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